Girlhood and Lifelong Friendships Part 1

Welcome to sharing the middle, where we share our stories

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of the messy middles of life.

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To be able to see one another

and hopefully feel ourselves be

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seen in each other's stories.

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We're still working on that intro.

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I don't know.

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This is going to be a continuation

of me, Lacey, your host's story in

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conversation with the people in my world..

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I find it a lot easier for me to

tell my story in conversation.

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And boy, do you learn a lot about me in

this conversation with my friend, Emma?

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Emma has been my friend.

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For a very long time, and this was an

opportunity one for us to catch up.

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So you'll hear our joy

and just catching up.

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But we really talked through going through

a lot of our life together, what it means

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to be a lifelong friend and, , going

into from girlhood to womanhood and.

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Our relationships with each

other and all of this different

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stuff throughout our lives.

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It's a great conversation.

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That gets really deep at some times.

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And I'm just so thankful for Emma's

willingness to talk to me and share.

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And just the amount of joy that it's

brought me from doing this interview.

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We've seen each other a lot more and

it's just fantastic and wonderful.

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And I love it so much.

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This is part one, we'll

have a part two in.

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A week.

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And let's jump right in.

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The reason why I thought you would be

a really great person just to start

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with is because you have a view of me.

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throughout almost my whole life in a

different way than like my family does.

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, you've always seen different parts of

my life and all the different phases.

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it just made sense to me that,

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I

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don't know, in talking to you,

people would learn a lot about me.

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That's where it started.

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And then the other thing that I was

thinking about, and I actually adjusted

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this as I was thinking last night, is you

and I experienced a lot of Girlhood, into

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tweens, into womanhood, into parenthood,

like all those different things.

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And I just, I, when I think about those

things, I think about you a lot of times.

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I just wanted to talk about those things

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Emma: I love it too because I think

about our friendship and I remember

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you said one time it was so easy

to not have to put the effort in.

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And friendships take so much effort, and

I'll never forget, for your wedding, you

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even asked me still to read something.

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And we hadn't been that close, but we

still, I feel like we will always be

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close, even without having to catch up.

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And so even when you asked me to

read something at your wedding, that

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meant so much to me, just to know, I

still meant something in your life.

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absolutely!

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it was just so cool, even after,

I don't know, it was just, yeah.

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Great moment.

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Lacey: Yeah.

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And I, it just, again, like I said,

I, if you asked anybody who might,

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anybody in my family, they'd be like,

your friend Emma, I'm like, yes.

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and

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your friend Alex.

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Yeah.

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Those are the people that they would name.

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Yeah.

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and I agree it's, and that's

something that I think is

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special about our friendship

and being a lifelong friendship.

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do you remember when we met?

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Fourth

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Emma: grade.

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Yeah.

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Yeah?

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Lacey: Do you remember where?

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I remember, I like, I can picture it

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Emma: Swim team.

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Lacey: The swim team.

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Emma: Oh, yeah.

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I think

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Lacey: it was a bigger deal for

me because it was you and Lauren.

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And so I was like, I have friends.

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It's

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Emma: funny because I was thinking about

this morning and I have a fourth grader.

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Yeah.

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Okay, I've got a fourth grader and a

fifth grader and there's so many times

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where I look at her friends and I think,

You have to live up to Laci's potential.

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You have to live up to Lauren.

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Oh, over there.

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I see you, Leah.

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I see you.

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And so it's just so interesting to see,

the people she surrounds herself with.

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And she's a mini me.

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And so a lot of them, I'm

like, oh, that's her Laci.

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It's just so neat because I think, yeah.

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we attract certain people in our lives.

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Yeah.

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Lacey: And I, but I

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Emma: just.

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Lacey: we met and I remember literally we

were in, was it like the Y in Springfield?

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Like it was such a random place where

we would have our pre season stuff.

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Emma: it was Trotwood.

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Was

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Lacey: it?

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I don't know.

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It might have been.

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And because I just remember thinking, Oh

my gosh, it takes forever to get there.

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Emma: Yes, and it wasn't that warm.

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Like it was always cold

and the showers were gross.

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Yeah.

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Lacey: and it was the first

time I had ever done swim team

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and all these different things.

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And I just remember being like, Oh,

okay, this isn't going to be so bad.

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And sitting next to you and Lauren

on the side of the pool, like I

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just, I have that visual in my head.

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And then, luckily, we were on

swim team all summer, and then

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we were in the same class.

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And I think, I know it sounds dumb,

but I think those are the things that

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really just solidified and made it easy.

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because I do, I think about

different periods of time.

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And a few, Months ago, I said I

was never anyone's best friend,

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and you were like, ma'am.

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Emma: I know.

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I was like, ouch.

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Do you not remember?

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Lacey: do, but I think it's one of those

things where we always think that we're

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not as important to somebody else, because

I also can think about in our friendship,

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there's always been other people that

you, and I don't know if you would

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say it the backward, would, I would be

like, that's Emma's best friend, not me.

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And I,

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that's so dumb.

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I just want to say, I know it's dumb.

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No,

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Emma: but I think we all feel that

way at times, even in our lives

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now, I'm not the person they go to.

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You know what I mean?

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Yeah.

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Lacey: but I think That set us up for

a lifelong friendship where you didn't

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always have to be the person all the time.

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And I didn't always have to be the

person all the time, but you knew I was

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always there and I knew you were always

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Emma: there.

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Absolutely.

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The pressure wasn't on.

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No.

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But I knew the minute I needed you,

you'd be right there and vice versa.

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Lacey: and it doesn't hurt that,

there was several summers where

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you essentially lived at my house.

