Lacy 00:00:05

Welcome to no shame in the home game, the podcast that cares how your home feels, not looks.

Lacy 00:00:09

I am Lacy, your co host and guest today.

Lacy 00:00:13

Full and double duty here with Sarah, my co host and only host.

Lacy 00:00:21

Like, she's not doing two things.

Lacy 00:00:23

Hi, Sarah.

Sarah 00:00:24

Well, no, I am doing two things.

Sarah 00:00:26

I'm your co host and I'm also the captain of we want more Joe fan club.

Sarah 00:00:32

So I'm showing up also as a fan girl.

Sarah 00:00:36

Welcome, Joe.

Sarah 00:00:37

Is that too much pressure?

Joe 00:00:38

Maybe a little, yeah.

Sarah 00:00:40

Okay, I'll dial that down.

Joe 00:00:41

I'll manage.

Lacy 00:00:42

The manly voice that you hear is my husband, Joe, because this is our first check in episode of previous season participants.

Lacy 00:00:52

You heard Joe and I story in season one, and it's been a year and a half since then.

Joe 00:00:59

Jeez.

Sarah 00:01:01

Our first episode was the 21 May in 2023.

Lacy 00:01:05

So a year and a half and things are different now?

Joe 00:01:10

You could say that.

Sarah 00:01:11

It'd be easier to say what's the same.

Joe 00:01:14

Yeah, that's true.

Lacy 00:01:16

I'm still sick, but a little different now.

Lacy 00:01:21

Cause I'm pregnant.

Joe 00:01:22

Like sick but different.

Lacy 00:01:24

Different sick.

Joe 00:01:26

Different house, but like, still the same sick.

Lacy 00:01:29

Yeah, a different house.

Lacy 00:01:31

Joe has a different job.

Lacy 00:01:32

We still have two kids, but it's like two and a half.

Lacy 00:01:35

Cause I am pregnant.

Lacy 00:01:37

Different ages.

Lacy 00:01:38

Now Isaac goes to school and it's not just daycare.

Joe 00:01:41

Different city.

Lacy 00:01:42

Different city.

Lacy 00:01:43

Yeah, we completely moved.

Joe 00:01:44

Not very far.

Joe 00:01:45

I mean, I'm talking an hour.

Lacy 00:01:48

Far enough.

Sarah 00:01:49

How old is Isaac now?

Lacy 00:01:50

Isaac is fives.

Sarah 00:01:52

And that's kindergarten.

Lacy 00:01:53

Kindergarten.

Lacy 00:01:53

Just a half day kindergarten, which is the vein of my existence.

Joe 00:01:57

Yeah, it's.

Lacy 00:01:58

He would really love full day.

Joe 00:02:00

It's what he would prefer.

Lacy 00:02:01

Yeah, he would love full day.

Joe 00:02:02

He really likes school a lot.

Lacy 00:02:04

He does.

Lacy 00:02:05

And then Iris is in a full day daycare.

Lacy 00:02:09

She probably would prefer a half day, but can't handle her all the time.

Joe 00:02:13

Cause she likes daycare as well, though.

Joe 00:02:15

She has a lot of fun there.

Lacy 00:02:17

She does.

Lacy 00:02:18

We unfortunately don't have our dog anymore, Indy, which is very sad.

Lacy 00:02:22

So it's just people in our house now.

Lacy 00:02:26

I'd say in general, I am doing better.

Lacy 00:02:30

I would say my energy levels are a little bit more consistent.

Lacy 00:02:35

I'm less bed bound.

Lacy 00:02:37

But pregnancy has added a new level of.

Lacy 00:02:41

What's the word I'm looking for?

Lacy 00:02:42

Unknown.

Lacy 00:02:43

What am I gonna be today?

Lacy 00:02:44

Am I thrown up this morning?

Lacy 00:02:46

Probably, you know.

Joe 00:02:47

Yeah.

Lacy 00:02:48

Yeah.

Lacy 00:02:49

And Joe, his job is now much more family friendly and flexible.

Joe 00:02:56

Yes.

Lacy 00:02:56

At our hours, more consistent hours, much faster drive from work and home.

Lacy 00:03:03

So that's exciting.

Sarah 00:03:05

Well, and also exciting recent news.

Sarah 00:03:07

You're coming off of a how many day power outage?

Lacy 00:03:11

Five day power outage.

Sarah 00:03:12

Five is a kicker.

Joe 00:03:14

That was rough.

Lacy 00:03:15

It was very rough.

Joe 00:03:17

All of the perishable food is gone.

Joe 00:03:19

All of it had to get pitched.

Joe 00:03:21

Everything, freezer, refrigerator.

Joe 00:03:24

I had some stuff that was stored with some ice and it all just went melted.

Joe 00:03:29

And no power to cook anything.

Joe 00:03:32

When we realized the power was out and we were like, oh, yeah, it'll be on, you know, tonight or tomorrow morning and it'll be fine, you know, we'll leave the refrigerators closed, we won't open them.

Joe 00:03:42

And then one day turned into two, turned three, and eventually five.

Joe 00:03:47

So with certainly interesting hot water, nothing to cook with, no stove, oven, microwave.

Lacy 00:03:58

And I don't know if you know this, but I.

Lacy 00:04:00

Small children around candles is a problem.

Lacy 00:04:03

And like, I knew that, but I know it now.

Lacy 00:04:07

They are, they are moths to that flame and will not leave them the f alone.

Joe 00:04:12

I don't blame them.

Lacy 00:04:14

I know it's candles.

Joe 00:04:15

Candles are I.

Joe 00:04:16

Candles are great, but.

Lacy 00:04:18

Stop moving the effing candles around.

Sarah 00:04:20

Five day power outage, zero out of ten.

Sarah 00:04:24

Do not recommend.

Sarah 00:04:25

Wouldn't that be funny?

Sarah 00:04:26

Do like a Yelp review of power abs.

Lacy 00:04:29

Hardest thing for us is they did not give us any ETA.

Lacy 00:04:33

They wouldn't give anybody specific ETA.

Lacy 00:04:35

So you couldn't plan.

Lacy 00:04:37

If I knew we were going to be out of power for five days and I could plan for that, if I would have maybe taken some of our food to my parents house, I would have maybe even like, rearranged our schedule with something.

Lacy 00:04:51

Even got in a hotel one night because we knew, you know, it would be easy.

Lacy 00:04:54

That kind of stuff that it was always a big old question mark.

Lacy 00:04:57

It could literally turn on at any moment, or it could be four more days.

Sarah 00:05:01

You all have been adapting a lot in this past twelve months.

Sarah 00:05:05

Just been over here, do this.

Sarah 00:05:08

Try this.

Lacy 00:05:10

I've earned my chaos friend name.

Lacy 00:05:13

I feel it.

Lacy 00:05:14

I just feel like every time I talk to Sarah or anybody, I'm like, well, this is happening right now.

Lacy 00:05:20

Pregnancy is very unexpected.

Lacy 00:05:22

As I've talked about before, it does a lot of stuff for us.

Lacy 00:05:25

Like the room that we're recording this in.

Lacy 00:05:28

I planned and made my office.

Lacy 00:05:30

Cause we didn't think we were gonna have another human being in this house.

Joe 00:05:35

Yeah, but I mean, we've got, oh, at least a year until we have.

Lacy 00:05:39

That's part of the nice thing about being third time parents is like, my mom was like, do you want something for the baby?

Lacy 00:05:43

I'm like, eventually.

Lacy 00:05:44

I'm not worried about.

