Welcome to No Shame in the Home Game, the podcast that cares

2

how your home feels, not looks.

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I am Lacey, your, you know what, today

is, that we're recording this, it's

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the first day of Disability Pride

Month, so I'm going to say I'm Lacey,

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your disabled co host, and she's just

fine with it because disabled's not

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a bad word, and it is who she is.

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Here with my delightful and

supportive co host, Sara.

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Hi, Sara.

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Sara: Hi Lacey.

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Thank you for bringing

that to my attention.

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I did not know that it was Disability

Pride Month and I like learning new

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things so I'm glad I learned something new

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Lacey: I made, a video and I made,

a really long threads post, because,

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as I say in it, the disability

minority group is one that literally

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at any moment you could join.

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if that's the only reason for you to care,

I think it's a pretty compelling reason.

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It's, something that I didn't think about

before I was where I am now, and I'm a

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straight, cisgendered, white, middle class

lady with all the privileges in the world,

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and if disability is challenging for me,

you can only imagine how it is for people

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who don't have all those privileges.

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if I can share my story a little bit and

raise awareness, it is the least I can do.

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Sara: that's awesome you are

bringing awareness to it.

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And I think that's all we can

ever do is just be more aware.

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Lacey: yeah, yeah.

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I don't think this comes out until after

disability pride month, but that's fine.

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We can learn any month of the year.

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Sara: I learned after the fact that

the last Wednesday in June Joy Day.

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Lacey: It's our bread and butter.

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Sara: everything is going

to revolve around that.

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So you learn when you learn and

then you adjust going forward.

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That's what we do

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Lacey: Absolutely.

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And I also brought it up because

the topic that we're talking about

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today, the tool we're talking

about, I use as a disabled person.

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It's one of the best tools that Sara gave

me when it comes to, managing my life.

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we're talking about the Good Better

Best tool, and I'm going to hand it

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over to Sara to start chatting about it.

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Sara: That's really interesting that you

said that's one of your favorite tools

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with the disability aspect, because

Lacey signed me up to be a speaker with,

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you say the name of the organization?

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Lacey: Success Society.

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It's a group for entrepreneurs

with chronic illness.

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That

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Sara: aspect to go off of, and I was

like, it's gotta be good, better, best,

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because it's all about flexing with life.

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And if there's a group of people who

have to flex the most, it's people with

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disabilities who don't know what days are

gonna feel like, more so than most people.

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People, what I love about good, better,

best is it allows for life to happen.

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Like I said, it's not.

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Binary.

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It's not on off.

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It is the dimmer switch of life,

which I just came up with and I

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couldn't be more excited about.

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Lacey: was so good.

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I'm over here in my mind,

like, and that's a sound clip.

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So I'm so impressed that you just came up

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Sara: this very much for me is

a response to how I grew up.

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I grew up very much.

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There is a right way to do things

and that is how you must do

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them to be a valid human being.

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So I grew up in this very, like

you're walking a tightrope and you

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can't go left and you can't go right.

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Cause if you fall off,

you'll never get back on.

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But what I love about good, better,

best is it just opens up that.

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That tight rope into this very

large interstate that you get

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to veer all over the place.

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There is, you get to do whatever you need

to do to get to where you need to go.

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So simply put, if you have an idea of

something that needs to get done, it

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could be a meal that needs to happen.

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Laundry, cleaning, eating.

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And I'm coming at it strictly from

home management because this is

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no shame in the home game, but you

get to have your ideal, your best.

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This is, if all things are

equal, this is what I want to

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happen, but you get to flex it.

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you can't get all the way to best

so you can do better and maybe

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a little bit more life happens.

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And you have a little less energy,

so then you shift over to good.

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Or, you can always start at good can

be your starting point, but having

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that framework of how can I level

this up and level it down, and I

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don't even want to say up and down

because there's no judgment here.

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It's just that dimmer switch

of where can I fall on this

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continuum of completing a task.

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The task still gets done.

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I always give the

example of making dinner.

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If your idea of dinner is making fresh

meatballs, having some sauce, maybe doing

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a fresh salad from your own garden, but

then life happens and you're like, okay,

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I'm not going to do fresh meatballs, but

I'm going to use the frozen meatballs.

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I still have the jarred sauce.

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Okay.