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Emma: Oh my gosh.

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I, yes.

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Lacey: I was thinking about the other day,

the time that the, and the power went out.

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And we were, it was me,

you and my mom and dad.

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And we couldn't get into the house

cause we only used the garage.

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Emma: Why don't I remember

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Lacey: And I remember we went to Bob

Evans and I just, I don't know why.

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I just remember this moment.

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I'm like, yeah, of course I was there.

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Emma: course, yes.

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I was there for everything.

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Lacey: everything.

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Emma: you remember, I think

it's a school around here.

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Your dad had a Wendy's event.

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And we came down here

to help run the event.

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Lacey: Was it a rollerblading event?

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Yes.

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Emma: Or a bicycle or something.

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And I remember thinking, man, I'm so

gonna get a frosty at the end of this.

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I can't wait.

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and I think I ended up with a banana.

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And I was like, wait, this isn't.

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Always

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Lacey: a little more

shortchange than you thought.

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It's so

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Emma: funny because I remember every car.

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You remember the Saab?

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Lacey: Oh, I know.

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Yeah.

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Which one?

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There were three.

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Emma: And then, I was even

thinking about Brandy's car.

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It was a convertible.

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And it leaked.

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Lacey: It was Amy's car.

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Emma: Okay.

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That I got.

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Was it red?

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Lacey: the red one, because then I got it.

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Emma: And then we sang that

Lizzie McGuire song in it.

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Lacey: I have the exact same thought.

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Emma: Oh!

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Summer.

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That summer was my favorite

summer of all time.

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Lacey: I, it was the summer before

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Emma: junior year.

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Junior year.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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That sophomore summer year.

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Lacey: we had more independence, we

could drive places, but life wasn't,

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Really all that complicated yet and

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Emma: were broke but still

had money to go out to eat.

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Yeah.

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Lacey: I spent a lot of time driving.

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I was trying to say, explain that to Joe.

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We were, because now that we live

in the Dayton area again, we were

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driving somewhere and he was like,

did we just get into the country?

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And I'm like, Yeah, that's how it works

up here is that you go not even a mile and

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you're going to be in the country again.

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I was like, did you guys

not just drive around?

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Emma: That is

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Lacey: what we did most of the time.

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Emma: You got lost to get found.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Oh, that was the best.

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at Bob Evans all the time.

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that was just

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Lacey: when

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Emma: When it opened, I remember

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Lacey: it opened and it was such a big

deal that we got a Bob Evans because

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it was a sit down place and there

weren't many sit down places like

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Emma: fancy.

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Lacey: was too old for us and all the cute

places in downtown tip weren't there and

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Emma: And then Applebee's.

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Do you remember going to

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Lacey: Applebee's in

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Emma: like that summer we spent

so much time in Applebee's.

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Ugh.

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Yeah.

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Lacey: I just, yeah, I,

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Emma: Can you imagine if we could

just go back to that for a week?

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Lacey: Just for a

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week.

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I don't

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Emma: I don't want much more

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Lacey: that.

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I

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Emma: My anxiety can't

handle that at this age.

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But ooh, a week.

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Maybe

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even one night.

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Just maybe one night.

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Lacey: I also think about times where

like, where it's like we would sneak

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out of our, my parents house and.

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Bob and Carolyn can handle it now, Emma.

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It's been a long time.

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but we would have the most wholesome fun.

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Emma: Oh, I know.

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It was so

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Lacey: wholesome.

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We never did anything that

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Emma: We literally were just running

through people's backyards barefoot.

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Lacey: And having so much fun.

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Emma: Oh yeah.

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I do think there were guys involved,

but it was never somebody we were

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with, like it was Jason Miller,

who we were just friends with.

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Lacey: Yeah, Jason Miller and

Shawn Ring, because they also did

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Emma: a Yes!

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They lived in the neighborhood.

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Lacey: did, a, they didn't toilet

paper my house, but they wrote, we

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were here when it was raining, and

so it was switched down, because they

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used to joke that they would watch our

TV through, my parents back windows.

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Emma: I could see them doing that.

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Yeah.

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And then, do you remember

the spit fest with Paige?

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Lacey: the what?

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Emma: Spit fest with

Paige in her driveway.

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We spit all over each other.

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that

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How do you not

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Lacey: I just maybe have

blocked that one out.

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Emma: mean, all of us.

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I think Paige didn't even

come down from her roof.

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I think she was just

sitting up on her roof.

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And yeah, we had a spit fest in

her yard, spitting on each other.

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I know, but it was like the middle of the

night also, Anyway, it's funny because

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I do your mom's hair, I do Paige's mom's

hair, and so I have talked to all of them.

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I don't know if I've actually ever told

your mom that we used to sneak out of

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your basement and I was probably the

instigator, but sometimes I think okay,

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I wasn't that terrible of an influence

because they still come to me and they

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still sit in my chair and they don't

resent me for the things I've done.

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Did with their children,

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Lacey: You are not a bad influence!

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I don't think so.

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I

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Emma: I was a little bit more

of the rebel between all of

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Lacey: yeah, but I also,

I didn't do anything.

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that was, like, I didn't even get

a detention in our entire school

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career or anything like that.

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I never got in trouble.

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I don't know, it just didn't occur.

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I guess it did occur to me.

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I don't know.

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I don't know.

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But I never would do

anything I wasn't comfortable

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That is something that I

know I, I did have some.

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Yeah.

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And looking back now, I don't want my

children to know this, but if they did the

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things that I did as far as like sneaking

out and what we did, I would be okay with

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Emma: too.

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Oh yeah.