Sarah 00:05:48

I remember I had these friends I worked with, and they were of an older generation, and they were like, back in our day, when you had a baby, you wrapped them in an old t shirt and you stuck them in a drawer.

Sarah 00:05:58

By the time you to the third, you get it.

Sarah 00:06:01

You're like, oh, yeah, you don't need all these things that they sell.

Sarah 00:06:04

You'll be just fine.

Lacy 00:06:05

You don't need a perfectly curated space that's all up in your business anyway.

Lacy 00:06:10

I do love that newborn stage, though.

Lacy 00:06:12

I'm one of those weird people that I thrive in those first few months, and I love it, love it, love it.

Lacy 00:06:18

So I'm excited about that.

Sarah 00:06:20

So I was looking over our notes from when we meth the first time.

Sarah 00:06:25

None of this is probably going to apply.

Sarah 00:06:27

Cause different house, different everything.

Sarah 00:06:29

But we did talk about toy room maintenance.

Sarah 00:06:34

Where's the toy area?

Joe 00:06:36

Somehow exactly the same as before.

Sarah 00:06:38

Oh, interesting.

Lacy 00:06:40

It does have its own room on the first floor.

Joe 00:06:43

And it started out organized.

Lacy 00:06:45

I think it never started truly organized.

Joe 00:06:49

Everything had a place before we got that toy table.

Joe 00:06:53

That floor stayed clean often.

Joe 00:06:55

Now, to be fair, I was cleaning.

Joe 00:06:59

That floor stayed clean even with them playing in there.

Lacy 00:07:03

They'll say, our kids, because it's not in the main area.

Lacy 00:07:07

If you remember, in our previous house, the toy, quote unquote room was next to, like, it really was the same room of our living room.

Lacy 00:07:16

So the kids would play with the toys, but now that they're two different spaces, they don't go.

Lacy 00:07:23

It is a beef of mine, honestly.

Lacy 00:07:27

At this point, it just become where we put toys.

Joe 00:07:32

Yeah, I mean, we gotten to a place where we're back to where we were before, and things were okay, and they've slowly progressed to too many toys in the space.

Joe 00:07:42

So we need to do probably a 50% call of toys and then also organize the art supplies, because that's a mess, too.

Lacy 00:07:52

But I will say, we know what to do this time.

Joe 00:07:55

That's true.

Lacy 00:07:57

Haven't.

Joe 00:07:58

To be fair, things keep coming up every time.

Joe 00:08:01

We're like, hey, we'll have some free time.

Joe 00:08:02

And it's like, nope.

Joe 00:08:04

You know, there's an unexpected pregnancy and all of the complications with that.

Joe 00:08:07

Here's a power outage.

Joe 00:08:08

When you just thought, oh, there's gonna be a storm tonight.

Joe 00:08:12

Even though we haven't had rain in, like, a month and a half, and all the trees are gonna be basically blowing sideways and touching the ground.

Joe 00:08:20

Some of them may fall over completely.

Joe 00:08:22

Luckily, we missed out on that.

Sarah 00:08:24

So it wouldn't have been funny if you just hang before your kids got home, you just wave 50% of the toys and they're like, where'd they go?

Sarah 00:08:30

And you're like, that's warm.

Sarah 00:08:31

It was crazy.

Lacy 00:08:32

Honestly, Isaac, they must talk about it at school as a hurricane.

Lacy 00:08:35

Cause I feel like we could have gotten away with that.

Lacy 00:08:37

Like that daggone hurricane, man.

Joe 00:08:38

Yeah, he keeps calling it a hurricane.

Sarah 00:08:41

It took away 50% of your toys.

Sarah 00:08:43

It was the weirdest thing.

Sarah 00:08:45

You kind of got there before I did.

Sarah 00:08:47

I was going to say that room basically is a storage room because kids, as much as we try to put them in the basement or another room, they want to be where the action is.

Sarah 00:08:56

They feel the energy, and they want to be in the heart of the house.

Sarah 00:09:01

So, yeah, just, again, having that routine of putting this stuff back before they go back to bed and making sure I do want to go back to.

Sarah 00:09:09

I'm just very curious.

Sarah 00:09:11

When Jo said it was basically organized and you, lacy, were like, eh, no, I really am curious how you two are seeing that differently.

Sarah 00:09:21

Can I.

Joe 00:09:22

Well, I can tell you that I know it was organized.

Joe 00:09:24

Cause I was cleaning it, like, almost every night.

Lacy 00:09:28

So I think organized, to me, means that there is a specific place for everything.

Lacy 00:09:36

Organized to Joe, means I can put stuff in places.

Lacy 00:09:41

I mean, and it's not on the ground.

Joe 00:09:43

I'm not disagreeing with you.

Joe 00:09:44

However, there was a place for everything because that was how I kept it maintained.

Joe 00:09:49

That was how I continued to clean.

Joe 00:09:50

It was.

Joe 00:09:51

I put things back where they belonged.

Joe 00:09:53

And it started to devolve when it got to the point where it became easier just to put it into any container as opposed to the specific container.

Joe 00:10:03

And that's when the breakdown happened, was over time, they kept, they would take containers and just dump them out and then mix up the toys, and I would spend time separating them.

Joe 00:10:15

And eventually I got to the point where I was like, I'm done separating.

Joe 00:10:17

I'm just going to throw it into a bin now.

Joe 00:10:19

I kept some things separate, like the large legos and the hot wheels, that kind of.

Joe 00:10:24

But all the miscellaneous toys just talked together.

Lacy 00:10:28

There are some things that we have done a decent job.

Lacy 00:10:30

So, like gloves, Legos.

Lacy 00:10:32

He is a fantastic Lego builder.

Joe 00:10:35

Oh, yeah.

Lacy 00:10:36

And there's actually a Lego store not far from our house now.

Lacy 00:10:39

Got some of those bags from that you've seen where you can spread the Legos out on it, and then it's on the bag, and then you take the bag and you pour the stuff into the storage bag, and it's all in one thing.

Lacy 00:10:53

And that has worked in containing Legos.

Lacy 00:10:58

But the problem is, and this is the part that I think is the funniest, he doesn't play with them in the toy room because the toy room will have so much stuff on the floor.

Lacy 00:11:09

Slash it is like a thoroughfare.

Lacy 00:11:11

Like, you walk through it to get to places.

Lacy 00:11:14

We've been doing it in the living room, between our kitchen or the dining room table and a living area.

Lacy 00:11:21

And then it's just set out because it hasn't been.

Sarah 00:11:23

But at least with that bag, it's easy.

Sarah 00:11:26

If you decided you needed that space, it's easy to pick it up.

Joe 00:11:30

Yeah, it's very self contained.

Lacy 00:11:33

Yeah.

Lacy 00:11:33

If there were Lego.

Lacy 00:11:34

Well, there are Legos everywhere.

Joe 00:11:36

Cause that's a different.

Lacy 00:11:37

Children are.

Joe 00:11:38

Yeah.

Lacy 00:11:38

You can see where kit has been by just the trail of toys around the house.

Lacy 00:11:43

They are not usually, like, in giant masses.

Lacy 00:11:47

You know what I mean?

Lacy 00:11:48

Like, I have people really struggle with.

Joe 00:11:50

The Lego management when those are in places.

Joe 00:11:53

It's usually not on the floor unless it's contained within one of those containers or out on the part of the container that comes out of it.

Joe 00:12:03

But other than that, there's not really Legos on the floor.

Joe 00:12:06

So that is a positive.

