You’d think, as a woman who struggles with the middle, I would love the New Year. I don’t.
Look, I really don’t like New Years. I think I’m just now comfortable being open about it.
There are some aspects that I appreciate. Yes, a fresh new/clean slate sounds lovely. Everyone taking time to focus on how to be their best self! Again, you would think this is my JAM. But it’s not.
In true self-reflection, I sat down to figure out why… and I think maybe you can learn from it too.
Expectations Galore
New Years comes with many made up expectations. These expectations can really make it almost impossible to enjoy the good parts of the holiday.
New Year’s Eve
New Year’s Eve sets us all up for failure.
We aren’t in When Harry Met Sally – it will not be a magical night where the love of our life finds us at a party and tells us how much they love us. That’s no shade on When Harry Met Sally, it is truly one of my favorite movies of all time. It just truly embodies how the expectations for New Year’s Eve have become this epic, life-changing evening.
It is supposed to be some glitter filled night where you drink champagne, dance like there is no tomorrow, and kiss the person you love at midnight. Individually, these are literally some of my favorite things. I will once again share the picture of me that was from a night that did have those things and is one that I hope embodies my spirit.
Once again, though, expectations make these aspects seem mandatory and the only way to have a good New Year’s Eve. Maybe I just don’t like being told what to do, but the singular narrative about what New Year’s Eve should be is just too narrow for me.
For the record, we did absolutely nothing for New Year’s Eve because I am a mess and my husband doesn’t care. So… no shocker there.
New Year’s Resolutions
Ugh. Where do I even begin? Let’s define the word resolution!
I don’t quite understand why we need to make a firm decision to be someone new at the start of a year. Obviously, I love self-improvement. I mean, I am coming to terms with the fact that this little brand I am building is in the self-help space. I think that my issues with New Year’s Resolutions and the term Self-Help are the same, though – they only allow for one right way of doing things.
We are complex, nuanced people who have various experiences and needs. There is no one size fits all solution for everyone. It’s pretty safe to assume that one New Year’s resolution isn’t going to change your entire life. Additionally, being firm in a decision may not be in your best interest. Maybe you require flexibility to be successful!
What success and happiness looks like is different for all of us. How we get there and at what rate we get there will look different. Again, this singular narrative about how and what to do with New Year’s resolutions (that often have to do with weight, another reason I am not a fan), just makes me grouchy.
Maybe I’m just sad because I love Christmas
I feel a need to be fair that I may dislike New Year’s because it marks the end of the Holiday season. I love Christmas! More specifically, I love the joy, connection, and magic of the season. Possibly, New Years marks the end of a season I love, so I will always have a beef with it.
It also marks the beginning of what, I think, is the worst time of the year – January and February. They’re so long, so cold, and so sad.
As a way to battle that this year, I am releasing a workbook in the middle of it to distract myself. Support From the Mddl is available for pre-order today 🙂
New isn’t always better
Maybe it is just the phrase, New Year, New Me that really gets me. We don’t need a new you! You are wonderful. If you want to be a better you, awesome, I would like to cheer you on.
But please don’t let anyone tell you that you have to because it’s a new year.