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Lacey: that's part of figuring

out your independence and part of

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becoming

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who you are and testing boundaries

and I still think about some of

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the times when we did have conflict

about it and it did not Go well.

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and that, but that was a

learning experience for me.

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I love you're just like deep in

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Emma: Cause I don't, I, there's so

many things that I don't remember.

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I My mom always says, did you

block out your entire childhood?

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And I'm like, I don't think I

blocked out the entire thing, but

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there's so many moments that I don't

remember, but majority of them were

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in your basement, or in your kitchen,

or Do you remember the cha cha?

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What was it?

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Lacey: the cha cha?

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Emma: We did your kitchen was a

runway where we did a catwalk.

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The catwalk song.

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Yeah.

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In your kitchen over and

over for probably an hour.

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And your parents never stopped us.

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Lacey: I don't remember

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Emma: don't think I would let my children

do that, because I would be so annoyed,

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and they were just like, yeah, go for it.

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Lacey: Yeah, I don't, yeah,

I don't remember that.

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being in the basement,

especially before it got

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Emma: before.

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Lacey: and we would, roll around

on the ab rollers and stuff.

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And we would

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Emma: each other.

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Yeah.

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Oh, man.

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Lacey: Yeah, those are like,

when I think about girlhood,

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it's more, Closer to that time.

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Emma: Yes.

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And like the, whatever scary

thing that was in your closet

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for the Christmas decoration that

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Lacey: the homemade Santa that my parents

made that haunted your nightmares.

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Emma: All the time, yes.

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But that's what I, that's what

I think about, that fun we had.

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Yeah.

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I hope my kids get that, like you said.

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I'm just like, oh, I want

them to have those memories.

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Lacey: And I want them.

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I don't want to be a part of them.

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that's something else that I,

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I

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think my parents did a really good job

of being available for us, but they

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were not hovering or anything like that.

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I think they had a really good

balance of that and I appreciate that.

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Emma: I think you are so lucky that

your mom is so wise, but yet she's

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so discerning on probably giving you

ideas, but never telling you what to do.

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And just knowing her now as an adult,

but also looking back on our childhood

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and thinking about the things and

how she was involved, but yet, It

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was always in such a positive light.

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she was always there to help.

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She was always there to take care of us.

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She was so nurturing.

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But it was never like,

you should do it this way.

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And it's just, that's unheard of.

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Lacey: Because I do think of some of our

friends where we didn't go to their house

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because it was like, you have to do things

this way and this way and all this stuff.

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And I remember going to Lauren's house

once and I was talking about a comedian

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and I'm like, and he doesn't curse.

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And you guys were like, Oh, And

I'm like, it's a good thing.

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Emma: Yeah.

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that's good

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Lacey: thing that

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Emma: That is such

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Lacey: but it's just that it

existed that it was like, that it

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would be a thing I think consider.

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So I do know what you mean

when it comes to that.

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Emma: work.

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She was so good.

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Yeah.

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Lacey: Carolyn's the bomb.

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if there is one outcome of this podcast,

it's mostly that Carolyn's the bomb.

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Emma: just, yeah.

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I'm bragging about how amazing we all want

to be Carolyn Bradley when we grow up.

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Lacey: she would think is crazy.

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Like, why would we want that?

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yeah.

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Emma: She's so good.

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But okay, let's talk about

your sisters because, and Rob.

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It's funny because looking back

also, I feel like I remember more

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memories of being around York.

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Family, which is wild because you're so

distant in age from the older ones, but

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yet they still included you in so much.

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And so so many of my memories when

I was at your house involved your

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sisters and them either taking us

places or hanging out with us or

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Kira doing our makeup on Christmas.

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Do you remember that?

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Lacey: No, I believe you though.

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Emma: I think I brought over a

new kit and she's let's play.

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And she like sat and did our

makeup and Borrowing Becky's shorts

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Lacey: and,

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Emma: and Amy driving us all

over and taking us to the movies

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Lacey: movie,

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Emma: and then hanging out in

Brandi's room in the basement.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Lacey: because she had a cat,

and I was so excited about

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Emma: it.

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Yes, and we had to play

with the cat and watch WWE.

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Lacey: It's funny that you say that,

because I, In my mind, my childhood

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was not spent with my family,

like with my siblings very often.

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I spent a lot of time one

on one with my mom and dad.

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And so it's funny to hear you say that.

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Now, I do remember, the frustration.

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I'll never forget Rob being like,

damn it, I have to take you to

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Emma: Emma's.

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And I'm

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Lacey: yeah, you do.

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Emma: you do!

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So far out there, isn't it?

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I know Matt was saying the other day,

the girls have volleyball and they don't

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get out till 840 and that's really late.

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And he's Will you just see if they

can find a friend to bring them home?

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And I instantly, locked

up, We can't do that.

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We can't do that to them.

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Because I live so far away that

I still remember having to ask

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my friends, Can you take me home?

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And then being like, oh, like my, I

even had a couple that would drop me off

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at the end of the driveway because my

driveway was a quarter of a mile long, and

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they're like, okay, I'll take you home,

but I'm not going down your driveway.

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Lacey: Rob did that to

me at a certain point.

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I'm not getting

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Emma: my car dirty.

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It's so long, I know.

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Yes, and the potholes,

and yes, oh my goodness.

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Lacey: But, I was trying to explain to Joe

that your house growing up was also like,

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almost like this other reality for us

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Emma: was an island.

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Lacey: was out in the middle of nowhere.

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and so I just, it was another kind of

space for that like rebellious, but

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also very innocuous in a lot of ways.