Joe 00:12:08

All the legos are up on a desk or end tool or something like.

Sarah 00:12:12

That I think we had talked about in the old house.

Sarah 00:12:15

Are the kids part of the pickup routine either before dinner or after dinner, before bed with toys?

Lacy 00:12:21

No, but I'm like, oh.

Lacy 00:12:24

Because there are some things that go with and use them in different places.

Lacy 00:12:29

So, um, well, trash night has become a big deal in our house, where our trash pickup is on Monday.

Lacy 00:12:37

So Sunday nights, they.

Lacy 00:12:39

We have a system where the kids and I come upstairs, we take care of all the trash cans upstairs, then they come down and they help Joe with the first floor, and then they all take it up, and it's, like, successful, and it's one of our biggest wins.

Lacy 00:12:54

I'm Hitler proud of it doesn't always happen, but typically, Joe doesn't have to be the sole person collecting trash at night.

Lacy 00:13:03

And at, like, 1130, taking that stuff out by himself, nothing doesn't happen.

Lacy 00:13:09

But it's.

Joe 00:13:11

They've been great.

Joe 00:13:11

Get really excited.

Joe 00:13:13

They get upset if I do it by myself.

Sarah 00:13:15

Yeah.

Lacy 00:13:17

Do not empty iris trash can do it.

Lacy 00:13:20

And if you do it, she will be on the ground.

Joe 00:13:24

Yeah, very.

Sarah 00:13:25

Go put more trash back in her trash can so she can empty it.

Joe 00:13:28

Actually done that.

Lacy 00:13:29

I've done that too.

Lacy 00:13:30

Yeah, that's a good problem.

Sarah 00:13:33

That's a good problem.

Lacy 00:13:34

Debbie, another big win that I feel like we've had recently is we use the change in schedule for Isaac as a way to make chores part of his day to day.

Lacy 00:13:46

So he gets up, he eats breakfast, and he has to do a chore, because before he can do, like, anything else.

Lacy 00:13:54

And then when he comes home, he can have a snack, and then he has to do a chore before he can do anything else.

Lacy 00:14:01

So mostly manifested as emptying the dishwasher, which I don't know if you remember, dishes were a thing that came up a lot, but it is a little help.

Lacy 00:14:12

Oh, it's a big help that is getting done.

Lacy 00:14:15

We also are still working on getting him dishes is good because it's a very contained thing.

Lacy 00:14:22

He knows what's expected of him.

Lacy 00:14:23

He knows where things go.

Lacy 00:14:25

He is a machine and we have to help him with the upper stuff that he does this overall by himself.

Lacy 00:14:32

He gives you directions of when you can put things away and how.

Lacy 00:14:36

That's a fun thing where it's like, do you know who put these here the first time?

Lacy 00:14:39

I did, but.

Lacy 00:14:40

Okay.

Lacy 00:14:40

Thank you.

Lacy 00:14:41

There are things, like, really want to get him better at.

Lacy 00:14:45

And this kind of goes back to the room of feeling comfortable, resetting his face.

Lacy 00:14:49

So we've done it a couple times in the family room, and he's kind of.

Lacy 00:14:54

It just seems like such a big task, an overwhelming job for him, that it's a little harder to jump in and do, like, we did his bedroom the other day, and when I tell you that kid was proud of himself, he was like, I can't wait for daddy and Iris to see it.

Lacy 00:15:08

And then they did have a big reaction, genuinely, Iris was like, cleaned up in here, so.

Joe 00:15:16

And he's kept clean, too.

Lacy 00:15:17

He has kept.

Sarah 00:15:19

They're huge.

Sarah 00:15:20

That's so great.

Sarah 00:15:21

And how do you okay with starting these chores?

Sarah 00:15:24

Or was there a little bit of pushback?

Lacy 00:15:27

So part of him staying home and not going to, like, before and after school care is, I told him, you're going to have to pull your weight around the house if you're going to be home.

Lacy 00:15:37

You're going to have to do something.

Lacy 00:15:39

It's not just going to be watching tv all the time.

Lacy 00:15:42

Has it turned into more watching tv all the time?

Lacy 00:15:44

It has at this point, but that's fine.

Lacy 00:15:45

He's still doing the chores.

Lacy 00:15:47

Going into it.

Lacy 00:15:48

Knew that that was a nextation, that he wasn't going to be able to just do whatever he wanted.

Lacy 00:15:52

The whole time.

Lacy 00:15:53

The other thing that I did is I created a sheet that had the pictures of our day, and his tour was part of our day, and so he would check it off, and I would say he religiously checked things off for, like, almost months.

Joe 00:16:07

Oh, yeah.

Lacy 00:16:08

And now it's such a routine that we don't have to check things off.

Joe 00:16:11

I will say, though, he struggles with certain tasks because he gets overwhelmed.

Joe 00:16:19

And so, like, cleaning the family room, it's a relatively easy task, even with us offering to be like, hey, let's just get this done real fast.

Joe 00:16:28

And he'll just, you know, like, it's too much.

Joe 00:16:31

I don't know how to do it.

Joe 00:16:32

It's too hard.

Joe 00:16:33

And it's like, I see maybe ten things on the ground total, including, like, little toys.

Joe 00:16:38

That's all you gotta do is pick it up, put it where it belongs, make sure to, like, get any dishes or whatever out.

Joe 00:16:44

And he will.

Joe 00:16:45

And it's way less time than doing the dishes, but he'll completely and utterly overwhelmed by that task and basically won't hear anything you have to say about.

Joe 00:16:55

But it's really easy.

Joe 00:16:56

I'll help you.

Joe 00:16:57

And he just shuts down.

Joe 00:16:59

Now, we have gotten him to a place where he does eventually do it, but just his initial reaction is, that's too much.

Joe 00:17:07

That's too hard.

Joe 00:17:08

And I think it's like you were saying, it's infinite of a task as the dishes, where the dishes is very clear.

Joe 00:17:16

It's almost like a mathematical equation.

Joe 00:17:17

It's do this, then this, and then you're done.

Joe 00:17:20

That's it.

Joe 00:17:21

But sometimes there's like a see anything?

Joe 00:17:23

And I'm like, well, what about that over there?

Joe 00:17:25

And he's like, oh, okay, fine.

Joe 00:17:28

Or, you know, I'm like, well, can you take that cup and go put it in the sink?

Joe 00:17:31

He's like, but it's not.

Joe 00:17:33

I don't have to.

Joe 00:17:33

And it's like, just to do what I tell you.

Joe 00:17:35

It'll be done in, like, a minute or two.

Joe 00:17:37

We'll get it done fast, but just something about it.

Sarah 00:17:40

Can I offer an idea?

Lacy 00:17:43

Sarah's actually already offered an idea.

Lacy 00:17:45

I just haven't done it yet.

Lacy 00:17:46

But I'm not going to ruin it.

Sarah 00:17:48

I'm going to tie it all together.

Sarah 00:17:49

And also, then the audience can hear.

Sarah 00:17:51

So, yes, jo, you already it on the head with the dishwasher, which is.

Sarah 00:17:55

It's very defined.

Sarah 00:17:56

The silverware drawer is very defined.

Sarah 00:17:58

The cup cabinet is very defined.

Sarah 00:18:01

The living room is an entire room.

Sarah 00:18:04

And so instead of putting things where they belong.

Sarah 00:18:07

You're more pulling things out that don't belong.

Sarah 00:18:10

And I can see how to a five year old, it's just like.

Sarah 00:18:14

I mean, imagine dropping somebody in Tokyo, and you're like, okay, go find a gallon of milk.