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I'll still do the fresh salad.

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Okay, life continues to happen.

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You're way too tired.

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It's the end of the day.

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Everyone's hungry.

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Just get food on the table.

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Good enough.

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All right, maybe it's a bag of

frozen peas and just the meatballs.

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Maybe forget the bagged

salad if you don't have one.

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Maybe forget the sauce.

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it's just going, I didn't fail.

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I simply flexed.

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Good, better, best.

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Lacey tell me about good,

better, best in your

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world.

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Lacey: First of all,

I want, I didn't fail.

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I just flexed on a t shirt.

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So I may be making that later.

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there's so many things that I want to say.

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the first thing I want to say is

the reason why Good Better Best

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has had such an, impact on me is

because it focuses on the good.

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Getting anything done is good.

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It is not a failure.

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It is good.

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So, literally, our baseline

is a positive thing.

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even if you think about high,

medium, and low, low sounds

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bad, I'm an A student, y'all.

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If I get an A I am

unhappy with myself, okay?

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Side note, this is a very lacy thing.

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And in my graduate

program, I ended up with a

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3.99 GPA because of one a minus.

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there's anything about me

in a nutshell, that is one

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Sara: what I'm hearing is you're

not an A, you're an A plus plus.

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that's where you would prefer to be.

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Lacey: but in my mind, anything

that's not an A is a B.

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is not good.

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And that's why good, better, best

is so great because good is an A.

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You did what you needed to do.

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You accomplished your goals.

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You got it done.

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Better.

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you were able to do it a little bit more

and in a little bit of a different way.

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Best is like rock star.

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Like we, the baseline is positive.

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And I think that's something

that we don't often see in our

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world of, doing the bare minimum.

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And let me just say, I don't like the term

bare minimum, but just meeting the goal.

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That is meeting the goal, especially as

we've said in multiple different ways,

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no one is getting an award for living

the most perfect life or being the most

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perfect mom or making the most perfect.

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There is no award for that.

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we just need to be able to

accomplish what we need to

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accomplish to be able to keep moving.

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So that is one of my favorite

parts of Good, Better, Best, is

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that the mentality and mindset

is very positive and not shaming.

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Because we all, as I've shared many

a times, I have shamed the shit

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out of myself over the course of my

life, and it got me chronically ill.

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That's a oversimplification, but really,

it's a big part of my anxiety, and

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my anxiety exacerbated my symptoms,

and it caused all these problems.

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the other thing that I really

like about Good, Better, Best

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is because it is so flexible.

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So something that Sara, talked

about is like using it as

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a scale for a task, right?

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So this is it, you know, getting done.

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This is it getting done

a little bit better.

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This is it getting done,

at the highest level.

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I like to think about it in

the more macro way of, okay,

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I need for this day to happen.

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What do I need to get done for it to

have just been what I needed to do?

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And that is my good.

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And then if, okay, if I have

a little bit more energy, What

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does that better look like?

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And then if we're talking ideal

day, I'm firing on all cylinders.

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That's best.

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So what I've done is I've built into

kind of my calendar system there.

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I have a category of this

task is a good, better, best.

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Now chain time will change

which category it is.

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Right.

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For today, one my things is my kids

laundry is sitting in the hallway.

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The good for me is getting it out of

the current receptacle that it's in.

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And that's, a success.

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Folding it and putting

away is a different thing.

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Separating it's a different,

like they're all different steps.

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when I sat down this morning, I was

like, okay, I want to get this stuff

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done for the Joyful Support Movement.

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This is my good.

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If I can get this done, it's better, So

I use it as a way to really organize.

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more than just a single

task or elements of a task.

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I use it to organize my life

because as Sara said, I can't

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do everything every day.

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Trust me, your girl's tread.

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Sara: Well, It's not just, you're

dealing with chronic illness, which is

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this own wild ride to try to navigate.

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So put that aside.

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life itself just throws curve ball after

curve ball, all of a sudden it's raining

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when it wasn't supposed to be raining.

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So your outdoor picnic

can't be outdoor anymore.

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All of a sudden the dog

is throwing up nonstop.

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Stop.

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So your hour of dinner prep

is now you driving to the vet.

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life just keeps happening.

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And so I feel as though it's essential

to know that at any moment it's pivot.

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it applies in so many different ways.