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I just, I think I hear other people's

stories of growing up and I'm like, man,

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Emma: man.

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I know.

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The things we could have done

that we didn't do because we

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were too busy being dorks.

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we were playing in the barn, or, do you

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Lacey: away from the goat, because it

would charge us every once in a while.

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Emma: about that goat all the time.

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And I don't even think,

that's a part of my life.

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That Matt will never know, my husband,

and I'm like, you'll never know that side

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of me, no matter how many times I tell

you this story, you just don't get it.

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Yeah.

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And so that is

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Lacey: you now, you probably wouldn't

know, Emma would drive us around on

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a gator and go as fast as possible.

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Oh my gosh.

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Emma: gosh, thank you for saying that,

because that is proof that I was fun.

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Because now I'm the one that's

no, we can't go too fast.

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No, I'm the, yeah, scaredy cat.

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Lacey: I would say that's been a

big shift that I, you were more,

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I don't want, I don't want to say reckless

because I don't think you were reckless,

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but you were more comfortable with risk.

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Okay.

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Emma: I think I got drunk in the eighth

grade and went to a football game,

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Lacey: See, and those

things, I wasn't part of.

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Emma: Nope.

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Yeah, that was my rebel phase.

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Lacey: it, but it's so funny because

nobody ever, like you guys, nobody,

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everybody just kept that away

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Emma: from me.

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Lacey: me.

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Emma: And it's weird, because I think

there were moments where you were

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there, but it wasn't, we knew better

than to even, And it wasn't like,

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no, we shouldn't offer that to Laci.

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It was just like, oh no, more for me.

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I

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Lacey: was oblivious a lot.

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Emma: Yeah, it's for the best, really.

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Which

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Lacey: is fine.

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I, it is funny, like I said, now that,

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I don't know if you've heard

me talk about human design,

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Emma: Yes, manifester.

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manifester.

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Yes.

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Lacey: And part of being a manifester is

that I have what's called a closed aura,

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which at first I was so offended by.

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I'm like, oh my gosh, do people think I'm

this closed off person and all this stuff?

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And it's no, it's just that

I'm able to keep stuff back.

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But it also means back.

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people, I don't get a lot of stuff

that other people get because they

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don't feel like they can do it to

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me.

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There's just something about my

aura or whatever that's like that.

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And I think about times like that

where I'm like, huh, that was that

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Emma: in place, wasn't it?

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Lacey: it?

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They were just like, yeah,

that's not going to be for her.

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And that's just how everybody was.

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It was okay.

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Yeah.

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Emma: It's almost yeah, we, but I also

think you've always been one that we

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always wanted to respect, in a way,

because it was like, no, because you

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are so good at being well mannered.

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I don't want to say a perfectionist,

but you're always one that never

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wanted to really tiptoe the lines.

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And so I think for a long time there

were so many moments where it was like,

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oh no, we can't get her in trouble.

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I don't care if I get in trouble,

but we can't get Lacey in trouble.

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oh, yeah.

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Lacey: Again, conversations that.

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yeah.

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I do, look back now at times and

I'm like, oh, that's probably why

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I wasn't invited to that or why

this didn't, and I don't care now.

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At the time, I was probably devastated.

501

Emma: I know, I think about so

many times where even just middle

502

school, there was like a table that

people would sit at and it was like.

503

Oh, I want to be invited

to sit at that table.

504

And now I look back, I'm like,

thank gosh, I wasn't at that

505

table because we had so much fun.

506

do you remember taking a bag of chips

and breaking it up into a million pieces

507

and then putting it on the sandwich?

508

Like that.

509

Lacey: See, and it's funny that you say

that because I, and this is all made

510

up stuff, I just want to be very clear.

511

I always felt like you were

like the most popular girl ever.

512

Emma: No.

513

Yes.

514

You are hilarious.

515

No, thank you for saying that.

516

But at the same time, I do feel like I've

always been a people pleaser like you.

517

So I always wanted to be well liked.

518

But at the end of the day, I feel

like I know who I want to be around.

519

I don't know, and that's something that's

been a bigger in my life as I've gotten

520

older is like I'm very protective of

the energy I put out of who I'm around.

521

And I feel like even as a kid,

there were times that I was like

522

that without really knowing it.

523

Where I was more guarded because I knew

they would probably hurt my feelings.

524

And I wasn't willing to put

myself in that situation.

525

Lacey: Yeah,

526

Emma: But, I think back on even

junior high, we had so much fun.

527

Like, When I think about junior high,

freshman year, sophomore year, even just

528

that one day, do you remember there was

one day, I think it was after a dance,

529

you, me, and Lauren went down to the park

and then we went to the dollar store and

530

Lacey: I got hit by the car?

531

Emma: no, but we do have

to circle back to that.

532

But it was just like a

beautiful spring day.

533

I think it was after like the spring

dance and Yumi and Lauren went to the

534

dollar store and we got silly little

things like a picture frame and we

535

just laid on the bridge by the creek

and we just had this like magical day.

536

I can probably find pictures

from it, but it was just like

537

the most perfect spring day.

538

And I was just like, this life is good.

539

Yeah.

540

Lacey: There were a lot of those days.

541

Emma: I do feel like Tip City as

a whole, looking at it, there's

542

negative connotations to it,

but also the simplicity of how

543

easy life was, it was safe.

544

let's get real.

545

That town is pretty safe.

546

But also, just, it's a little

podunky to where those simple

547

things, Made us so happy.

548

Lacey: it's suburban

idyllic in a lot of ways.

549

I

550

was so ignorant to so much, which I am

simultaneously grateful for and sad about,

551

and it's hard to reconcile those two

552

Emma: Yes, absolutely.

