Welcome to no shame in the home game, the podcast that cares how your home feels, not looks.

I am Lacy, your co host and guest today.

Full and double duty here with Sarah, my co host and only host.

Like, she's not doing two things.

Hi, Sarah.

Well, no, I am doing two things.

I'm your co host and I'm also the captain of we want more Joe fan club.

So I'm showing up also as a fan girl.

Welcome, Joe.

Is that too much pressure?

Maybe a little, yeah.

Okay, I'll dial that down.

I'll manage.

The manly voice that you hear is my husband, Joe, because this is our first check in episode of previous season participants.

You heard Joe and I story in season one, and it's been a year and a half since then.

Jeez.

So a year and a half and things are different now?

You could say that.

It'd be easier to say what's the same.

Yeah, that's true.

I'm still sick, but a little different now.

Cause I'm pregnant.

Like sick but different.

Different sick.

Different house, but like, still the same sick.

Yeah, a different house.

Joe has a different job.

We still have two kids, but it's like two and a half.

Cause I am pregnant.

Different ages.

Now Isaac goes to school and it's not just daycare.

Different city.

Different city.

Yeah, we completely moved.

Not very far.

I mean, I'm talking an hour.

Far enough.

How old is Isaac now?

Isaac is fives.

And that's kindergarten.

Kindergarten.

Just a half day kindergarten, which is the vein of my existence.

Yeah, it's.

He would really love full day.

It's what he would prefer.

Yeah, he would love full day.

He really likes school a lot.

He does.

And then Iris is in a full day daycare.

She probably would prefer a half day, but can't handle her all the time.

Cause she likes daycare as well, though.

She has a lot of fun there.

She does.

We unfortunately don't have our dog anymore, Indy, which is very sad.

So it's just people in our house now.

I'd say in general, I am doing better.

I would say my energy levels are a little bit more consistent.

I'm less bed bound.

But pregnancy has added a new level of.

What's the word I'm looking for?

Unknown.

What am I gonna be today?

Am I thrown up this morning?

Probably, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And Joe, his job is now much more family friendly and flexible.

Yes.

At our hours, more consistent hours, much faster drive from work and home.

So that's exciting.

Well, and also exciting recent news.

You're coming off of a how many day power outage?

Five day power outage.

Five is a kicker.

That was rough.

It was very rough.

All of the perishable food is gone.

All of it had to get pitched.

Everything, freezer, refrigerator.

I had some stuff that was stored with some ice and it all just went melted.

And no power to cook anything.

When we realized the power was out and we were like, oh, yeah, it'll be on, you know, tonight or tomorrow morning and it'll be fine, you know, we'll leave the refrigerators closed, we won't open them.

And then one day turned into two, turned three, and eventually five.

So with certainly interesting hot water, nothing to cook with, no stove, oven, microwave.

And I don't know if you know this, but I.

Small children around candles is a problem.

And like, I knew that, but I know it now.

They are, they are moths to that flame and will not leave them the f alone.

I don't blame them.

I know it's candles.

Candles are I.

Candles are great, but.

Stop moving the effing candles around.

Five day power outage, zero out of ten.

Do not recommend.

Wouldn't that be funny?

Do like a Yelp review of power abs.

Hardest thing for us is they did not give us any ETA.

They wouldn't give anybody specific ETA.

So you couldn't plan.

If I knew we were going to be out of power for five days and I could plan for that, if I would have maybe taken some of our food to my parents house, I would have maybe even like, rearranged our schedule with something.

Even got in a hotel one night because we knew, you know, it would be easy.

That kind of stuff that it was always a big old question mark.

It could literally turn on at any moment, or it could be four more days.

You all have been adapting a lot in this past twelve months.

Just been over here, do this.

Try this.

I've earned my chaos friend name.

I feel it.

I just feel like every time I talk to Sarah or anybody, I'm like, well, this is happening right now.

Pregnancy is very unexpected.

As I've talked about before, it does a lot of stuff for us.

Like the room that we're recording this in.

I planned and made my office.

Cause we didn't think we were gonna have another human being in this house.

Yeah, but I mean, we've got, oh, at least a year until we have.

That's part of the nice thing about being third time parents is like, my mom was like, do you want something for the baby?

I'm like, eventually.

I'm not worried about.

I remember I had these friends I worked with, and they were of an older generation, and they were like, back in our day, when you had a baby, you wrapped them in an old t shirt and you stuck them in a drawer.

By the time you to the third, you get it.

You're like, oh, yeah, you don't need all these things that they sell.

You'll be just fine.

You don't need a perfectly curated space that's all up in your business anyway.

I do love that newborn stage, though.

I'm one of those weird people that I thrive in those first few months, and I love it, love it, love it.

So I'm excited about that.

So I was looking over our notes from when we meth the first time.