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And like you said, it's.

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Removing that shame element because I

get that shame has an importance in life.

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I really do.

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However, if we only attach ourselves

to shame, then it just drains our

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energy cup and we don't get anywhere.

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shame has its place.

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However, It's not a long term use tool.

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going back to other examples of good,

better, best, I was just editing our

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episode with Shannon, the nutritionist.

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we have the very similar mindset of just

starting where you are going from A to B,

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not trying to go all the way from A to Z.

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she was saying a lot of times

clients will say, Oh, well, I

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didn't have an hour to exercise.

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So I didn't exercise and her responses.

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Okay.

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Could you take a 10 minute walk?

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If an hour is best, that's awesome.

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If you have a whole hour to devote

to doing weights and cardio and

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stretching, awesome, but don't go zero.

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Again, that's that light

switch of zero or 60 minutes.

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Let's just turn the dimmer to 10 minutes.

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Can you move your body for 10 minutes?

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And it was the same thing when

we were talking about food.

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okay.

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It's not about finding the ideal

preparation to preserve all the nutrients,

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like that's good to know, but it's can you

just get one more vegetable in your day?

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again, it's that giving yourself that

allowance you don't have to either go I'm

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gonna eat everything Organic and fresh

cut and perfect or I'm only gonna eat

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fast food and everything processed and

packaged like there's a whole variety

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in between which Is where we live.

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We live in the in between most of the

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Lacey: I just had another

realization of, it's also a

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pretty solid relationship tool.

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after we had Isaac, Joe and I had a

rough road of adjusting to parenthood

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and everything that comes along with it.

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And one of the things that we

did that was a huge help is we

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communicated what we needed from each

other every day as a bare minimum.

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if you can just get these things

done for me, I will Be able to

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function better the next day.

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one of them became a foundation of our

later relationship is that if Joe could

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do the dishes at the end of the day, so

that I start with a clean slate in the

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morning, it makes a world of difference.

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and so trust me, he had a whole

laundry list for me, it was very nice

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too, because you could also have the

conversation to realize that my good.

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was really his better, and we were

able to see each other a lot better

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in a nonjudgmental way of Hey, this

is just what I need to function.

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And it also creates space of, if

there's a day where he couldn't do

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that, he could clearly communicate.

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Look, I just, it wasn't able

to happen today because this,

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and this, and it's that's cool.

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We know it.

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We're both on the same page.

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We can start new tomorrow.

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So it really could also, one of

the beautiful things of this, it

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gives you a language to talk about

things in a nonjudgmental way.

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Cause if all of it is positive and

all of it is moving us to the place

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that we want to go, it's, we're

just sorting it into categories.

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Sara: that's a wonderful point I had not

thought about is the communication piece.

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because you're so right.

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I think about this conversation

Sara from season one had she was

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talking about Couches with somebody

and she said this expression.

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I'd never heard before which was her couch

Ceiling like her dream couch was somebody

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else's couch floor meaning that was like

their basic throwaway couch But that's

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the same thing is finding again, because

I've learned so much from you about

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communication, how it's so much context

is so much where you're coming from.

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there's so much variability,

so you're right.

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Being able to also communicate.

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This is what my best looks like and

somebody else being like, Oh, my best

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actually looks different than that.

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And then that's a good thing with

relationships, because I think that's one

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of the things I've noticed is that when

we enter into a relationship, we bring

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in all of these, Expectations around

things, around what does cleaning look

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like, what is doing the dishes look like,

what is doing the laundry look like.

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Yeah, and so you're right, this does

have a great communication piece.

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I've had that with my husband before,

where I'm like, why are you only whatever?

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And he's because I thought

that was the expectation.

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And I'm like, Oh, that's

the bare minimum to me.

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And he's Oh, I thought it was maxing out.

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I want to give a wide variety

of examples so listeners can

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start to see how to apply it.

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I was talking with this woman through

a business connection and she also

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has chronic illness and she was asking

me, she's what's your recommendation

275

on how often to change sheets?

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And I said, good, better, best.

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Best?

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everything and wash it.

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for me, I'm a two week gal.

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Some people are one week gal do whatever

feels good to you, but let's just say

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you're going to wash everything every two

weeks, but you've got chronic illness,

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so maybe it's not every two weeks.