553

Lacey: obviously, there's a lot that I

just was oblivious to, just because I'm

554

me, let alone because I lived there.

555

Emma: Oh no.

556

When I moved to Cincinnati, I felt so

embarrassed and shamed of how ignorant

557

my mindset was because of how I grew up.

558

But at the same time, I

was so eager to learn that.

559

Lacey: You've always been a

very open minded person though.

560

I feel like that shame is probably

more self imposed because you want it.

561

Emma: maybe not.

562

shame's not the best word.

563

I guess it would be more

564

embarrassed.

565

Like I should have known better.

566

yeah, Like, how did I not know that?

567

Lacey: There are a lot of things

that I'm like, I didn't know

568

Emma: I know man,

569

Lacey: but I do wanna say, I wanna

have little chapters of our life

570

because I would say junior high

into that early part of high school

571

was really, you and I were very

572

Emma: Yes.

573

Freshman homecoming.

574

Best dance ever.

575

Lacey: It was just the girls.

576

Emma: Just the girls.

577

Yeah.

578

And your dad made us dinner.

579

Lacey: Yeah, that sounds right.

580

Emma: That steak, I still think about.

581

That shrimp cocktail, still think about.

582

And there was probably some

bomb dessert that was amazing.

583

Lacey: was probably gator

584

Emma: Sitting at the table

with the candles lit.

585

And it was just the greatest experience.

586

no dance will ever top that.

587

Lacey: Yeah.

588

And it was our first dance too,

589

Emma: Yeah.

590

And it was in the old high

school, which was, Rough.

591

Hot.

592

Do you remember how hot

593

Lacey: I do remember how hot it was.

594

There's a couple pictures where you

can just see the sweat on people's

595

Emma: I know.

596

What did we do after?

597

Lacey: I don't know.

598

Emma: I feel like we had to

have spent the night at your

599

Lacey: That's my guess.

600

Yeah.

601

but then I would say

maybe late high school.

602

We weren't necessarily as

close, but again, still, because

603

you were like working a lot,

you were doing cheerleading.

604

Emma: I fell off the map my senior year.

605

Yeah.

606

I did.

607

I only was at the high school one class.

608

and I also was dating Aaron

and lived in Cincinnati at that

609

time, but to loop back around.

610

Yeah.

611

Lacey: After that, when we, when I went

to college, you were living in Cincinnati

612

then, and you would come pick me up at my

dorm, and we would just go out and about.

613

Emma: Do you remember me

cutting your hair in the dorm?

614

Lacey: Yes, I do.

615

Emma: The dorm bathroom.

616

And

617

Lacey: it was such a gross

618

Emma: I know.

619

Do you remember your, yeah, and

that was your freshman, roommate.

620

Lacey: Takara.

621

Yeah.

622

Emma: Also, not to bring up food

again, but I also remember one of my

623

favorite memories of when I was 19

was that you took me to the cafeteria.

624

So with not going to college, I didn't

understand how cafeterias worked.

625

And you swiped your card for me.

626

Yeah.

627

And it was.

628

An all you can eat buffet.

629

And so now when you talk

about the Travis Kelsey thing.

630

Yeah.

631

I think about that cafeteria.

632

I'm like, oh, I've been

in there and it is good.

633

Top notch quality campus food.

634

Yeah,

635

Lacey: when I passed out and you

weren't that was Mel was there that day.

636

Yeah, it was a special

637

Emma: day.

638

Yeah.

639

Lacey: but I would say we stayed

pretty tight during that time for sure.

640

I would say it was mostly

when you moved back up to TIP.

641

Emma: And then I had a couple kids.

642

Lacey: Yeah,

643

Emma: Yeah, that usually gets in the way.

644

Lacey: And it's

645

Emma: I know.

646

Mhm.

647

Mhm.

648

Lacey: I will say, I associate you

with some of the most difficult times.

649

Emma: I'm so sorry.

650

Lacey: No, not, it was never your fault.

651

It was always like, I had to be

brave to be a good friend to you.

652

I was like, Oh my gosh,

I'm going to throw up.

653

Emma: I actually, to be honest,

you are taken out of that equation.

654

Yes.

655

So don't worry.

656

Like

657

Lacey: it's so funny because I'm like,

because I did, I worried for a while.

658

? Emma: No, not at all.

659

No, no.

660

Because

661

Lacey: somebody had brought

something to me because they

662

knew I was friends with you.

663

And I was like, oh.

664

Emma: It is funny, because when

I, yeah, I hear that name, and

665

I'm like, oh, that's so funny.

666

That's funny.

667

She delivered some news to me,

but at the same time she was wise

668

because I at that time was so

in denial that I was like, nope,

669

Lacey: Kudos to her for being brave.

670

Emma: I, and absolutely because

I, after that scenario, I had so

671

many people come up to me and go, I

saw and I just couldn't tell you.

672

And every time somebody says that to

me, I literally just seriously, like you

673

don't respect me enough to think that I

should deserve to know that information.

674

So when I was actually dating.

675

I, got on dating sites.

676

I saw someone's husband on there

and I screenshot it and it took

677

me two days to come up with

the courage to send it to her.

678

And she was like, actually,

we're already separated.

679

I just haven't put it on Facebook.

680

And I was like, Oh, thank God.

681

Lacey: I have a my stomach hurts now

thinking about how I felt that day

682

Emma: I know.

683

been through it all.

684

They say

685

Lacey: we have.

686

We've I think since then we've

been a little bit more, space, but.

687

Emma: thank God for technology.