None of this is probably going to apply.

Cause different house, different everything.

But we did talk about toy room maintenance.

Where's the toy area?

Somehow exactly the same as before.

Oh, interesting.

It does have its own room on the first floor.

And it started out organized.

I think it never started truly organized.

Everything had a place before we got that toy table.

That floor stayed clean often.

Now, to be fair, I was cleaning.

That floor stayed clean even with them playing in there.

They'll say, our kids, because it's not in the main area.

If you remember, in our previous house, the toy, quote unquote room was next to, like, it really was the same room of our living room.

So the kids would play with the toys, but now that they're two different spaces, they don't go.

It is a beef of mine, honestly.

At this point, it just become where we put toys.

Yeah, I mean, we gotten to a place where we're back to where we were before, and things were okay, and they've slowly progressed to too many toys in the space.

So we need to do probably a 50% call of toys and then also organize the art supplies, because that's a mess, too.

But I will say, we know what to do this time.

That's true.

Haven't.

To be fair, things keep coming up every time.

We're like, hey, we'll have some free time.

And it's like, nope.

You know, there's an unexpected pregnancy and all of the complications with that.

Here's a power outage.

When you just thought, oh, there's gonna be a storm tonight.

Even though we haven't had rain in, like, a month and a half, and all the trees are gonna be basically blowing sideways and touching the ground.

Some of them may fall over completely.

Luckily, we missed out on that.

So it wouldn't have been funny if you just hang before your kids got home, you just wave 50% of the toys and they're like, where'd they go?

And you're like, that's warm.

It was crazy.

Honestly, Isaac, they must talk about it at school as a hurricane.

Cause I feel like we could have gotten away with that.

Like that daggone hurricane, man.

Yeah, he keeps calling it a hurricane.

It took away 50% of your toys.

It was the weirdest thing.

You kind of got there before I did.

I was going to say that room basically is a storage room because kids, as much as we try to put them in the basement or another room, they want to be where the action is.

They feel the energy, and they want to be in the heart of the house.

So, yeah, just, again, having that routine of putting this stuff back before they go back to bed and making sure I do want to go back to.

I'm just very curious.

When Jo said it was basically organized and you, lacy, were like, eh, no, I really am curious how you two are seeing that differently.

Can I.

Well, I can tell you that I know it was organized.

Cause I was cleaning it, like, almost every night.

So I think organized, to me, means that there is a specific place for everything.

Organized to Joe, means I can put stuff in places.

I mean, and it's not on the ground.

I'm not disagreeing with you.

However, there was a place for everything because that was how I kept it maintained.

That was how I continued to clean.

It was.

I put things back where they belonged.

And it started to devolve when it got to the point where it became easier just to put it into any container as opposed to the specific container.

And that's when the breakdown happened, was over time, they kept, they would take containers and just dump them out and then mix up the toys, and I would spend time separating them.

And eventually I got to the point where I was like, I'm done separating.

I'm just going to throw it into a bin now.

I kept some things separate, like the large legos and the hot wheels, that kind of.

But all the miscellaneous toys just talked together.

There are some things that we have done a decent job.

So, like gloves, Legos.

He is a fantastic Lego builder.

Oh, yeah.

And there's actually a Lego store not far from our house now.

Got some of those bags from that you've seen where you can spread the Legos out on it, and then it's on the bag, and then you take the bag and you pour the stuff into the storage bag, and it's all in one thing.

And that has worked in containing Legos.

But the problem is, and this is the part that I think is the funniest, he doesn't play with them in the toy room because the toy room will have so much stuff on the floor.

Slash it is like a thoroughfare.

Like, you walk through it to get to places.

We've been doing it in the living room, between our kitchen or the dining room table and a living area.

And then it's just set out because it hasn't been.

But at least with that bag, it's easy.

If you decided you needed that space, it's easy to pick it up.

Yeah, it's very self contained.

Yeah.

If there were Lego.

Well, there are Legos everywhere.

Cause that's a different.

Children are.

Yeah.

You can see where kit has been by just the trail of toys around the house.

They are not usually, like, in giant masses.

You know what I mean?

Like, I have people really struggle with.

The Lego management when those are in places.

It's usually not on the floor unless it's contained within one of those containers or out on the part of the container that comes out of it.

But other than that, there's not really Legos on the floor.

So that is a positive.

All the legos are up on a desk or end tool or something like.

That I think we had talked about in the old house.

Are the kids part of the pickup routine either before dinner or after dinner, before bed with toys?

No, but I'm like, oh.

Because there are some things that go with and use them in different places.

So, um, well, trash night has become a big deal in our house, where our trash pickup is on Monday.

So Sunday nights, they.

We have a system where the kids and I come upstairs, we take care of all the trash cans upstairs, then they come down and they help Joe with the first floor, and then they all take it up, and it's, like, successful, and it's one of our biggest wins.