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you're washing your top sheet

and your flat sheet, once

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every three or four weeks.

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I'm like, but at the minimum,

just pull off your pillowcase.

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And throw it in the laundry and just

buy a bunch of extra pillowcases.

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Cause that's the part where you're

really getting a lot of stuff.

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the part that you really want to

be like, make sure you're washing.

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But I was telling her and I'm like,

and then when you feel good, wash

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all those pillowcases and reset it.

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Hack.

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I went time heard some moms talking

about how they actually put four fitted

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sheets on their kids, beds, and then

they just pull them off one at a time.

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Lacey: Oh, if my kids weren't

still in the, bedwetting stage,

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I would do that in a heartbeat.

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Absolutely.

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that's literally, if you could have saw

me, my face went wide because that's the

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kind of thing I want to know in life.

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Sara: And all back to, there

is no one way to do things.

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There's no award for doing things

one way you read in a magazine.

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Nobody's getting a prize.

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It's what do you need to get done

to feel good at the end of the day?

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And how are you gonna get there?

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And again, going back to the premise

of this podcast, if we can all

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open up our doors and communicate.

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I only learned about that fitted

sheet hack because I was overhearing

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somebody at a baseball game.

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They were telling their closest friends

and I happened to be an earshot.

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But again, if we just open up our doors.

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And just admit, yeah, I use paper

plates on days where I can't stand

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the thought of having to run two loads

of dishes because I am exhausted.

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can we be honest about that?

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Putting it through those filters

of, this is what I need to do today.

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To get to the end.

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I like that you brought

up when, Isaac was a baby.

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'cause I remember when I was a new

mom and I had very high expectations

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for myself and I quickly, I had to go

to what I called survival days, which

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now I'm realizing would've been good.

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I was like, me and the baby both

eat, if one of us gets a bath or a

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shower, or at least just changes our

clothes, that's all that has to happen.

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when I told myself it was a

survival day, it removed all the

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guilt and shame and expectation.

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I just feel like a huge weight was lifted

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Lacey: You know, it's funny is I loved

those six weeks after, like the first

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six weeks where you're recovering, I

loved those with both of my Children.

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And it's because it is

one time in my life.

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I gave myself to live and

what just needs to be done.

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We lived in three hours spurts of

feeding because I was breastfeeding.

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my main goal in life was to keep this

kid alive, keep us both comfortable and

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happy and to bond as much as possible.

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And so me being able to remove all

of that other stuff and just focus on

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that, I am one of those weird people.

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I could tell you for days how much

I hated pregnancy, but I could

334

also tell you for days how that

newborn stage was magic for me.

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I also just think it's like karma

and the universe being like, look,

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we just killed you for nine months.

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So you celebrate not puking every day now.

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but I did, I loved it.

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And the moment that made it hard again

for me is when I went back to work, that's

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when it was like, Oh, cause then all those

regular expectations came back on me.

341

but I just, when I break it down

into, oh, that is the one time in

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my life that I'm like, yeah, I'm

gonna watch 75 episodes of HDTV.

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This baby's gonna sleep on my chest.

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what's the easiest food

that I can get myself?

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Awesome.

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Cool.

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Sara: Well, that reminds me to tie

this into the buckets of resources.

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When you're a new mom,

you're energy bucket.

349

is not the

350

same.

351

So good, better, best is also

when you look at, what do I

352

have available to draw into?

353

And I tell people if you've got more

money to throw at dinner prep, And

354

you can pay for those, pre prepped

things, or you can pay somebody

355

to come in and prep food for you.

356

You can get to better or best if

you can dip into your money bucket.

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you've got time, you can

dip into that bucket.

358

But if your time, your energy, and

your money buckets are all scraping the

359

bottom, We're going for good people.

360

I was just at a talk I was so honored

to join a mom's group and I was

361

explaining the relationship between

your resource buckets and good better

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best and the looks on their faces of

clarity aha of, oh yeah, of course,

363

like it's a simple, it's simple, but

nobody ever take, I never was sat down

364

and had anyone explain this to me.

365

I had to fight through the

societal expectations of everything

366

should look a certain way.

367

It should be home cooked meals.

368

Everything should be picked up.

369

I worked with a lady who

bleached her floors every night.

370

Like I thought for somehow I

was supposed to be doing that.

