Good Days and Bad Days Mini-Episode

Welcome to sharing the middle of we're recovering perfectionist overachievers, and anyone in the middle of a struggle. Come together to learn, to embrace the messy middles of life. I am Lacy your friend in the middle and guide whose claim to fame this week is literally just making my bed just now all by myself, which is huge. I know that may not be used you, but again, huge for me. And I'm real proud, lots of leaning over and walking around. So for someone who struggles with both of those things, I'm kicking ass today. Today is a mini episode, which means that you're here. And for me, we're going to do an essay from the middle about an ode to a good day, but also the dark side of a good day. The advice from the middle is going to be. Just for me, I'm not going to read a letter today, but instead we're going to talk through. Some of my advice for making it through a bad day. And then we'll go into Lacey loves where I have a really big and exciting announcement. So let's get started. And now an essay from the middle, the good and bad. Have a good day. I keep having more good days. This is an achievement and something to celebrate. So I wanted to document the goodness of a good day. But also be clear about the rough parts. I know, we'd all like to think it's all sunshine and rainbows. There is another side of a good day, which can often take the form of a bad day. Or bad Thoughts. Let's jump in. Getting back to myself. I've talked before about the grieving of my previous self. I've heard people talk about their previous bodies. Thinking how good they had it and how they would love to have that body now. This is kind of what it's like to me. Daydreaming about the things that my previous body was capable of. On a good day. I feel close to being that old self. I feel so close to having the energy that I used to. I feel close to filling up a room. Like I think I did before. The joy of getting there of building, being close to that person. I was really comes down to control with this control. I feel more capable of building a life than I am excited and proud of. On a good day. I have more control. I don't have the same amount of barriers. Even with my illness and even on my bad days, I really see how I am building a life. That is amazing. That is one that I'm excited to talk about and be a part of on good days. Even with that higher level of control. There are aspects of that old life that I don't feel like I have now. I don't think it's necessarily sad. I think it's actually helping me see how the old version of me fits into this new version. She comes in different ways at different times, she isn't lost and I am still a whole. Building a bank of gratitude. It is so true that once you lose something, you appreciate it more than you did before. This weekend, my kids and I had an impromptu dance party. It was so fun to just dance and be silly with them because that's a place that they were in. I could meet them there. This isn't something that I can do every day. But on Sunday, I could. My daughter and I danced. And then my son came in and he danced and there was a moment we were all just dancing and laughing and being so happy, man. I savored it and I seriously felt a joy, like never before. My whole life. I have been really good at having moments where it feels like my chest is about to explode with happiness. I could always really take that feeling in cement it and love it. But now I have that feeling and I can cement it. Love it. And just deeply appreciate it. Like never before. I recently saw a clip from an interview with Michael J. Fox, where he talks about how gratitude makes optimism sustainable. That with gratitude, we are able to be more positive in our outlook. Because we can identify the good that we have now. I think that's really what it comes down to. On, my good days, I am filling up that gratitude bucket. I'm filling it up so that I can be optimistic on the next downturn. The dark side of a good day. I really do think it's important to talk about the dark side of a good day. Life is full of ups and downs. If we don't all talk about the downs, if we don't talk about the shadowy parts. We all believe that not everybody has That we are alone in these struggles and that's just not true. Even those good days have their shadows. So I'm going to tell you about mine. Guilt. Every once in a while on a good day, I have this thought that I wouldn't be having a good day if it wasn't for the time and energy that my family puts in to help me on my bad days. And yes. That's a positive. But it comes with so much guilt, the guilt that I took advantage of them to get this good day. I know that may sound like backwards thinking and frankly, It is backward thinking. My family helps me because they love me and because they want my good days. Even with that, there's this little voice in my head, thinks I didn't deserve it. That I'm making this all up and I am taking advantage of them. I am not making it up. I'm seeing that mostly for myself and also to appease my worry that people think I am. It's a fear that I have. And it's a fear that I need to like go off. Good days are predictors of bad days. So good days have guilt. Good days. Also often bring bad days. On a good day. I want to do everything I can. Because of that, sometimes one good day can mean two bad days. Honestly in the long run. I am very, very happy to have one good day for every two bad days. That was a trade I happily am willing to make. But it's an equation then I am always running in my head. I am two days out from one of my best day so far. And I am dictating this into my phone because my body really can't handle much more. Sitting up and typing. Isn't technology magical that that's possible. I'll never not think that's cool. So, yeah, the good days come with costs. But the good days are worth it. And by appreciating these good days. I can easily make it through the bad. And that's my ode to a good day. In this advice from the mental today. We're really going to just pause and it's more of an affirmation. And I do this because one I've had a really rough week and I don't have the capacity. To really dig deep and give somebody else advice. So I'm going to give myself the advice I needed earlier this week. And I'm hoping that vice resonates with you too. Now I know my bad days probably. Look a little bit rougher. Than