I'm Hitler proud of it doesn't always happen, but typically, Joe doesn't have to be the sole person collecting trash at night.

But it's.

They've been great.

Get really excited.

They get upset if I do it by myself.

Yeah.

Do not empty iris trash can do it.

And if you do it, she will be on the ground.

Yeah, very.

Go put more trash back in her trash can so she can empty it.

Actually done that.

I've done that too.

Yeah, that's a good problem.

That's a good problem.

Debbie, another big win that I feel like we've had recently is we use the change in schedule for Isaac as a way to make chores part of his day to day.

So he gets up, he eats breakfast, and he has to do a chore, because before he can do, like, anything else.

And then when he comes home, he can have a snack, and then he has to do a chore before he can do anything else.

So mostly manifested as emptying the dishwasher, which I don't know if you remember, dishes were a thing that came up a lot, but it is a little help.

Oh, it's a big help that is getting done.

We also are still working on getting him dishes is good because it's a very contained thing.

He knows what's expected of him.

He knows where things go.

He is a machine and we have to help him with the upper stuff that he does this overall by himself.

He gives you directions of when you can put things away and how.

That's a fun thing where it's like, do you know who put these here the first time?

I did, but.

Okay.

Thank you.

There are things, like, really want to get him better at.

And this kind of goes back to the room of feeling comfortable, resetting his face.

So we've done it a couple times in the family room, and he's kind of.

It just seems like such a big task, an overwhelming job for him, that it's a little harder to jump in and do, like, we did his bedroom the other day, and when I tell you that kid was proud of himself, he was like, I can't wait for daddy and Iris to see it.

And then they did have a big reaction, genuinely, Iris was like, cleaned up in here, so.

And he's kept clean, too.

He has kept.

They're huge.

That's so great.

And how do you okay with starting these chores?

Or was there a little bit of pushback?

So part of him staying home and not going to, like, before and after school care is, I told him, you're going to have to pull your weight around the house if you're going to be home.

You're going to have to do something.

It's not just going to be watching tv all the time.

Has it turned into more watching tv all the time?

It has at this point, but that's fine.

He's still doing the chores.

Going into it.

Knew that that was a nextation, that he wasn't going to be able to just do whatever he wanted.

The whole time.

The other thing that I did is I created a sheet that had the pictures of our day, and his tour was part of our day, and so he would check it off, and I would say he religiously checked things off for, like, almost months.

Oh, yeah.

And now it's such a routine that we don't have to check things off.

I will say, though, he struggles with certain tasks because he gets overwhelmed.

And so, like, cleaning the family room, it's a relatively easy task, even with us offering to be like, hey, let's just get this done real fast.

And he'll just, you know, like, it's too much.

I don't know how to do it.

It's too hard.

And it's like, I see maybe ten things on the ground total, including, like, little toys.

That's all you gotta do is pick it up, put it where it belongs, make sure to, like, get any dishes or whatever out.

And he will.

And it's way less time than doing the dishes, but he'll completely and utterly overwhelmed by that task and basically won't hear anything you have to say about.

But it's really easy.

I'll help you.

And he just shuts down.

Now, we have gotten him to a place where he does eventually do it, but just his initial reaction is, that's too much.

That's too hard.

And I think it's like you were saying, it's infinite of a task as the dishes, where the dishes is very clear.

It's almost like a mathematical equation.

It's do this, then this, and then you're done.

That's it.

But sometimes there's like a see anything?

And I'm like, well, what about that over there?

And he's like, oh, okay, fine.

Or, you know, I'm like, well, can you take that cup and go put it in the sink?

He's like, but it's not.

I don't have to.

And it's like, just to do what I tell you.

It'll be done in, like, a minute or two.

We'll get it done fast, but just something about it.

Can I offer an idea?

Sarah's actually already offered an idea.

I just haven't done it yet.

But I'm not going to ruin it.

I'm going to tie it all together.

And also, then the audience can hear.

So, yes, jo, you already it on the head with the dishwasher, which is.

It's very defined.

The silverware drawer is very defined.

The cup cabinet is very defined.

The living room is an entire room.

And so instead of putting things where they belong.

You're more pulling things out that don't belong.

And I can see how to a five year old, it's just like.

I mean, imagine dropping somebody in Tokyo, and you're like, okay, go find a gallon of milk.

And you're like, I don't even.

It's not impossible.

But you're like, no, this is too much.

So with you were talking about how you had your sheet for the day of all the different chores.

You could make a sheet for the living room, and it's like, step one.

Look for silverware, cups and plates.

Goes to the kitchen.

Right?

And then, like, step two can be like, are there any shoes or any laundry on the floor?

Take those to a basket, and then, like, step three.

And that way, you're not telling him to clean the living room.