688

Yeah, I think that is such a good thing

because I can still keep up with your

689

life I still know what you're doing.

690

I still get to see your babies I still get

to like partake in everything and actually

691

having your mom as a client I get to catch

up with everything like oh, how's Becky?

692

How's Lacey?

693

but also The benefit of social

media is that I get to see you but

694

I also feel like that takes away

695

Lacey: The need to reach out.

696

Yes.

697

Emma: in a negative way.

698

Yeah.

699

and even as I was driving over here today,

I was like, oh man, it's five minutes

700

Lacey: I know.

701

It's so close, Ev.

702

Emma: so embarrassed that I

haven't been over here yet.

703

you just wait.

704

We're coming over every day in the summer.

705

You think I spent a lot

of time in your basement.

706

Lacey: time in your basement.

707

Emma: Now that I know

how cute your house is.

708

Lacey: We have a great backyard.

709

Oh, I see the

710

Emma: I see the fence.

711

I'm like, oh, we could just let the kids

out there and not even worry about them.

712

That's

713

Lacey: that's my dream.

714

Oh.

715

Yeah.

716

I want to get a play set so

I truly can just be like, go

717

occupy yourselves, please.

718

So we've had those different periods of

719

Emma: What,

720

looking back, what was

your favorite season?

721

Lacey: I would agree that time where

we were early adolescence, 8th.

722

Freshman?

723

Yeah.

724

I remember hating 7th grade.

725

I don't know why.

726

But I remember eighth grade being okay.

727

Sophomore year was a big turning year

for me because, I got my braces off.

728

I've looked the same since sophomore

729

Emma: year.

730

Yes, exactly.

731

Yes.

732

100%.

733

Lacey: I also, that's when I

would say I had my glow up in

734

life is during sophomore year.

735

That's when I got my car.

736

And I do just think about.

737

I had a convertible and it was

the greatest thing possible.

738

Do you, were you in the car

when we were driving and Paige

739

was in the passenger seat?

740

I want to say you were in the back

and somebody else's back there.

741

And we were had the card at the top down

and we pulled up next to a car and it was

742

like an older gentleman in a cowboy hat

743

And

744

Emma: and he just had to pee.

745

Yes!

746

Lacey: and she rolled up the

747

Emma: window.

748

Yes!

749

I think Sarah Groom was in there too.

750

Yes!

751

Yes!

752

She was in the back with me.

753

Oh, was she?

754

Yes!

755

I will

756

Lacey: never forget that moment

of Paige, there isn't a ceiling.

757

Emma: I know.

758

That is one of those days where I

feel like we were driving up and down.

759

I'm going to call it Poe

Avenue, but that's not right.

760

Miller Lane.

761

For some reason we were at Miller Lane.

762

Yeah.

763

I don't think that instance was at

Miller Lane, but I remember driving

764

up and down Miller Lane listening to

that Lizzie McGuire song over and over.

765

you

766

Lacey: going to see the

Lizzie McGuire movie?

767

Oh yeah.

768

Because that is another

canon moment for me too.

769

Yes.

770

Because it was one of the first times

where it was like, oh, we're old

771

enough that we got dropped off at.

772

Cece's Pizza.

773

We got and ate our pizza and paid for it

ourselves and then we went over to the

774

dollar store and bought stuff and then

we walked to the movie theater and saw

775

the movie together and I think that's

part of the reason why I will always

776

love that movie is because I associate

it with that day and that experience.

777

Yeah

778

Emma: And officially feeling

like I am a grown up.

779

Yeah.

780

Lacey: I remember just being like,

781

heck yeah.

782

Emma: freedom!

783

Yes.

784

Lacey: We're old enough to do this now.

785

Emma: feel like we even

had pictures from that.

786

And I think I was burnt.

787

Was it summer?

788

It must have been summer.

789

Lacey: Do you want to talk

about when I got hit by the

790

Emma: Yes.

791

Please.

792

let's Small Town, USA.

793

Four traffic lights.

794

We were on a side street.

795

There's a grocery store right there.

796

Do you remember we were, why

were we even down, were we on

797

Lacey: We were coming back from the pool.

798

We were on bikes.

799

Okay,

800

Emma: pause.

801

I think about all the time that our

parents let us ride our bikes to the pool.

802

What age was that?

803

Because there is no way that I would

ever let my 5th grader ride her bike to

804

Lacey: want to say it

was seventh and eighth

805

Emma: Okay,

806

that makes more sense.

807

Lacey: Rode our bikes to the pool.

808

Here's the, here's what

I remember about it.

809

I was in the back and I

was always getting left

810

Emma: so

811

Lacey: I was like, damn it,

I'm going to be in the front.

812

And literally the next

block, I was in the front.

813

And looking back now, I'm

814

Emma: like,

815

Lacey: everybody was

wrong in this scenario.

816

Where there was somebody, she

was a young, She was probably

817

like, what, 18, girl, driving.

818

She was at a stop sign

and it is a tight turn.

819

Like it's, the building goes very

close to the sidewalk, to the street.

820

And got to the sidewalk, she was stopped,

I kept going, the, and she hit me, not

821

very hard, but enough to knock me down.

822

Oh

823

Emma: Oh yes, like

straight up hit by a car.

824

Lacey: And then I popped up and

was like, everything's okay, no

825

one look at me, no one talk to

me, and I was like, we're going.

826

And then we got 10 feet down the

road, and I heard the sirens,

827

Emma: and you have to think, back then

there weren't really cell phones, so

828

somebody must have saw it and just called.

829

And do you remember

how many vehicles came?

830

That was when I learned that every time

an ambulance comes, a fire truck comes.