yours. But even Pre- Sickness Lacey had quite a few bad days. Sometimes those just looked like days where I knew I should do something and it just couldn't figure it out. And I was grumpy. Sometimes they were a series of unfortunate events. That felt like the world was against me. If I could really truly recognize. The small progress that I make every day. Not only recognize it. But actually believe and see the progress that it is. I know that. Sounds really simple. And I say it all the time. Right? But the doing is always harder. Then the saying, right? you've heard me try to do this for myself already. If you've listened to more than one episode of this podcast. In the beginning, I share my claim to fame for the week. Because. I am learning to accept. Things previously I would have. Almost shamed myself for. For thinking that they were a big deal. Actually letting them be a big deal. And I do this, not to dilute things that are an even bigger deal. But actually to give those credit because I've learned. When I start to downplay one thing. And another thing and another thing it balloons. And then nothing is ever good enough. And just saying that out loud is so dumb. Of course things are good enough. Absolutely. Good enough. This week. Even though they were late. late internally. I met my deadlines of getting all this stuff out for the middle.. That is a celebration. Yes, I met expectations. But I did it in the face of real difficulty. And that means something. It's a fine line, right? Making my bed today. Was a big deal for me. This morning, I passed out, leaning over, getting clothes out. I of my children's laundry. And still a what hour or later? I was able to get myself together enough to do just as much bending over. I'm walking around to make my bed. That's freaking awesome. And I'm allowed to think. It's awesome. So to you, my dear listener. Celebrate them. Celebrate the wins do not. Do not tear yourself down because you don't think that they're good enough. You deserve the w in your corner. Hopefully. Maybe. Future Lacey. You will listen to this advice from the middle and take her own dag on advice. Spoiler alert, maybe not. And this week, Lacey loves I can't not. Talk about Vanderpump rules. Last night, I stayed up. And watched it live on TV, which is something I. Almost never do. genuinely cannot remember the last time I chose to watch. So that I could be in the know with the rest of the world. And it did not disappoint. I am not a Brava recap podcast, but I will say. It's so interesting to see such a. Twisted. Of. Insanity come to light and to see people be held accountable. And like actual time. If you don't know anything about Vanderpump rules, essentially this man, Tom Sandovall cheated on his long-term partner. Eriana. With their best friend, Raquel. And, If it is some of the best reality TV in the world, that's not for everybody and that's fine, but it is for me. And I love it so much. I love it so much because. It's human interaction. I realized that the other day of I enjoy human stories and these are people telling their stories. Well, someone's telling their story. Someone's doing a story. I'm not getting into the realness of everything, but. It's fascinating. It is fascinating to see someone be held accountable. It's fascinating to see. Really the rebirth of a kick ass woman. And just, If you are a VPR person. Come find me and let's talk about it. Because it's. Fascinating. The other thing that I want to tell you about this week is that I am producing a second podcast. Yes, your girl is a podcast mogul now. the middle is now a podcast network, apparently. and I am partnering up with my dear friends. Sarah, you heard her on this podcast a few weeks ago in the. Women who made me series. She runs your aligned home and she's a home management consultant. Sarah helps people have their homes feel good. And then talking to Sarah. I had this idea for this podcast that is like a home make-over reality TV show. I came to light where we're going to have three participants for season one. And we are going to follow their journey. Of hearing about how their home fields, how they want their home to feel some suggestions and ideas and systems that Sarah can help them with. And then we're going to see what works and what doesn't. And that's the beauty of it is that if something doesn't work, that's still a success because we figured out a piece. It's so fun to hear Sarah. Love what she does. I just sit there and smile as she's talking, because she is so passionate. And Lovely about wanting to help people. Spoiler alert. I, my household is one of them. The holes that is going to be a participant, this first season. Joe is going to join us and we're going to try to get some systems for our home and the way that we want it to run. 'cause that's what it comes down to. At first, I had this like visceral. Oh no. How are we having a home makeover show? With no visuals. And then I thought, oh my gosh, of course we're having a home makeover show with no visuals. And it's all spoken because it's about the person's feeling in their home. And it's just their home. I don't need to know. I would love to know because you guys know that I'm nosy. I don't need to know about their mass or their, The way that it actually looks, I want to hear about how they want it to feel, how it's not feeling that way and how we can overcome it. At the core of this podcast, it's about seeing each other. For who we are, where we are and not judging. What works for them and what doesn't work for them and that kind of stuff, which is really what the middle is about. It's about putting out there. These hard things and talking about them. So that we all can feel seen where we are. So the podcast is called no shame in the home game. We have our Instagram live. If you want to go over there and and follow it, we'll be dropping the trailer next week. Hint, hint, wink, wink. It will be. Podcast speed. it is something really special and it is something that I am so excited for you all to hear. Join us along this ride. And, You know the movement to have no shame in our home game. And truly embrace and love our homes for how they feel. So we can go out into the world and spread those good feels beyond our houses. That's it from sharing the middle of this week. Thank you so much for. Being here and being with me, I really appreciate it. Have a great day.