You're telling him, okay, on step one.

Right.

So taking a big chore of the living room and then giving them, like, such finite tasks.

Cause, yeah, I can see, like you said, how excited he was when his room was clean.

Like, he wants to do it, and it's like, desire to please you and fulfill the task.

And then the conflictingness of the confusion and the lack of sort of, like, I don't know what to do, and it just shuts down.

Right.

So I would say, just keep making it smaller and smaller.

And maybe you stand there and say, I see three dishes that need to go to the kitchen.

Can you find them?

Right.

Helping him that way.

Do you have any ideas how to incorporate that?

Well, yes, but one other thing that you had mentioned previously was taking a picture of it when it is in the reset, like, the state that we want it, and then using that as a resource for him to be able to reference what doesn't belong.

And I think if we could treat it almost like what's different in these two pictures, he might not, too.

Yeah.

The idea of the known as this step two is that I think he'll really respond to that.

I do, too.

And I think you can do both.

So I think he can have.

That's what I was just about to say, is the idea of the picture, too.

So that way he has some idea of what he's like.

The goal is.

Well, and what I'm thinking is, those steps can be used in any room.

Right.

We only need to make that sheet one.

And it can be, you know, find dishes, find laundry, find things that go in here and find things that go somewhere else.

Let's do.

I mean, this is just such a natural plug for home management.

For kids, it is about clearly communicating the expectations and also being clear.

I have a thing about when people tell their kids to go clean room, and I'm like, that's very ambiguous.

That means a hundred things to 100 different people.

But, yes, if you tell somebody, pick up what doesn't belong, pick up the dishes, pick up the trash, pick up the laundry, pick up the books, you know, that process things.

If you pick up, and then when they're a little older, you get to explain, okay, now that it's picked up, how do you actually clean?

And so them knowing those are two different steps, I think is really important and will help them in the long run too.

Yeah, yeah.

Is Iris on this train at all with chores or she's just being her irish self?

She likes to be involved.

She likes to be given a task.

She likes to, you know, execute on something.

She likes to police other people.

She loves to police other people.

Also struggles with some of the tasks.

And I think she, I mean, she's three, so, you know, we don't.

Super high expectations, but I also think we let her go a little bit.

Cause it's just we're, like, right now to get it done.

When Chloe, some things she does automatically, and they both do, they take their plates to throw away what is on their plate at the end of a meal, and then take their plate to the sink.

Yep.

And I'm always very, that is something that I'm so glad that they're in the habit of.

But she does it.

They're meant to be frisbees, but to Iris, they are.

Yeah.

She'll sink and wind up and just absolutely trap to the sail.

They're plastic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's still like, did you disc as bad as hard as possible into the sink?

She loves that.

Yes, she does.

So she put it in her shoes where they belong.

Yes.

And putting the hanging up, whatever stuff that they have, she does a pretty good job of laundering to a basket.

Yeah.

She's really putting dirty laundry away.

Yeah.

Started helping put her laundry away.

That has become one of Isaac's things that he has to do.

I fold his laundry and he puts it away.

Yeah.

And she helps.

He loves to help.

She loves to help.

What he can reach.

She loves to help.

I think something we could do better is on weekends, so as that schedule.

Right.

If I have to do this, I think we should be better about saying, okay, we've eaten breakfast, let's do a chore, and we all do it together.

The weekends are really the only unscheduled time that we have.

And I think that they both struggle with that sometimes.

I mean, they appreciate the freedom, but they need a little bit more structure.

Not that we have to lay out the whole day or anything, but I do think there should be.

Okay, it's the 20 minutes clean time, or however we want to set it up of, like, oh, now that you've had breakfast, we're going to do this.

But we also need to be careful, too, because weekend mornings are the only, we really get where the kids are, like, doing their own thing and you're not, you know, falling asleep.

Yeah.

They get up and they get their tablets and they get their own breakfast.

It's the morning thing.

I'm like, so let's.

Let's be careful what we're assigning, you know?

Cause certainly want to lose that, that time that we get, that brief time that we get together.

I will say that is another thing that we built into moving into this new house is there is a cabinet that has snacks.

Oh, yeah.

It has breakfast items for them that they can always go to and get themselves.

So, like Isaac, a snack to school.

He packs his own backpack with his snack, iris for breakfast in the morning.

Yep.

After school.

So we do.

That is something.

Another thing that I'm very like, I really don't think we would have thought of without going through the first season.

Oh, completely agree.

It's very accessible to them.

And snacks that we've all agreed upon, they're easy for us to keep stocked.

Nutrigrain bars.

Nutrigrain bars, fruit pouches, little mini muffins, and, I guess, granola bars.

And then, of course, his stuff that he takes for his school.

Fish.

Yeah.

And they've gotten.

That is awkward.