371

I had to fight through this

feeling of failure to realize, it's

372

hitting that bottom of the barrel.

373

when I was a new mom of going,

I got nothing left to give.

374

Good enough is good enough because I

can't actually physically do anything else

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Lacey: I also want to say it's

also about permission, right?

376

Because that's something I learned with,

my disability and chronic illness is it,

377

for the first time in my life, gave me

permission to not have to do X, Y, and Z.

378

And I struggled with that

for a really long time.

379

And it's also something that

just now, I'm like, oh, man.

380

Poor chronic illness Lacey.

381

I wish she could have had that

permission because I genuinely think

382

she could have taken over the world.

383

But that permission, I never felt it.

384

Like I literally had to not be

able to move to be able to give

385

myself permission to lower those

standards that were made up.

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Sara: because we, and this is why I

feel so strongly about this podcast is

387

because we're having these conversations.

388

It is made up.

389

They are unspoken societal

expectations that.

390

Once we start talking about them, they

lose their grip and their strength.

391

With my work, when I started working

with people in home consulting, one

392

of the things I noticed right away

was that yearning for permission.

393

And it's I know I don't have any

special magical talent bestowed

394

upon me to give anyone permission.

395

I'm just a fellow human being, but

somehow me giving them permission to

396

not pair up their socks or to not do

a freshly cooked meal every night.

397

Like somehow me giving, yeah, it's okay.

398

that's all they needed to hear.

399

I reached out in the, Joyful Support

Village and I've reached out other

400

places to ask friends, I need to

hear somebody give me permission

401

to, just read a book all day.

402

Because somehow inside of us,

some of us, not all of us, if you

403

don't have this, that's awesome.

404

Lacey: Good for you.

405

Sara: of us have that like

guilt, shame trigger inside of

406

us where we need that permission.

407

So let's go back.

408

I would love to do some

more good, better, best.

409

I want you to name anything and then

I'm going to good, better, best it.

410

And then I'll do the same.

411

I'll give you one and then

you good, better, best of it.

412

Lacey: A birthday celebration.

413

Sara: Oh gosh, this is a great one for me.

414

Sara, participant one, that

is one of her talents, is

415

organizing birthday celebrations.

416

And she loves the theme

and the invitations and the

417

handwriting and the calligraphy

and all the little party gifts.

418

that is one of her zones of genius.

419

It brings her joy.

420

So good, better, best.

421

Yeah.

422

If you have the drive and the mojo

to have a themed and to have the

423

invitations printed and then handwrite

that envelopes, like that would be best.

424

Little step down from that would be maybe

you can get these like parties in a box,

425

like you can go to these different groups

and they'll just send you everything.

426

you're still like doing all

that stuff, but somebody's

427

already put it together for you.

428

And then good enough.

429

Honestly, my son's first birthday party.

430

I knew I couldn't Pinterest it.

431

I was just glad we lived.

432

just said, we're having

a barbecue on this day.

433

Everyone come.

434

I got all the different types

of chips in the grocery store.

435

And that was just like

this weird chip buffet.

436

And I asked a friend to grill

chicken and that was good enough.

437

It was just people at the same place

at the same time packaged food.

438

Boom.

439

I didn't even do invitations.

440

I just like texted people.

441

it was just, it was so basic.

442

Lacey: It met all the

requirements, for sure.

443

Sara: Good, better, best.

444

Okay.

445

I'm in a good, better, best to Lacey.

446

you were talking about laundry.

447

So give me your part of laundry.

448

Lacey: so one of the things we

found out in the Closed Chair

449

episode, is that I only had best.

450

I only had everything gets folded.

451

Everything gets put away.

452

what I've started to do is, good

is everything gets separated.

453

Cause I find when things are

separated into person, we can at least

454

find what we need for each other.

455

I have a potty trained and quote

quotation marks three year old.

456

So the amount of times that I need to

find underwear and shorts for her is.

457

bonkers.

458

So to be able to just separate

hers out to be like, I know that

459

this has only Iris's clothes in

it and I can find those quickly.

460

Great.

461

Wonderful.

462

So I would say that's my good.

463

My better is everything's

separated and folded, right?

464

I'm just trying to get rid of the,

put everything away part of things.

465

So I fold Joe's clothes,

but he has to put them away.

