I would never call myself remarkable. I am not someone like Bill Gates or Kamala Harris, where my contributions to society will be noted beyond the people around me. If you’re asking yourself, “why should I care about what this lady has to say?” I would respond, “that’s a great question and I have no good answer,” but I can tell you more about me to let you know whether or not you could find any nugget of insight in these pages.
I’m pretty much an average middle class white lady. I live in the midwest, in a mid-size city. I don’t live exactly where I grew up, but I didn’t really go too far. I got married at the median age of marriage for most women in the US and am on my way to having 2.4 children (I mean, I have 2 kids but am thinking about having a third and am still physically capable so, that’s where the .4 comes in for me). I am not the middle child though, I am the youngest which will become resoundingly clear at some point.
I am going to brag and say I am of above average intelligence. I’m not going to go crazy on you here and try to convince you I am some kind of genius. I do have 2 Masters Degrees with an overall Graduate GPA of 3.9, and undergraduate GPA of 3.8. Graduated undergrad Phi Beta Kappa with Magna Cum Lade. Do I say this to brag, um yeah. No one else cares so I’m going to write it down and am happy to provide transcripts to anyone who asks. I am not a doctor, did not graduate from an Ivy League school, and so far not one person has much else to say about my two master degrees beyond, “oh wow, cool.” But school was important to me and is one place that I can brag with stats to back it up.
I am a mother of 2. I am also a solid mom to my kids. Parenting is such a vulnerable thing that has built in failure at every stop (and trust me, I’ve had lots of it). It is so specific and contains many variables. Somehow I’ve been able to work past my perfectionism to confidently say I am a good mom and not sweat the small stuff. That may also change in 10 minutes.
I am a mother of 2 who works outside the home and gets so much fulfillment from it. My career is something I’m proud of and I work hard at. I knew very young that I did not have the skills and temperament for being a “stay at home mom” even though being a mom was one of the answers I always gave when someone asked what I wanted to be when I grew up (most likely because my mom is the loveliest woman in the world and was a stay at home mom). My career is not better or more important than that of another parent that works inside the home. My work has led to interesting and disheartening experiences. It has helped me find purpose in life and hard work is one of my highest values. I also have zero interest in being a boss babe, thanks.
I’m a big girl. You may call it plus size, fat, curvy, or something else, but none of those ever felt right to me. I have always been big. I was born big, remained big, and even at my smallest, was big. Moving through the world as a big girl has influenced every single decision I’ve made which is only something I’ve recently started to actually recognize. Exploring that openly is very difficult (which is so dumb, because you see me, you know I’m big, it’s not a secret). And before you do the whole, no Lacey, you’re beautiful schtick, uh yeah. No one said I wasn’t pretty. Because I am. I am big and pretty. Sometimes, I’m a straight up babe. Most of the time I just remind you of your cousin’s best friend who is really pretty you promise.
I am not perfect, but damn it I want to be. I know everyone won’t like me, but please like me. I’ve always been good, not great. Smart, but not the smartest. Funny, but not the class clown. Literally I came in second for being the most likely to be successful and teachers pet. I’m not even the best brown noser! So I wanted to share about being in the middle (upper middle, I mean come on, look at that GPA guys) and how sometimes, lots of times, it’s a great place to be.