They've even gotten to the point where Isaac can open pretty much every single one by himself.

So they're being completely self sufficient with it, too, which is very nice that they don't have to.

And great, great timing with the newbie, with the new third one coming along.

And they can pack like you're knocking their snacks.

You're not.

I mean, that's, that's amazing.

Yeah.

Mornings, mornings have gotten a lot easier.

Like, significantly easier.

Especially because now that we are, now that I'm only taking one of them to school, I only have to get one of them out the door.

But Isaac still gets up at the same time.

And because he's excited for school, he's really motivated in the mornings.

So he actually helps get Iris ready by, like, he'll go in and the two of them will just hang out.

This morning, there's a song that, the wake up song.

And he went into her room and turned it on himself.

And I'm just laughing cause he's annoying the crap out of her.

Cause he's me where he wakes up and he's ready to go, whereas Iris is Joe, where it's like, leave me alone for a while.

And so it's just so funny that he's like, wake up.

Come on, everybody, wake up.

And it's amazing.

I love that.

That is so cute on so many levels.

Going back to the snacks, that was a good segue into the other thing we worked on when we met in season one was food, dinners, prep, planning, all of those things.

How has that been, like in the new house?

How was, like, any wins that have carried over, any struggles that you want to talk about?

It's so much better now.

I mean, we still struggle a little bit, especially when the power's out and we're trying to figure out what to get for food, but also not have leftovers, but also mix it up and keep everyone happy and try not to use dishes.

So I took a lot of the ten steps to meal prep, of course, and kind of adapted it to us.

As you know, I don't like having a set meal plane that seems too restricting to me.

Well, so what we have, we essentially, every week, we'll get chicken.

Well, okay.

No, I got mostly.

I got one.

So lace doesn't really love structured dinner plans of, like, we're gonna eat this on this day.

We're gonna have this available.

And so we've gotten to, well, first of all, we got the was it boost membership through Kroger, which is a huge deal, because it was on discount, first of all, and we've already saved more than we spent on the discount.

But what they offer is free delivery of your groceries to your house, and it's next day guarantee guaranteed.

So when we want groceries, first of all, grocery shopping, as much as I love it, I do not have time for that.

So I just, I dont go to the grocery store anymore.

And we also dont go to pickup.

They now deliver them to our door, which is fantastic, because basically, instead of trying to buy two weeks worth of groceries and guessing at everything youre going to need, we started buying anywhere from, like, three to seven days worth of groceries.

And so its a lot easier, as opposed to trying to guess at everything youre going to need and plan for, like, smaller timeframes where, like, wouldn't it be nice if.

And one of the other things I've started doing is, first of all, with your pregnancy, dinners are difficult.

The thought of food is still something I struggle with.

So having to think about, I can't even do it, like, what to eat and, like, the stuff to go into it.

My stomach is literally starting to turn.

Talking about, well, and we have to be really careful about what you eat because of the diabetes, but essentially, it's gestational diabetes.

And so it has been difficult.

Um, but one thing I do was I came up with a decently large list of diabetic, diabetic friendly dinners, and basie sent them to you.

And what we think you're in the mood for this week.

And so you would just highlight a handful of things off the list that didn't make you feel sick thinking about them, and then we would plan for those.

But now we've kind of gotten to a point where I'm starting to get stuff that can be split into multiple different options.

So, for example, when we get the chicken, we have the option for baked chicken with salad or a baked chicken with veggies, or we turn the chicken into, like, an asian style sauce with rice or chicken wraps with, like, a caesar dressing.

Uh, and so basically, we get this stuff to have all of those as options without.

And by that, I mean the non perishables, basically.

So that way, we're not, like, burning a bunch of perishables, but it's giving us the option to turn something into, like, two or three different things, and then whatever we're in the mood for.

Great.

So, like, ground beef?

Ground beef could be chili or meatloaf or tacos or taco salad.

And so we kind of, you know, like, beef, lettuce, tomatoes, fruits, veggies, all that kind of stuff is great.

And we just buy it, and then we kind of use through it.

And as we go, it's like, what are you in the mood for this?

Or you're like, I don't want to pick.

And I'm like, okay, fine.

I feel like making this tonight.

And sometimes it's like last night where I was like, we're going to have breakfast for dinner.

Thank you.

To be honest, the dinner thing is, you know, with, with the free delivery without us having to worry about, like, going and trying to guess at, like, two weeks worth of groceries and them being like, hey, if we just want to find enough food for, like, two or three days, we can do that.

It's free delivery.

We're not spending any extra money on it.

So.

And with my chronic illness, remember, it's all those little things that add up.

And so even though it was pick, we would do pickup, that was still me having to get in a car.

And so right there, that's already, you know, a little bit more.

I have to go at a certain time, so if I'm not feeling good at that time, it's a problem, you know, all those different things.