Sarah 00:18:19

And you're like, I don't even.

Sarah 00:18:20

It's not impossible.

Sarah 00:18:21

But you're like, no, this is too much.

Sarah 00:18:24

So with you were talking about how you had your sheet for the day of all the different chores.

Sarah 00:18:30

You could make a sheet for the living room, and it's like, step one.

Sarah 00:18:36

Look for silverware, cups and plates.

Sarah 00:18:39

Goes to the kitchen.

Sarah 00:18:40

Right?

Sarah 00:18:40

And then, like, step two can be like, are there any shoes or any laundry on the floor?

Sarah 00:18:45

Take those to a basket, and then, like, step three.

Sarah 00:18:48

And that way, you're not telling him to clean the living room.

Sarah 00:18:51

You're telling him, okay, on step one.

Sarah 00:18:54

Right.

Sarah 00:18:55

So taking a big chore of the living room and then giving them, like, such finite tasks.

Sarah 00:19:01

Cause, yeah, I can see, like you said, how excited he was when his room was clean.

Sarah 00:19:05

Like, he wants to do it, and it's like, desire to please you and fulfill the task.

Sarah 00:19:10

And then the conflictingness of the confusion and the lack of sort of, like, I don't know what to do, and it just shuts down.

Lacy 00:19:18

Right.

Sarah 00:19:19

So I would say, just keep making it smaller and smaller.

Sarah 00:19:21

And maybe you stand there and say, I see three dishes that need to go to the kitchen.

Sarah 00:19:27

Can you find them?

Sarah 00:19:29

Right.

Sarah 00:19:29

Helping him that way.

Sarah 00:19:32

Do you have any ideas how to incorporate that?

Lacy 00:19:35

Well, yes, but one other thing that you had mentioned previously was taking a picture of it when it is in the reset, like, the state that we want it, and then using that as a resource for him to be able to reference what doesn't belong.

Lacy 00:19:53

And I think if we could treat it almost like what's different in these two pictures, he might not, too.

Joe 00:20:01

Yeah.

Joe 00:20:01

The idea of the known as this step two is that I think he'll really respond to that.

Lacy 00:20:06

I do, too.

Sarah 00:20:07

And I think you can do both.

Sarah 00:20:09

So I think he can have.

Joe 00:20:10

That's what I was just about to say, is the idea of the picture, too.

Joe 00:20:14

So that way he has some idea of what he's like.

Joe 00:20:18

The goal is.

Lacy 00:20:19

Well, and what I'm thinking is, those steps can be used in any room.

Lacy 00:20:23

Right.

Lacy 00:20:23

We only need to make that sheet one.

Lacy 00:20:26

And it can be, you know, find dishes, find laundry, find things that go in here and find things that go somewhere else.

Sarah 00:20:34

Let's do.

Sarah 00:20:35

I mean, this is just such a natural plug for home management.

Sarah 00:20:38

For kids, it is about clearly communicating the expectations and also being clear.

Sarah 00:20:45

I have a thing about when people tell their kids to go clean room, and I'm like, that's very ambiguous.

Sarah 00:20:51

That means a hundred things to 100 different people.

Sarah 00:20:54

But, yes, if you tell somebody, pick up what doesn't belong, pick up the dishes, pick up the trash, pick up the laundry, pick up the books, you know, that process things.

Sarah 00:21:06

If you pick up, and then when they're a little older, you get to explain, okay, now that it's picked up, how do you actually clean?

Sarah 00:21:13

And so them knowing those are two different steps, I think is really important and will help them in the long run too.

Sarah 00:22:12

Yeah, yeah.

Sarah 00:22:13

Is Iris on this train at all with chores or she's just being her irish self?

Joe 00:22:20

She likes to be involved.

Joe 00:22:22

She likes to be given a task.

Joe 00:22:24

She likes to, you know, execute on something.

Joe 00:22:28

She likes to police other people.

Lacy 00:22:30

She loves to police other people.

Joe 00:22:31

Also struggles with some of the tasks.

Joe 00:22:35

And I think she, I mean, she's three, so, you know, we don't.

Joe 00:22:40

Super high expectations, but I also think we let her go a little bit.

Joe 00:22:44

Cause it's just we're, like, right now to get it done.

Lacy 00:22:47

When Chloe, some things she does automatically, and they both do, they take their plates to throw away what is on their plate at the end of a meal, and then take their plate to the sink.

Joe 00:22:59

Yep.

Lacy 00:22:59

And I'm always very, that is something that I'm so glad that they're in the habit of.

Lacy 00:23:05

But she does it.

Lacy 00:23:06

They're meant to be frisbees, but to Iris, they are.

Joe 00:23:08

Yeah.

Joe 00:23:09

She'll sink and wind up and just absolutely trap to the sail.

Lacy 00:23:14

They're plastic.

Joe 00:23:15

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe 00:23:16

But it's still like, did you disc as bad as hard as possible into the sink?

Joe 00:23:22

She loves that.

Lacy 00:23:23

Yes, she does.

Lacy 00:23:24

So she put it in her shoes where they belong.

Joe 00:23:28

Yes.

Lacy 00:23:29

And putting the hanging up, whatever stuff that they have, she does a pretty good job of laundering to a basket.

Joe 00:23:38

Yeah.

Joe 00:23:39

She's really putting dirty laundry away.

Lacy 00:23:41

Yeah.

Lacy 00:23:42

Started helping put her laundry away.

Lacy 00:23:44

That has become one of Isaac's things that he has to do.

Lacy 00:23:47

I fold his laundry and he puts it away.

Joe 00:23:50

Yeah.

Lacy 00:23:50

And she helps.

Joe 00:23:52

He loves to help.

Lacy 00:23:54

She loves to help.

Joe 00:23:55

What he can reach.

Joe 00:23:56

She loves to help.

Lacy 00:23:57

I think something we could do better is on weekends, so as that schedule.

Lacy 00:24:03

Right.

Lacy 00:24:04

If I have to do this, I think we should be better about saying, okay, we've eaten breakfast, let's do a chore, and we all do it together.

Joe 00:24:14

The weekends are really the only unscheduled time that we have.

Joe 00:24:17

And I think that they both struggle with that sometimes.

Joe 00:24:20

I mean, they appreciate the freedom, but they need a little bit more structure.

Joe 00:24:26

Not that we have to lay out the whole day or anything, but I do think there should be.

Joe 00:24:32

Okay, it's the 20 minutes clean time, or however we want to set it up of, like, oh, now that you've had breakfast, we're going to do this.

Joe 00:24:39

But we also need to be careful, too, because weekend mornings are the only, we really get where the kids are, like, doing their own thing and you're not, you know, falling asleep.

Lacy 00:24:51

Yeah.

Lacy 00:24:52

They get up and they get their tablets and they get their own breakfast.

Lacy 00:24:55

It's the morning thing.

Sarah 00:24:58

I'm like, so let's.

Joe 00:24:59

Let's be careful what we're assigning, you know?

Joe 00:25:02

Cause certainly want to lose that, that time that we get, that brief time that we get together.

Lacy 00:25:07

I will say that is another thing that we built into moving into this new house is there is a cabinet that has snacks.

Lacy 00:25:13

Oh, yeah.

Lacy 00:25:13

It has breakfast items for them that they can always go to and get themselves.

Lacy 00:25:18

So, like Isaac, a snack to school.

Lacy 00:25:20

He packs his own backpack with his snack, iris for breakfast in the morning.