466

I fold Isaac's clothes, but

he has to put them away.

467

I still put away your irises.

468

Honestly, that's good.

469

Best is I fold and hang

anything that needs to be hung.

470

Hanging, for some reason, is

just an extra step that is so

471

much for me, and so that's best.

472

Sara: One of the things on threads

I see people post about a lot.

473

One is, I'm tired of Neil Palin ing,

what are you all cooking for dinner?

474

The other one is laundry.

475

I'm quoting here people saying, I can't

stand the folding and putting away part.

476

And I'm, I go on there all the

time and give people permission.

477

I'm like, then don't.

478

Put everything clean in a big old bucket.

479

Then don't do it.

480

if it's driving you up

a wall, don't do it.

481

Lacey: One of the most amazing things

that I've realized, and I'm gonna start

482

trying to figure this out in my own, in

other places, is Iris has a closet that

483

has a bunch of shelves in the closet.

484

It worked great for her because if we put

it on a lower thing, she can get to it

485

and she's not opening and closing drawers.

486

Guess who isn't always

gets her laundry put away?

487

Iris.

488

Cause all I have to do is

walk over and set it down.

489

I'm not leaning over to open a drawer.

490

I'm not pushing clothes down I'm going to

be exploring this more of how can we use

491

this in a way that works better for me?

492

Another thing that you have said

before, and this has stuck with me

493

is, do you hate the putting it away

because the drawers are too full?

494

And I'm like, yeah, so I've been

trying to keep that in mind.

495

right now I'm in a place where I'm

like, I got to go through these drawers.

496

Sara: a couple of thoughts.

497

first of all, thank you for sharing that.

498

That's going to bring

somebody relief listening.

499

And to piggyback on that,

I was talking with Corey.

500

She was our expert, from in between last

season, So Corey feels comfortable when

501

everything in her house is a certain way.

502

One of her children's room

is not the way she wants it.

503

We talked about just closing the door.

504

We talked about a bunch

of different things.

505

One of the things was the clothes.

506

How the clothes just end up on the floor.

507

So I really narrowed down

where are the clothes supposed

508

to in quotes supposed to go?

509

I always lean into what I

call three quarter bins.

510

So it's not a bin on four sides

It's a bin on three sides and then

511

the front part is angled out and

I said, okay So what if your child

512

just has three quarter bins stacked?

513

And one of the bins is

socks and underwear.

514

One of the bins is shorts.

515

One of the bins is shirts.

516

That way they're off the floor.

517

They're easily accessible.

518

They don't have to open

a drawer or a closet.

519

And she's like, Oh, again, I kind of

just had to give permission to break

520

that paradigm of using a dresser.

521

yeah, when we moved into this

house, they all have, Those bifold

522

closets, so they're very shallow but

523

wide and they all had

shelves already in them.

524

for my son, because he was really

little when we moved in the house,

525

I got those three quarter bins and I

labeled them all and he's responsible

526

for putting his laundry away.

527

He does not put them in

the bin the way I would.

528

But he doesn't care if it's wrinkled.

529

He doesn't care if he has to dig through,

he separates it and just throws them

530

all in his bins and they're clean

and he can get to it and it's easy.

531

exploring that, yeah, that hiccup

point again, going back to just putting

532

it all in a bin, I talked to this

mom in our community, she has Five

533

kids they all do a lot of athletics.

534

So a lot of socks are

happening in the house.

535

And she said, I buy bulk white socks.

536

And when I do the laundry,

all the socks go in a big tub

537

and they're by the front door.

538

No one ever asks me where the socks

539

are.

540

They're always in a big tub.

541

And she's yeah, they're too big

on some and too small on others.

542

She's I don't care.

543

Lacey: See, I hear that and I'm

like, that woman is a badass.

544

I don't judge her.

545

I think she's amazing.

546

Sara: I was glad I had a conversation with

her because she was, she's very calm and

547

I was asking her about all these different

things and she's just doesn't matter.

548

She's like, when I get

stressed out about things.

549

I'm the only one stressed out.

550

yeah, there's always dishes on my counter.

551

She's but we make it work.

552

she showed me it was mindset.

553

And I really took that away.

554

I just, I desperately, I

want this to be like a game.

555

I want people to call in and

tell me their frustration points.