And so delivery has eliminated those barriers, and so that's also been a big part of it.

Absolutely, yeah.

And two, for people listening who want to apply some of this to their own lives.

And I learned this from Sarah from season one about she had this time in her life wherever I.

Oh, my gosh.

Ten things were going sideways, and she was like, I can't even think about a day's worth of meals.

She's like, sometimes I go, and I am only buying one meal at the grocery store.

Cause she was running to so many appointments and errands.

Getting to the grocery store wasn't a problem.

But she's like, I just don't have the bandwidth.

And so if you ever are thinking about meal planning and you're just, like, shutting down, like Joe said, you're not trying to plan for two weeks anymore.

Like, okay, what's the next five to seven days?

And so just.

And I've even found for myself, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm like, well, how about if I just plan for today and tomorrow?

Like, just pick two meals?

And so I love that that's been success for you.

One of the things from when we talked in season one, Jo, was you were talking about how you would drive home, and then you immediately had to start making dinner, and you felt like there was kind of no decompress time for yourself.

Is it still feeling like that, or is your drive shorter and you've got time?

How's that going?

I mean, there's still a little bit of that going on, but I don't have the same feelings anymore.

I mean, my job is significantly less stress.

The drive is half of what I was doing before.

It just depends.

But, yeah, it's about half the drive.

Way less stress.

We've been able to free up a little more time for me to be able to do some outside activities, which is nice.

It's still a struggle because with the uncertainty of Lace's chronic illness and now the pregnancy, it's like, how is she going to feel in 2 hours?

And it's like, good luck trying to figure that out.

So sometimes we have to try and plan for an additional body to be here to help with the kids.

But I've been able to basically, like, play D and D without feeling, like, super guilty every once in a while, it'll be like, okay, lace isn't doing well.

I'll have to remote in, but I still get to play.

So, you know, that part of it has all been nice.

It's, you know, realistically, we're still looking at the same.

Like, I'm kind of, like, on the clock as soon as I walk through the door, but it doesn't feel the same as it used to.

It helps that the kids are a little bit older, a little more self sufficient, just the snack thing alone where they can go, and they're like, okay, it's time.

You can go have your snack.

And they're like, okay.

And I don't have to go to a cabinet and search through it and be like, what about this?

What about this?

Will you eat this?

And they're like, yeah.

And then I hand it to them, like, I don't want that.

All of that's gone.

And so, you know, there's.

There's a lot of little things that we've kind of gotten in the habit of things that we've fixed over time that have just made all of that a much easier process.

Plus, you know, the.

The way we've been doing dinners has been a lot easier.

And so it's just, you know, it is still kind of the same where I do somewhat feel on the clock until the kids are basically completely asleep.

But it doesn't feel as stressful, it doesn't feel as difficult as it used to.

That's great.

I'm hearing a lot of wins.

I mean, a combination of things that you learned, but also just a combination of the new job, the different kids getting older.

Is there anything that you want to troubleshoot or anything that is a thorn in your side a little bit that you wanna.

I mean, the toy room is a problem, but we've got a plan for that one, so I think we're good, because, to be fair, it's a lot of the same plan that we came up with last time.

We just need to execute on it this time.

And we did somewhat executed on it when we moved because we got rid of a lot of toys.

But, of course, stuff has come in since then, and more stuffies have been added, and people are like, oh, do you want this?

And they're like, okay, great.

The kids will love that.

And it's like, okay, well, now we have to find a place to shove that.

So that has built up over.

But we did get that to replace when we had moved.

We just need to get back there.

What about out?

So I can't do outdoor stuff.

That's too much for me.

So Joe has to do it.

Well.

So I'm just asking, like, is that something we should think about?

I mean, it would be nice, but what the hell is that aside from paying like a landscaper?

Well, okay, now that's a good point.

So I don't feel like I have enough time to do yard stuff, so.

Yeah, that's a good point.

And we do have a lot more yard.

We have way more yard now.

We have a corner lot.

So it's like, hey, everyone in the entire neighborhood, look at how terrible our yard looks.

So everyone sees our yard and sees our beautiful solar panels that we now have.

But, yes, yard work is a struggle because I don't feel like I ever have free time for it.

And it's always a negotiation when I do finally get it.

And then sometimes it's like, nope, got to stop what you're doing and come back in for the kids.

And it's like, man, it would be really nice to just, like, have the freedom to be like, you know, I'm going to go do yard work now, as opposed to, okay, let's.

Let's plan for this.

Let's schedule this.

After this time, I'm going to do this, and then I'll come back and check, and then I'll go and do this.

And it's just.

It makes it difficult for me to go and do it.

It gets done.

But that is a struggle.

And what all.

What all needs to be.

Oh, God, everything.

No, no, no.

Let's break it down.

Break it down into categories.