831

Yeah.

832

And four police cars.

833

And I feel like there were

two fire trucks, just in case.

834

Lacey: I just, I remember, all I

remember is the mortification of

835

it, of one, I got hit by a car.

836

Emma: I know.

837

And probably your adrenaline

was going so strong.

838

And

839

Lacey: had to make the point

that I wanted to be in the front.

840

Emma: That's alright.

841

Lacey: Like that

842

Emma: part is

843

Lacey: solidified in my mind and,

I just wanted to walk it off.

844

I didn't want to deal with it.

845

And nope, the universe

did not let that happen.

846

Emma: you weren't going

to get away this time.

847

I can remember just thinking,

we're all going to get in trouble.

848

Lacey: trouble.

849

This

850

Emma: this was probably my fault.

851

How are we all going to

get in trouble right now?

852

Lacey: No, I, Everyone was

853

Emma: man.

854

And your parents came, didn't they?

855

I feel like they came, yes.

856

Lacey: Probably.

857

It would have been I would hope

858

Emma: I would hope they

859

Lacey: my 8th grader got hit by

a car, then I would get called.

860

Emma: That is the wild part about

our childhood too, because your

861

parents were home all of the time.

862

Lacey: My, my parents worked out of

the house before other people did that.

863

Yeah,

864

Emma: That didn't exist.

865

But I remember your dad's office.

866

You did not go in those doors.

867

He just, if he was in

there, he was doing work.

868

But it was so interesting because

every time we were there, your

869

parents were always there and that

was so comforting in a weird way.

870

Where I think most kids want

the parents not to be home.

871

But can we discuss frozen burritos?

872

Lacey: Really?

873

Emma: Yeah.

874

As long

875

Lacey: Spray, butter from your house.

876

Emma: house.

877

Easy Mac, PB& J.

878

I asked this question on my story the

other day, and the responses were so sad.

879

it was just like, oh, really?

880

That's what you had?

881

there were Dunkaroos.

882

Somebody said Dunkaroos.

883

But I feel like my house was

PB& J, Easy Mac, spray butter,

884

Lacey: And we, there were some, we

tried to bake with the spray butter.

885

That was always the

886

Emma: We always tried to make cookies.

887

Lacey: And we never stopped.

888

Emma: were successful.

889

And they never really tasted good.

890

Lacey: But I'd make cookies.

891

We ate the dough.

892

I don't, did we ever

even cook the cookies?

893

Emma: No, but I still feel like I

remember the smell of your pantry.

894

It was funny.

895

Cause I remember the smell of your

basement before it got finished.

896

And then I remembered the smell of

your basement after it got finished

897

and they were two completely different.

898

It's very sad, but okay, the frozen

burritos, you'd wrap it in a paper towel.

899

You'd put it in your microwave, 30

seconds, flip it another 30 seconds,

900

put it on the plate, sour cream.

901

You always had salsa.

902

Who always has salsa in the refrigerator?

903

You guys always did.

904

And it was just this always

there kind of situation that

905

was so reliable and so yummy.

906

Lacey: It sounds like my household

was just a reliable place

907

Emma: It was.

908

I think that's, and you have always

been that for me, where even during my

909

wedding, everything was so chaotic and

you were just this anchor in the entire

910

storm of my life, where you were just

like peace and you knew what to do.

911

And you were the person I

took wedding shopping dress.

912

Do you remember that?

913

I do.

914

I didn't take family.

915

I didn't take, no, I took Lacey.

916

My bridesmaid with me to

go find my wedding dress.

917

Actually, we went before

I was even engaged.

918

I think I was probably 18 at the time.

919

Lacey: we went, yeah, and we went

to the David's Bridal in Kenwood.

920

Yep,

921

Emma: and we had to

pretend a bunch of stuff.

922

Yeah, and then actually I

think I got engaged at 19.

923

So then we actually went

back to Wendy's at 19.

924

Yeah, that's hilarious.

925

And you were just always that

stable, reliable, always there.

926

Lacey: Can I say how

grateful I am to hear that?

927

Because I don't feel like that

person anymore since I've been

928

sick.

929

I feel like I can't show up anymore.

930

So to hear that you, one, had

that perception of me, and I was

931

right that was who I was, but

that you still see that in me.

932

Emma: I think you are still that person.

933

It just goes to show.

934

Maybe for other people will come off.

935

if I know if I'm going to text

you, you're going to text me back.

936

Yeah.

937

So you're still that same person,

just maybe physically you have

938

a little bit more limitations.

939

Yeah.

940

But that doesn't affect who you are.

941

Lacey: It's hard to not, when you think of

yourself in a certain way, because that's

942

what kind of friend I would always like

to think I am, is that maybe I was not,

943

like I said, I didn't think I was people's

best friend, but I knew, I think people

944

knew if they ever needed me, I was there.

945

and so then when I get sick,

got sick, it was just hard.

946

to realize that I can't

be there in the same way.

947

and even honestly, no one's

been like, Laci, I need you.

948

But, I, the, not having the

ability to do that is hard.

949

Yeah.

950

It's but is that still part of me?

951

And obviously it is.

952

I know logically.

953

I think the, as I get older, the more I

learn about friendships is that I care

954

less about what someone would think

is like quality of I spend all this

955

time with this person, like a TV show

friends, like that type of friendship.

956

I don't.

957

want and or need that.

958

I don't.

959

And that I value the people who

want the most from me but expect the

960

Emma: Yes.

961

Lacey: And I mean that in a very great

way of I would love to have all of

962

this time with you, but I love any

963

time I get

964

Emma: you.