Lacy 00:25:25

Yep.

Lacy 00:25:27

After school.

Lacy 00:25:28

So we do.

Lacy 00:25:30

That is something.

Lacy 00:25:30

Another thing that I'm very like, I really don't think we would have thought of without going through the first season.

Joe 00:25:35

Oh, completely agree.

Joe 00:25:36

It's very accessible to them.

Joe 00:25:39

And snacks that we've all agreed upon, they're easy for us to keep stocked.

Lacy 00:25:45

Nutrigrain bars.

Joe 00:25:46

Nutrigrain bars, fruit pouches, little mini muffins, and, I guess, granola bars.

Joe 00:25:56

And then, of course, his stuff that he takes for his school.

Lacy 00:26:00

Fish.

Joe 00:26:00

Yeah.

Joe 00:26:01

And they've gotten.

Sarah 00:26:03

That is awkward.

Joe 00:26:04

They've even gotten to the point where Isaac can open pretty much every single one by himself.

Joe 00:26:09

So they're being completely self sufficient with it, too, which is very nice that they don't have to.

Sarah 00:26:15

And great, great timing with the newbie, with the new third one coming along.

Sarah 00:26:19

And they can pack like you're knocking their snacks.

Sarah 00:26:22

You're not.

Sarah 00:26:22

I mean, that's, that's amazing.

Joe 00:26:25

Yeah.

Joe 00:26:26

Mornings, mornings have gotten a lot easier.

Joe 00:26:28

Like, significantly easier.

Joe 00:26:30

Especially because now that we are, now that I'm only taking one of them to school, I only have to get one of them out the door.

Joe 00:26:37

But Isaac still gets up at the same time.

Joe 00:26:40

And because he's excited for school, he's really motivated in the mornings.

Joe 00:26:46

So he actually helps get Iris ready by, like, he'll go in and the two of them will just hang out.

Lacy 00:26:51

This morning, there's a song that, the wake up song.

Lacy 00:26:55

And he went into her room and turned it on himself.

Lacy 00:26:58

And I'm just laughing cause he's annoying the crap out of her.

Lacy 00:27:01

Cause he's me where he wakes up and he's ready to go, whereas Iris is Joe, where it's like, leave me alone for a while.

Lacy 00:27:09

And so it's just so funny that he's like, wake up.

Lacy 00:27:12

Come on, everybody, wake up.

Lacy 00:27:14

And it's amazing.

Sarah 00:27:17

I love that.

Sarah 00:27:19

That is so cute on so many levels.

Sarah 00:27:21

Going back to the snacks, that was a good segue into the other thing we worked on when we met in season one was food, dinners, prep, planning, all of those things.

Sarah 00:27:34

How has that been, like in the new house?

Sarah 00:27:36

How was, like, any wins that have carried over, any struggles that you want to talk about?

Joe 00:27:41

It's so much better now.

Joe 00:27:43

I mean, we still struggle a little bit, especially when the power's out and we're trying to figure out what to get for food, but also not have leftovers, but also mix it up and keep everyone happy and try not to use dishes.

Lacy 00:27:59

So I took a lot of the ten steps to meal prep, of course, and kind of adapted it to us.

Lacy 00:28:06

As you know, I don't like having a set meal plane that seems too restricting to me.

Lacy 00:28:14

Well, so what we have, we essentially, every week, we'll get chicken.

Joe 00:28:19

Well, okay.

Joe 00:28:20

No, I got mostly.

Lacy 00:28:22

I got one.

Joe 00:28:23

So lace doesn't really love structured dinner plans of, like, we're gonna eat this on this day.

Joe 00:28:29

We're gonna have this available.

Joe 00:28:30

And so we've gotten to, well, first of all, we got the was it boost membership through Kroger, which is a huge deal, because it was on discount, first of all, and we've already saved more than we spent on the discount.

Joe 00:28:45

But what they offer is free delivery of your groceries to your house, and it's next day guarantee guaranteed.

Joe 00:28:52

So when we want groceries, first of all, grocery shopping, as much as I love it, I do not have time for that.

Joe 00:28:59

So I just, I dont go to the grocery store anymore.

Joe 00:29:02

And we also dont go to pickup.

Joe 00:29:04

They now deliver them to our door, which is fantastic, because basically, instead of trying to buy two weeks worth of groceries and guessing at everything youre going to need, we started buying anywhere from, like, three to seven days worth of groceries.

Joe 00:29:19

And so its a lot easier, as opposed to trying to guess at everything youre going to need and plan for, like, smaller timeframes where, like, wouldn't it be nice if.

Joe 00:29:29

And one of the other things I've started doing is, first of all, with your pregnancy, dinners are difficult.

Lacy 00:29:36

The thought of food is still something I struggle with.

Lacy 00:29:40

So having to think about, I can't even do it, like, what to eat and, like, the stuff to go into it.

Lacy 00:29:47

My stomach is literally starting to turn.

Joe 00:29:49

Talking about, well, and we have to be really careful about what you eat because of the diabetes, but essentially, it's gestational diabetes.

Joe 00:29:57

And so it has been difficult.

Joe 00:29:59

Um, but one thing I do was I came up with a decently large list of diabetic, diabetic friendly dinners, and basie sent them to you.

Joe 00:30:12

And what we think you're in the mood for this week.

Joe 00:30:16

And so you would just highlight a handful of things off the list that didn't make you feel sick thinking about them, and then we would plan for those.

Joe 00:30:24

But now we've kind of gotten to a point where I'm starting to get stuff that can be split into multiple different options.

Joe 00:30:30

So, for example, when we get the chicken, we have the option for baked chicken with salad or a baked chicken with veggies, or we turn the chicken into, like, an asian style sauce with rice or chicken wraps with, like, a caesar dressing.

Joe 00:30:47

Uh, and so basically, we get this stuff to have all of those as options without.

Joe 00:30:55

And by that, I mean the non perishables, basically.

Joe 00:30:58

So that way, we're not, like, burning a bunch of perishables, but it's giving us the option to turn something into, like, two or three different things, and then whatever we're in the mood for.

Joe 00:31:06

Great.

Joe 00:31:07

So, like, ground beef?

Joe 00:31:08

Ground beef could be chili or meatloaf or tacos or taco salad.

Joe 00:31:13

And so we kind of, you know, like, beef, lettuce, tomatoes, fruits, veggies, all that kind of stuff is great.

Joe 00:31:21

And we just buy it, and then we kind of use through it.

Joe 00:31:25

And as we go, it's like, what are you in the mood for this?

Joe 00:31:28

Or you're like, I don't want to pick.

Joe 00:31:30

And I'm like, okay, fine.

Joe 00:31:31

I feel like making this tonight.

Lacy 00:31:32

And sometimes it's like last night where I was like, we're going to have breakfast for dinner.

Lacy 00:31:36

Thank you.

Joe 00:31:38

To be honest, the dinner thing is, you know, with, with the free delivery without us having to worry about, like, going and trying to guess at, like, two weeks worth of groceries and them being like, hey, if we just want to find enough food for, like, two or three days, we can do that.

Joe 00:31:52

It's free delivery.

Joe 00:31:53

We're not spending any extra money on it.

Joe 00:31:55

So.

Lacy 00:31:55

And with my chronic illness, remember, it's all those little things that add up.

Lacy 00:32:00

And so even though it was pick, we would do pickup, that was still me having to get in a car.

Lacy 00:32:06

And so right there, that's already, you know, a little bit more.

Lacy 00:32:10

I have to go at a certain time, so if I'm not feeling good at that time, it's a problem, you know, all those different things.