So, mowing is one.

Uh, well, it's two different kinds of mowing.

It's mowing the front and the back.

But one is a riding mower.

One's a push mower, because I can't fit the riding mower through the gate in the backyard.

To be clear, I will still have to use the push mower in the backyard because of how narrow some of the confined spaces are.

Like, I could get in that circle probably without the mower, but I couldn't get any of the rest of the yard because the turret is way too large.

So.

So that's okay.

That's not really worth the time, save.

That it would potentially what needs to be done.

So mowing it front and back edging is something that I only rarely get to.

And there's one section I don't think I've ever edged which is problematic.

Weeding is the number one, largest, most difficult thing that still needs to be done in large areas.

I think, realistically, a lot of that, the fixes for that, in my opinion, are calling in help, whether it's paid or unpaid labor.

As well as changing some of our landscaping.

Well, some of the landscaping we would love to change.

Well, okay.

So to clear the people that had the house before us, I think the husband was retired.

Right.

One of them was retired.

Cause remember, she was just retiring.

Yeah.

And I think he was already retired.

Anyway.

They clearly spent a long time on the yard.

I.

Every single week.

And it's like, well, I have the timer capacity for that.

And so there are a lot of parts of the yard that I've been attempting to maintain the way they were before, and it's just simply too much.

I can't and nor do I want to.

I mean, we don't even like the way some of it looks.

So that's part of the problem is.

But then the effort to go like.

So we're on a corner lot, and there's this, like, corner flower bed that has stuff that it makes it hard to see around the corner.

It drives me bananas.

It's big, too.

But then it's like, well, how do we get it down?

What are we to do instead?

And so because we've been in our house, like, literally a year this week.

Yeah.

I mean, that flower bed has more square footage than a king size bed.

So it's not a little wall.

It's a big boy.

I think the problem with the yard is that it is a mix of one off things and maintenance.

Yeah.

And the only thing we tend to be able to make time for is the maintenance of, like, yard being mowed.

Yeah.

And to be fair, I don't necessarily have all the tools.

So I just want to be very clear.

I don't care about yard stuff.

Same.

So that's a couple of different lenses to put this through.

The first lens is like, yeah, the yard is not a priority for you.

The people who own the house before were retired.

Tons of time.

They spend it all out there.

Yes.

You have two little kids, one more on the way.

Thats where your time is going.

And then just maintaining what is.

And ive and I do have an idea about the weeds.

And then the next step, tapping into those people in your life who do know a little bit more and then having a plan of making it closer to zero.

Well, not zero maintenance.

It's never going to be zero.

But you can put things in that are going to be easier to maintain and then choosing once a year where you're going to apply to and then tapping into your friends and family saying, we'll feed you if you come over and help us do this project.

And a lot of people, if you want to dig some of that stuff up, a lot of people will be happy to take it.

I am such a fan of perennial grasses, like decorative grasses, because they give you something to look at that are visual, they don't need water and you don't have to do anything, you know, like fountain grasses because a lot of.

Those perennials, yeah, yeah.

A lot of those perennials you have to prune, you have to maintain them.

They start to grow too big and then you got to split them.

So, yeah, if, you know, do you have somebody in your life who's a.

Well, to no one's surprise, Bob and Carolyn, Carolyn used to do all of their wendy's landscape and they have to say they have, they've just shown up sometimes and been like, we're going to pressure wash the front and the back.

Okay.

Joe's parents have shown up and been like, okay, we're going to weed these beds.

Okay, great.

So, I mean, we do have occasionally.

Help there, but what we have is.

Beyond that, is beyond the ability of that.

Yeah, yeah.

Bob and Carolyn, that's a great thing of the wendy's.

They wanted it to be curb appealing, minimal input.

So they would probably have a lot of ideas.

No, my minimal input and Carolyn's minimal input are a little different.

Yeah.

And this is something obviously we've been talking about for a while.

But I do think we're to a place where we recognize that we need to reduce the amount of stuff that requires care.

And that may simplify things because if youve got, lets say, 200 cubic feet of flower garden, if you can cut that to 100 cubic feet or flower garden, its way more manageable than 200 cubic feet.

And so I think that we have some flower beds that weve already decided that we dont like the way that the things look in there.

They're, you know, just, it's stuff that doesn't.

And so, you know, we're to a place where we need to change what is in there.

For example, ripping.

We need to make decisions.

I think that's really where we're, we.

Need to make decisions, but we also, we also need to find a way to execute on what we've decided.

Well, okay.

So for example, my mom may have said, hey, while you guys are gone in Europe, can you make a wish list of things you would like done around your house?

Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah.

I haven't said it yet because I feel guilty about it.

Cause they're already watching our children.

But to be fair, I wish I had a week or two where I could just stay around the house and take care of.

And so that's what I think as we're sitting here talking.