965

Very much quality over quantity.

966

Yes.

967

Yes, and like even one deep, vulnerable

conversation would mean more than

968

years worth of simple dinners where

stupid conversations discussed.

969

You know what I mean?

970

Yeah.

971

Yeah.

972

Lacey: Yeah.

973

I will say, it makes me sad, and maybe

this can change, that our, your girls

974

don't really know me very well, and

that my kids don't really know you.

975

Actually really upsets me.

976

Me too.

977

Okay.

978

Emma: could not agree.

979

and the fact of I was explaining all

these things to Matt, I'm like, oh, that's

980

not, I'm like, you don't really know her.

981

you're my husband.

982

How do you not know that piece of my life?

983

Because she's so important.

984

she makes up a large

percentage of who I am.

985

The fact that you don't know that

makes me feel like you don't know me.

986

Yeah.

987

Yeah.

988

And now that you don't know my kids

and my kids don't know your kids, but.

989

I think this is so good, too,

because I feel like this is, a

990

shifting point, like a pivot.

991

okay, how can we make this more?

992

Yeah.

993

Yeah.

994

Lacey: Yeah, because I agree.

995

I, because that's one of the things

that I've always been jealous of Leah.

996

So Leah is, our mutual friend, but

really has been your friend since what?

997

Emma: Yeah.

998

Lacey: is that I feel like she

has such a special relationship

999

with everybody in your life.

And I'm like, Oh, yeah.

I don't have that, but I'm

more and more okay with it.

Emma: she is, she's just one that

I will open up my Snapchat and I

haven't responded in five days and

she still has texted me every single

day and I'm like, oh, you're still

Lacey: still

Emma: Hi, you haven't given up on me.

Lacey: and I think I, I enjoy

your all's friendship because

you're so different in life now.

Yes.

I

Emma: Could not be more

opposite with everything.

Lacey: I know, but I enjoy

how much you enjoy each other.

as a, I think that is something

that, again, as you get rid of, that

mentality of, being the most important

person, you get to see and enjoy your

friend's relationships with other

Emma: Absolutely, I think about Alex

and how she was the one here helping

you with your house and like putting

things together, I'm like, I am so

grateful and I cherish that you have

that person that can just swoop in and

take over when you need it and you know

she's going to do it probably better

than what you would have even done.

Lacey: she got, she

hung all the pictures in

Emma: the couch.

Exactly.

Lacey: just

Emma: a level like, okay, we can do this.

Lacey: can do this.

this and just never start.

Emma: No.

No.

We would just sit on

the couch and watch TV.

Or make a frozen burrito.

Let's get real.

Lacey: I don't have frozen burritos,

but now I'm like, we should get some.

Emma: I know.

Like, where do you think they are?

I'll figure

Lacey: they've got to have

some at Costco, right?

Emma: Oh, definitely.

Definitely.

Lacey: Definitely.

got to have some

Emma: I know Whole Foods has them,

but they're probably more crunchy.

beans involved.

Yeah.

No, but there were beans.

There were

Lacey: be refried and meat esque

Emma: Taco Bell, quality meat.

Yes.

And Taco Bell.

Quality refried beans.

'cause sometimes I think the

beans are still like beans.

no, I just want mush.

Lacey: Yes, exactly.

No, this should have gone

through some kind of industrial

Emma: Yes, exactly.

Like virtually cat food

wrapped in a burrito.

Oh, man.

Lacey: It's funny that

you remember the burritos.

I don't remember the burritos.

Emma: You know what is a pivotal life

changing moment that I had because of you?

I met Hanson.

Lacey: Yes.

Emma: Taylor Hanson.

And I will say, they always say,

don't meet your celebrity crush.

I get it now because after that

day, It just wasn't the same.

It wasn't, I had him on a soapbox and

now he's just sitting on the ground.

But

Lacey: shorter than you'd

expect, I think, too.

I don't know.

He just was small.

Emma: It was really early

in the morning also.

It probably was.

But that was still one of

the best days of my life.

sitting in that little studio downtown

Dayton, I remember getting up at the crack

of dawn, your dad running through and

getting frosties for the entire band, and

just getting down there, and the fact that

you invited me to that, forever grateful.

Lacey: It's so funny.

Wendy's was such a big part

of my life, and I don't know

how to explain that to people.

Emma: You were Wendy in the parade.

Lacey: A couple of times.

I wasn't as much as Amy and Becky.

I was too big

Emma: I feel like Amy

is the perfect Wendy.

I

Lacey: Amy is perfect at

Emma: something.

I know.

Lacey: But

because my dad had his franchise,

and that's the reason why we moved

up to Tip City, And my parents are

do it yourselfers in a lot of ways.

my parents and my siblings cut the

grass, they worked in the stores,

and all those different things.

That was my first job.

But Wendy's, was always,

a family member, almost?

Yeah, probably.

this weird family member that, had some

cool opportunities, like meeting Hanson.

Emma: Oh, yeah.

Lacey: but also sometimes

where we had to go to,

Emma: pick weeds in the flowerbed.

I'll never forget that one.

And like mulch.

Why was there always mulch?

I felt like we, you mulched four

times a year at those places.

Lacey: Don't.

That's Carolyn.

I don't know.

Okay.

she and I joke about

our different standards.

She like looks at my yard and

I'm like, what can we get rid of?

And she was like, I don't,

I'm trying to think about it.

It's

Emma: we have rock beds because

we don't do landscaping.

Lacey: I think that's

Emma: It's so smart.

Lacey: I literally Googled what

are ground cover flowers that we

can just take up any of the beds

and then put ground cover flowers.