Lacy 00:32:15

And so delivery has eliminated those barriers, and so that's also been a big part of it.

Joe 00:32:21

Absolutely, yeah.

Sarah 00:32:23

And two, for people listening who want to apply some of this to their own lives.

Sarah 00:32:27

And I learned this from Sarah from season one about she had this time in her life wherever I.

Sarah 00:32:33

Oh, my gosh.

Sarah 00:32:33

Ten things were going sideways, and she was like, I can't even think about a day's worth of meals.

Sarah 00:32:39

She's like, sometimes I go, and I am only buying one meal at the grocery store.

Sarah 00:32:43

Cause she was running to so many appointments and errands.

Sarah 00:32:46

Getting to the grocery store wasn't a problem.

Sarah 00:32:48

But she's like, I just don't have the bandwidth.

Sarah 00:32:50

And so if you ever are thinking about meal planning and you're just, like, shutting down, like Joe said, you're not trying to plan for two weeks anymore.

Sarah 00:32:58

Like, okay, what's the next five to seven days?

Sarah 00:33:01

And so just.

Sarah 00:33:02

And I've even found for myself, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm like, well, how about if I just plan for today and tomorrow?

Sarah 00:33:07

Like, just pick two meals?

Sarah 00:33:10

And so I love that that's been success for you.

Sarah 00:33:13

One of the things from when we talked in season one, Jo, was you were talking about how you would drive home, and then you immediately had to start making dinner, and you felt like there was kind of no decompress time for yourself.

Sarah 00:33:27

Is it still feeling like that, or is your drive shorter and you've got time?

Sarah 00:33:31

How's that going?

Joe 00:33:33

I mean, there's still a little bit of that going on, but I don't have the same feelings anymore.

Joe 00:33:38

I mean, my job is significantly less stress.

Joe 00:33:44

The drive is half of what I was doing before.

Joe 00:33:48

It just depends.

Joe 00:33:49

But, yeah, it's about half the drive.

Joe 00:33:51

Way less stress.

Joe 00:33:54

We've been able to free up a little more time for me to be able to do some outside activities, which is nice.

Joe 00:34:02

It's still a struggle because with the uncertainty of Lace's chronic illness and now the pregnancy, it's like, how is she going to feel in 2 hours?

Joe 00:34:12

And it's like, good luck trying to figure that out.

Joe 00:34:16

So sometimes we have to try and plan for an additional body to be here to help with the kids.

Joe 00:34:22

But I've been able to basically, like, play D and D without feeling, like, super guilty every once in a while, it'll be like, okay, lace isn't doing well.

Joe 00:34:31

I'll have to remote in, but I still get to play.

Joe 00:34:35

So, you know, that part of it has all been nice.

Joe 00:34:40

It's, you know, realistically, we're still looking at the same.

Joe 00:34:43

Like, I'm kind of, like, on the clock as soon as I walk through the door, but it doesn't feel the same as it used to.

Joe 00:34:52

It helps that the kids are a little bit older, a little more self sufficient, just the snack thing alone where they can go, and they're like, okay, it's time.

Joe 00:35:00

You can go have your snack.

Joe 00:35:01

And they're like, okay.

Joe 00:35:02

And I don't have to go to a cabinet and search through it and be like, what about this?

Joe 00:35:06

What about this?

Joe 00:35:08

Will you eat this?

Joe 00:35:09

And they're like, yeah.

Joe 00:35:09

And then I hand it to them, like, I don't want that.

Joe 00:35:12

All of that's gone.

Joe 00:35:14

And so, you know, there's.

Joe 00:35:15

There's a lot of little things that we've kind of gotten in the habit of things that we've fixed over time that have just made all of that a much easier process.

Joe 00:35:23

Plus, you know, the.

Joe 00:35:24

The way we've been doing dinners has been a lot easier.

Joe 00:35:27

And so it's just, you know, it is still kind of the same where I do somewhat feel on the clock until the kids are basically completely asleep.

Joe 00:35:36

But it doesn't feel as stressful, it doesn't feel as difficult as it used to.

Sarah 00:35:40

That's great.

Sarah 00:35:41

I'm hearing a lot of wins.

Sarah 00:35:43

I mean, a combination of things that you learned, but also just a combination of the new job, the different kids getting older.

Sarah 00:35:50

Is there anything that you want to troubleshoot or anything that is a thorn in your side a little bit that you wanna.

Joe 00:36:00

I mean, the toy room is a problem, but we've got a plan for that one, so I think we're good, because, to be fair, it's a lot of the same plan that we came up with last time.

Joe 00:36:09

We just need to execute on it this time.

Joe 00:36:11

And we did somewhat executed on it when we moved because we got rid of a lot of toys.

Joe 00:36:18

But, of course, stuff has come in since then, and more stuffies have been added, and people are like, oh, do you want this?

Joe 00:36:26

And they're like, okay, great.

Joe 00:36:27

The kids will love that.

Joe 00:36:28

And it's like, okay, well, now we have to find a place to shove that.

Joe 00:36:32

So that has built up over.

Joe 00:36:34

But we did get that to replace when we had moved.

Joe 00:36:37

We just need to get back there.

Lacy 00:36:40

What about out?

Lacy 00:36:41

So I can't do outdoor stuff.

Lacy 00:36:42

That's too much for me.

Lacy 00:36:44

So Joe has to do it.

Lacy 00:36:45

Well.

Lacy 00:36:45

So I'm just asking, like, is that something we should think about?

Joe 00:36:48

I mean, it would be nice, but what the hell is that aside from paying like a landscaper?

Joe 00:36:53

Well, okay, now that's a good point.

Joe 00:36:54

So I don't feel like I have enough time to do yard stuff, so.

Joe 00:37:03

Yeah, that's a good point.

Lacy 00:37:04

And we do have a lot more yard.

Joe 00:37:06

We have way more yard now.

Joe 00:37:07

We have a corner lot.

Joe 00:37:08

So it's like, hey, everyone in the entire neighborhood, look at how terrible our yard looks.

Joe 00:37:14

So everyone sees our yard and sees our beautiful solar panels that we now have.

Joe 00:37:20

But, yes, yard work is a struggle because I don't feel like I ever have free time for it.

Joe 00:37:25

And it's always a negotiation when I do finally get it.

Joe 00:37:28

And then sometimes it's like, nope, got to stop what you're doing and come back in for the kids.

Joe 00:37:32

And it's like, man, it would be really nice to just, like, have the freedom to be like, you know, I'm going to go do yard work now, as opposed to, okay, let's.

Joe 00:37:41

Let's plan for this.

Joe 00:37:42

Let's schedule this.

Joe 00:37:43

After this time, I'm going to do this, and then I'll come back and check, and then I'll go and do this.

Joe 00:37:47

And it's just.

Joe 00:37:48

It makes it difficult for me to go and do it.

Joe 00:37:50

It gets done.

Joe 00:37:52

But that is a struggle.

Sarah 00:37:53

And what all.

Sarah 00:37:54

What all needs to be.

Joe 00:37:56

Oh, God, everything.

Sarah 00:37:58

No, no, no.

Sarah 00:37:59

Let's break it down.

Sarah 00:37:59

Break it down into categories.

Sarah 00:38:01

So, mowing is one.

Joe 00:38:02

Uh, well, it's two different kinds of mowing.

Joe 00:38:04

It's mowing the front and the back.

Joe 00:38:06

But one is a riding mower.