We just need to define.

I think if we could define this, I think that's part of the problem, is we don't know what to do in some of those spaces.

And if we were able to say, this is what we want, I do think we could get the help to get it done.

We have some people in our community who are building a house very close to where I live, and they bought a lot, and then they cleared it.

And I was talking to the dad, and they're moving from a house.

They've got three kids.

They need a little bit more space.

And he goes, oh, we're not doing landscaping.

He's like, we're not doing a yard.

He goes, I want to be doing stuff on the weekend.

He's like, I'm so tired of taking care of the yard.

And I was like, oh, my gosh.

That's a choice.

I was like, can't even think about that.

And I let half of my front yard go to wildflowers because I was just like, I don't want to be gnawing all of this.

This takes over an hour as it is, so I do hear you.

It's a huge input, and I would say break it down.

Like, pick one flower bed.

Okay.

Let's just get rid of this one flower bed this year, however that may look.

And then.

But I know it's a huge endeavor, but lean into Bob and Carolyn, man.

It's like, you got the magic.

They helped us this weekend.

I just.

I think I'm feeling so grateful.

Yeah.

We stayed there one night when our power was out.

Yeah.

They fed us, took, made our kids, had our kids play and stuff.

It was just nice.

Oh, I had an idea about the waiting, and this actually loops back into the chores idea, and it ties in nicely with the weekend.

So going into that visual, kids like to know what's going on, and sometimes when you say it all, it just becomes, wah, wah, wah.

But if you had and just hand drew it or whatever, had six or eight quadrants of different things that could be done on the weekends, each one takes 20 minutes, or you would only do it for 20 minutes.

And maybe one of the weekend things is the kids go out with you and for 20 minutes they pull weeds.

And you could give them a certain size, like a sand pail or something.

And, I mean, you can incentivize them, like, fifty cents a sand pail or something, and just teach them what a weed looks like and how to pull it.

Is it going to be great?

No, but they'll eventually get better, and that might just wait.

Why are you too?

I don't know if he knows.

So Joe is, he'll walk by a bed and pull a weed.

And I've seen Iris start to do it, so I'm like, iris would be on board.

But as she explained something like that, if that's a weed, I mean, at.

This point, who cares?

Who cares?

Let her pull it.

Yeah.

The kids helping is a very good idea.

And honestly, popsicles is all it would take.

Just, you know, we'll give you a popsicle if you do this.

And they would gladly go out and help.

But I do worry about them being able to get at some of the weeds.

Cause they're, you know, maybe we should.

Buy them little gardening gloves.

Yeah.

Herbs.

I just use my hands mostly.

And you could teach them, too.

I don't know what kind of you have going on right now, but if there's a very specific weed, you can, like, point to it and tell them to pull.

Like, there's ones that pull up really easily.

Just tell them to go for those.

Or you can give them a defined area and say, pull up anything green in this specific area and use a hula hoop or something.

Put it down and say, okay, inside.

Of this, pull everything, or just pull up everything you see in front of you.

But, I mean, you'll be right there with them, helping them, and they'll take ownership, and they'll love that.

But, yeah, you could come up with other 20 minutes or 15 minutes chore idea just done on the weekend.

They're not a daily thing.

Yeah, I feel like, I feel like we covered a lot of ground with you two today.

Sounds like things are going pretty well.

Yeah, I mean, I think as we were talking, the more like, I don't feel as stressed about our house.

It sounds like Jo's not as stressed about our house.

And so it's just one of those where it's just like, this really works.

And we've been maintaining it for a year now.

Yeah, that's great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I'm so glad we got to follow up and hear how things are going.

And I'm just.

I'm so excited, so excited to see where you're going to stick this third baby into a corner, into a basket, and here.

Gown proofs.

It's not really more of, like, a nook.

Yeah, because there's no door.

That's.

No, but I do have a curtain rod.

What does it say?

Just put a curtain.

Oh, I already have it all.

I just need a.

That would be so nice.

Just like a little sleeping nook.

I love that.

Well, I think it would just be for a while.

The changing table clothes, baby supplies will go here, and then over time, probably combine with iris as far as room wise.

Cause it's a girl.

So Q said you've been through this rodeo.

You know what to expect.

I mean, and you can kind of modulate your expectations to reality.

Like, he just enter that chill zone, which is where I feel you are right now.

Oh.

And that's why I do so that during the newborn phase, because your objectives are so clear of every 3 hours, we feed you, you sleep, we cuddle next 3 hours.

And so I really get it.

I was like, well, thank you for sharing your story with our audience.

It's very hard, as you know.

Well, okay.

I'm directing more at Joe.

Joe, thank you for showing up and sharing your story.

You are.

It will definitely help somebody listening today.

Good.

Well, thank you, Sarah.

Thank you, ladies.