556

And I just like good, better, best it.

557

Like I want this like to be a game show

again, if this helps one person and it's

558

already helped you, and, It helps me, I

have to remember this tool all the time.

559

So if it helps one person listening,

just reframe things, good, better, best,

560

how, what needs to happen, what do I

want to happen and what's the ideal.

561

And there's all different

chapters in our lives.

562

Our job requirements change,

the seasons change, our kids

563

age, like it's not forever.

564

It's just making that

decision for that day.

565

What is the good, better, best look like?

566

And then flex, flex.

567

Lacey: We should probably

do some gratitude.

568

I have a lot.

569

So I'm thinking through it.

570

What do you want?

571

Do you have one?

572

Do you want to go first?

573

Sara: This is so funny.

574

I told my husband this last night.

575

It's going to sound really weird at first.

576

Okay.

577

So I was opening up this gate and the

top of the gate was right below my chin.

578

So towards my face and all of

a sudden there was this noise.

579

it was a beetle.

580

It was not going to hurt me.

581

But it was really loud and it was right

by my face and then it like flew by me.

582

And what I, what made me happy

was that I actually let out

583

a whole spew of expletives.

584

But what I loved about it was

just so Like I just loved that.

585

I didn't try to hold it in.

586

I was so scared for a split second because

I did not know it was flying at my face.

587

And I said all these

ridiculous expletives.

588

Luckily nobody could hear me.

589

but it just felt so pure and unencumbered.

590

that is my 45 year old equivalent of like.

591

When I was in my 20s and I could go to a

dance floor, party, and I could just dance

592

like completely unencumbered, no judgment.

593

Like me swearing at a beetle flying by

my face was that moment of utter freedom.

594

And then I went over and

looked at the beetle where he

595

landed and he was really cute.

596

it was full circle, Good.

597

Lacey: Good.

598

I've never called a beetle cute.

599

So good.

600

Good for you on that one.

601

Sara: I love bugs, that

shouldn't surprise you.

602

Lacey: It doesn't.

603

So mine is, we're in the middle of

some trips and vacations right now.

604

And I want to have a moment of gratitude

for the moment that you reach your

605

destination when you're traveling.

606

So that moment where like, you walk in

and you set your stuff down and you've

607

gotten the hard part of getting there

out of the way and you only have the

608

part joy of possibility moving forward.

609

I just love that feeling.

610

And cause it's like relief and the hope

and everything all wrapped into one.

611

So I'm just, I am grateful

for that feeling so much.

612

Sara: I love that you highlighted

that because I have distinct memories.

613

As a kid, we used to drive to this

beach and it was a seven hour drive

614

and that moment where You open the

car door, and you get your feet out,

615

and you stretch, and you breathe in

the new air, it like smells different.

616

And then you get to stand up, and

you're like, oh, I'm free of the travel

617

part.

618

Lacey: Yes.

619

You got it.

620

You got it.

621

Yeah.

622

I just, that is something

that I've always loved.

623

And we'll just say our latest

trip traveling with a three and a

624

five year old, even though they're

generally really cool, an 11, 12

625

hour drive, not something they enjoy.

626

So you can imagine the

relief when you get there.

627

And you can say, yes, we are here.

628

It added a new level to it that,

yeah, I didn't even recognize before.

629

Sara: That is quite the gauntlet

for the three and a five year old.

630

When they're really little,

it's a lot different.

631

When they get to that age, and they

just want to be moving around, and

632

Lacey: Yes.

633

Sara: time has zero

634

Lacey: Oh, don't like,

don't even get me started.

635

I could go on that.

636

Like one of my things is I posted

this on, on social media of we need

637

to not call it family vacation if

the children are under a certain age.

638

Cause it's a trip.

639

It is not a vacation.

640

It is a family trip.

641

Cause I can tell you right now, a lot

of that did not feel like a vacation.

642

Sara: 100%.

643

That's why one of my big platforms in

life I believe moms should get least

644

twice a year a three day weekend where

they get to go away on their own.

645

Lacey: Absolutely.

646

Sara: a vacation for mom

where she's not a mom.

647

Lacey: yeah.

648

So we are, that's where we are.

649

thanks for teaching us more about

Good, better, best today, Sara.

650

Sara: Thank you for everything, Lacey.