Joe 00:38:08

One's a push mower, because I can't fit the riding mower through the gate in the backyard.

Joe 00:38:13

To be clear, I will still have to use the push mower in the backyard because of how narrow some of the confined spaces are.

Joe 00:38:19

Like, I could get in that circle probably without the mower, but I couldn't get any of the rest of the yard because the turret is way too large.

Joe 00:38:27

So.

Sarah 00:38:27

So that's okay.

Joe 00:38:28

That's not really worth the time, save.

Sarah 00:38:30

That it would potentially what needs to be done.

Joe 00:38:34

So mowing it front and back edging is something that I only rarely get to.

Joe 00:38:40

And there's one section I don't think I've ever edged which is problematic.

Joe 00:38:44

Weeding is the number one, largest, most difficult thing that still needs to be done in large areas.

Joe 00:38:55

I think, realistically, a lot of that, the fixes for that, in my opinion, are calling in help, whether it's paid or unpaid labor.

Joe 00:39:04

As well as changing some of our landscaping.

Lacy 00:39:06

Well, some of the landscaping we would love to change.

Joe 00:39:09

Well, okay.

Joe 00:39:10

So to clear the people that had the house before us, I think the husband was retired.

Joe 00:39:15

Right.

Joe 00:39:15

One of them was retired.

Joe 00:39:16

Cause remember, she was just retiring.

Lacy 00:39:18

Yeah.

Joe 00:39:19

And I think he was already retired.

Joe 00:39:21

Anyway.

Joe 00:39:21

They clearly spent a long time on the yard.

Lacy 00:39:24

I.

Joe 00:39:24

Every single week.

Joe 00:39:26

And it's like, well, I have the timer capacity for that.

Joe 00:39:30

And so there are a lot of parts of the yard that I've been attempting to maintain the way they were before, and it's just simply too much.

Joe 00:39:38

I can't and nor do I want to.

Joe 00:39:41

I mean, we don't even like the way some of it looks.

Lacy 00:39:43

So that's part of the problem is.

Lacy 00:39:44

But then the effort to go like.

Lacy 00:39:47

So we're on a corner lot, and there's this, like, corner flower bed that has stuff that it makes it hard to see around the corner.

Lacy 00:39:55

It drives me bananas.

Joe 00:39:57

It's big, too.

Lacy 00:39:58

But then it's like, well, how do we get it down?

Lacy 00:40:02

What are we to do instead?

Lacy 00:40:03

And so because we've been in our house, like, literally a year this week.

Joe 00:40:08

Yeah.

Joe 00:40:10

I mean, that flower bed has more square footage than a king size bed.

Joe 00:40:15

So it's not a little wall.

Joe 00:40:17

It's a big boy.

Lacy 00:40:19

I think the problem with the yard is that it is a mix of one off things and maintenance.

Joe 00:40:26

Yeah.

Lacy 00:40:27

And the only thing we tend to be able to make time for is the maintenance of, like, yard being mowed.

Joe 00:40:33

Yeah.

Joe 00:40:34

And to be fair, I don't necessarily have all the tools.

Lacy 00:40:36

So I just want to be very clear.

Lacy 00:40:38

I don't care about yard stuff.

Joe 00:40:40

Same.

Sarah 00:40:41

So that's a couple of different lenses to put this through.

Sarah 00:41:33

The first lens is like, yeah, the yard is not a priority for you.

Sarah 00:41:36

The people who own the house before were retired.

Sarah 00:41:38

Tons of time.

Sarah 00:41:39

They spend it all out there.

Sarah 00:41:41

Yes.

Sarah 00:41:41

You have two little kids, one more on the way.

Sarah 00:41:43

Thats where your time is going.

Sarah 00:41:45

And then just maintaining what is.

Sarah 00:41:48

And ive and I do have an idea about the weeds.

Sarah 00:41:50

And then the next step, tapping into those people in your life who do know a little bit more and then having a plan of making it closer to zero.

Sarah 00:42:01

Well, not zero maintenance.

Sarah 00:42:02

It's never going to be zero.

Sarah 00:42:03

But you can put things in that are going to be easier to maintain and then choosing once a year where you're going to apply to and then tapping into your friends and family saying, we'll feed you if you come over and help us do this project.

Sarah 00:42:22

And a lot of people, if you want to dig some of that stuff up, a lot of people will be happy to take it.

Sarah 00:42:27

I am such a fan of perennial grasses, like decorative grasses, because they give you something to look at that are visual, they don't need water and you don't have to do anything, you know, like fountain grasses because a lot of.

Lacy 00:42:41

Those perennials, yeah, yeah.

Sarah 00:42:43

A lot of those perennials you have to prune, you have to maintain them.

Sarah 00:42:47

They start to grow too big and then you got to split them.

Sarah 00:42:50

So, yeah, if, you know, do you have somebody in your life who's a.

Lacy 00:42:54

Well, to no one's surprise, Bob and Carolyn, Carolyn used to do all of their wendy's landscape and they have to say they have, they've just shown up sometimes and been like, we're going to pressure wash the front and the back.

Lacy 00:43:07

Okay.

Lacy 00:43:08

Joe's parents have shown up and been like, okay, we're going to weed these beds.

Lacy 00:43:12

Okay, great.

Lacy 00:43:12

So, I mean, we do have occasionally.

Joe 00:43:16

Help there, but what we have is.

Lacy 00:43:18

Beyond that, is beyond the ability of that.

Lacy 00:43:20

Yeah, yeah.

Sarah 00:43:21

Bob and Carolyn, that's a great thing of the wendy's.

Sarah 00:43:25

They wanted it to be curb appealing, minimal input.

Sarah 00:43:28

So they would probably have a lot of ideas.

Lacy 00:43:31

No, my minimal input and Carolyn's minimal input are a little different.

Joe 00:43:35

Yeah.

Joe 00:43:38

And this is something obviously we've been talking about for a while.

Joe 00:43:41

But I do think we're to a place where we recognize that we need to reduce the amount of stuff that requires care.

Joe 00:43:49

And that may simplify things because if youve got, lets say, 200 cubic feet of flower garden, if you can cut that to 100 cubic feet or flower garden, its way more manageable than 200 cubic feet.

Joe 00:44:05

And so I think that we have some flower beds that weve already decided that we dont like the way that the things look in there.

Joe 00:44:15

They're, you know, just, it's stuff that doesn't.

Joe 00:44:19

And so, you know, we're to a place where we need to change what is in there.

Joe 00:44:24

For example, ripping.

Lacy 00:44:25

We need to make decisions.

Lacy 00:44:26

I think that's really where we're, we.

Joe 00:44:28

Need to make decisions, but we also, we also need to find a way to execute on what we've decided.

Lacy 00:44:33

Well, okay.

Lacy 00:44:34

So for example, my mom may have said, hey, while you guys are gone in Europe, can you make a wish list of things you would like done around your house?

Joe 00:44:42

Oh, I didn't know that.

Lacy 00:44:43

Yeah.

Lacy 00:44:44

I haven't said it yet because I feel guilty about it.

Lacy 00:44:46

Cause they're already watching our children.

Joe 00:44:48

But to be fair, I wish I had a week or two where I could just stay around the house and take care of.

Lacy 00:44:53

And so that's what I think as we're sitting here talking.

Lacy 00:44:56

We just need to define.

Lacy 00:44:58

I think if we could define this, I think that's part of the problem, is we don't know what to do in some of those spaces.

Lacy 00:45:05

And if we were able to say, this is what we want, I do think we could get the help to get it done.

Sarah 00:45:10

We have some people in our community who are building a house very close to where I live, and they bought a lot, and then they cleared it.

Sarah 00:45:18

And I was talking to the dad, and they're moving from a house.

Sarah 00:45:22

They've got three kids.

Sarah 00:45:22

They need a little bit more space.

Sarah 00:45:24

And he goes, oh, we're not doing landscaping.

Sarah 00:45:27

He's like, we're not doing a yard.

Sarah 00:45:29

He goes, I want to be doing stuff on the weekend.

Sarah 00:45:31

He's like, I'm so tired of taking care of the yard.

Sarah 00:45:33

And I was like, oh, my gosh.

Sarah 00:45:35

That's a choice.

Sarah 00:45:38

I was like, can't even think about that.

Sarah 00:45:41

And I let half of my front yard go to wildflowers because I was just like, I don't want to be gnawing all of this.

Sarah 00:45:47

This takes over an hour as it is, so I do hear you.

Sarah 00:45:51

It's a huge input, and I would say break it down.

Sarah 00:45:55

Like, pick one flower bed.

Sarah 00:45:57

Okay.

Sarah 00:45:57

Let's just get rid of this one flower bed this year, however that may look.

Sarah 00:46:02

And then.

Sarah 00:46:03

But I know it's a huge endeavor, but lean into Bob and Carolyn, man.

Sarah 00:46:07

It's like, you got the magic.

Lacy 00:46:10

They helped us this weekend.

Lacy 00:46:11

I just.

Lacy 00:46:12

I think I'm feeling so grateful.

Joe 00:46:14

Yeah.

Joe 00:46:15

We stayed there one night when our power was out.

Lacy 00:46:18

Yeah.

Lacy 00:46:18

They fed us, took, made our kids, had our kids play and stuff.

Lacy 00:46:22

It was just nice.

Sarah 00:46:24

Oh, I had an idea about the waiting, and this actually loops back into the chores idea, and it ties in nicely with the weekend.

Sarah 00:46:33

So going into that visual, kids like to know what's going on, and sometimes when you say it all, it just becomes, wah, wah, wah.

Sarah 00:46:42

But if you had and just hand drew it or whatever, had six or eight quadrants of different things that could be done on the weekends, each one takes 20 minutes, or you would only do it for 20 minutes.

Sarah 00:46:56

And maybe one of the weekend things is the kids go out with you and for 20 minutes they pull weeds.

Sarah 00:47:04

And you could give them a certain size, like a sand pail or something.

Sarah 00:47:09

And, I mean, you can incentivize them, like, fifty cents a sand pail or something, and just teach them what a weed looks like and how to pull it.

Sarah 00:47:17

Is it going to be great?

Sarah 00:47:18

No, but they'll eventually get better, and that might just wait.

Lacy 00:47:22

Why are you too?

Lacy 00:47:24

I don't know if he knows.

Lacy 00:47:25

So Joe is, he'll walk by a bed and pull a weed.

Lacy 00:47:30

And I've seen Iris start to do it, so I'm like, iris would be on board.

Lacy 00:47:35

But as she explained something like that, if that's a weed, I mean, at.

Sarah 00:47:39

This point, who cares?

Lacy 00:47:40

Who cares?

Lacy 00:47:41

Let her pull it.

Joe 00:47:42

Yeah.

Joe 00:47:43

The kids helping is a very good idea.

Joe 00:47:47

And honestly, popsicles is all it would take.

Joe 00:47:49

Just, you know, we'll give you a popsicle if you do this.

Joe 00:47:52

And they would gladly go out and help.

Joe 00:47:53

But I do worry about them being able to get at some of the weeds.

Joe 00:47:57

Cause they're, you know, maybe we should.

Lacy 00:47:59

Buy them little gardening gloves.

Joe 00:48:01

Yeah.

Joe 00:48:02

Herbs.

Joe 00:48:02

I just use my hands mostly.

Sarah 00:48:04

And you could teach them, too.

Sarah 00:48:06

I don't know what kind of you have going on right now, but if there's a very specific weed, you can, like, point to it and tell them to pull.

Sarah 00:48:13

Like, there's ones that pull up really easily.

Sarah 00:48:16

Just tell them to go for those.

Sarah 00:48:18

Or you can give them a defined area and say, pull up anything green in this specific area and use a hula hoop or something.

Sarah 00:48:26

Put it down and say, okay, inside.

Joe 00:48:29

Of this, pull everything, or just pull up everything you see in front of you.

Sarah 00:48:32

But, I mean, you'll be right there with them, helping them, and they'll take ownership, and they'll love that.

Sarah 00:48:39

But, yeah, you could come up with other 20 minutes or 15 minutes chore idea just done on the weekend.

Sarah 00:48:44

They're not a daily thing.

Sarah 00:48:47

Yeah, I feel like, I feel like we covered a lot of ground with you two today.

Sarah 00:48:52

Sounds like things are going pretty well.

Lacy 00:48:55

Yeah, I mean, I think as we were talking, the more like, I don't feel as stressed about our house.

Lacy 00:49:02

It sounds like Jo's not as stressed about our house.

Lacy 00:49:06

And so it's just one of those where it's just like, this really works.

Lacy 00:49:10

And we've been maintaining it for a year now.

Lacy 00:49:12

Yeah, that's great.

Lacy 00:49:15

Yeah.

Lacy 00:49:15

Yeah.

Sarah 00:49:16

Well, I'm so glad we got to follow up and hear how things are going.

Sarah 00:49:19

And I'm just.

Sarah 00:49:21

I'm so excited, so excited to see where you're going to stick this third baby into a corner, into a basket, and here.

Sarah 00:49:29

Gown proofs.

Joe 00:49:30

It's not really more of, like, a nook.

Joe 00:49:32

Yeah, because there's no door.

Joe 00:49:34

That's.

Lacy 00:49:34

No, but I do have a curtain rod.

Lacy 00:49:37

What does it say?

Sarah 00:49:37

Just put a curtain.

Lacy 00:49:38

Oh, I already have it all.

Lacy 00:49:39

I just need a.

Sarah 00:49:41

That would be so nice.

Sarah 00:49:42

Just like a little sleeping nook.

Sarah 00:49:44

I love that.

Lacy 00:49:45

Well, I think it would just be for a while.

Lacy 00:49:46

The changing table clothes, baby supplies will go here, and then over time, probably combine with iris as far as room wise.

Lacy 00:49:57

Cause it's a girl.

Sarah 00:49:58

So Q said you've been through this rodeo.

Sarah 00:50:01

You know what to expect.

Sarah 00:50:02

I mean, and you can kind of modulate your expectations to reality.

Sarah 00:50:06

Like, he just enter that chill zone, which is where I feel you are right now.

Lacy 00:50:11

Oh.

Lacy 00:50:11

And that's why I do so that during the newborn phase, because your objectives are so clear of every 3 hours, we feed you, you sleep, we cuddle next 3 hours.

Lacy 00:50:24

And so I really get it.

Sarah 00:50:27

I was like, well, thank you for sharing your story with our audience.

Lacy 00:50:32

It's very hard, as you know.

Sarah 00:50:34

Well, okay.

Sarah 00:50:35

I'm directing more at Joe.

Sarah 00:50:36

Joe, thank you for showing up and sharing your story.

Joe 00:50:40

You are.

Sarah 00:50:41

It will definitely help somebody listening today.

Joe 00:50:44

Good.

Lacy 00:50:44

Well, thank you, Sarah.

Sarah 00:50:47

Thank you, ladies.