Joyful Support Origin

Welcome to No Shame in the Home Game Sharing the Middle.

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I am Lacey, the host of Sharing

the Middle and the co host

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of No Shame in the Home Game.

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And this is being published

in both feeds here with my No

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Shame in the Home Game co host.

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Sara.

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Hi, Sara.

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Sara: Hi Lacey.

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Yeah, that was a cool introduction.

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Lacey: It just came

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Sara: said, you said you're going

to roll into this awkward and what

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came out was the opposite of awkward.

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but that's, what's fun about Lacey folks.

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You just never know.

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Lacey: You don't.

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Sara: You just roll with it and it's fun.

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Lacey: I would just want to say,

previous Lacey, would be horrified

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that you would feel that way about

me, but I have grown so much that

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I'm like, yeah, that's just who I am.

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that's part of my charm.

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We're going to just keep rolling

with it and, seeing where it goes.

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Sara: Oh, it is part of the charm.

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And that's the thing is

I love that expression.

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Variety is the spice of life.

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If everyone was the same,

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I mean, why?

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Like, so I like, and it's,

you are, how I say this?

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The variety isn't so wildly unexpected.

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It's not like you're going to show up one

day and all of a sudden, like your head's

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shaved, which would be fine if you did.

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I'm just saying that your

variety is within parameters.

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Lacey: Sara, I do have to tell you,

Joe and I were listening to our season

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2 wrap up of No Shame in the Home

Game together while we were driving

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down to my niece's graduation party

this weekend and he laughed out loud

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multiple times as what you said.

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Sara: Shut up.

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Are you?

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Wait,

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Lacey: It is true.

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he loved your reaction to the

sandwich alignment chart discussion.

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he, yeah,

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Sara: I can't, I can't even, I can't

even ask you what his reaction was

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because I, my immediate question

is where does Joe fall on the

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whole hot dog sandwich situation.

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Is he with you?

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Lacey: Joe is much

stricter in his opinions.

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and

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Sara: and I are, Joe and I?

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Lacey: Yeah.

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You and Joe are aligned.

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Yeah.

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And we had a little conversation about it

at dinner and Isaac is also very staunch

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in the, hot dog is not a sandwich camp.

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this is a no shame in the home game,

sharing the middle episode because of

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sharing the middle and no shame in

the home game are officially podcasts

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of the Joyful Sport Network, which

is part of the Joyful Sport movement.

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we also have another podcast that

will be coming from season one of No

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Shame in the Home Game participant

Sara Berry, which we are super jazzed

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about and will happen when it happens.

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It's all about finding joy and,

listening to other people's

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joy, which I cannot wait for.

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I'm so excited.

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But, we thought it was a really great

time to take a pause and explain

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Joyful Support Movement, the Joyful

Support Network, and what it is

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that Sara and I keep talking about.

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Sara: Yes, it is from the inside.

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We have been creating and creating,

but when we pop our little heads up

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from the sand and look around and we're

like, Oh wait, does everybody realize

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what we've been doing under here making

this whole time, which is and amazing.

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And we.

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When I say we, more Lacey than me has

been really hard at work making it all.

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And it is, the end point is

sharing it with everyone.

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So who you, whoever listening,

wherever you are, we're creating

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it for everyone, for you.

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Whatever you're going through in life.

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even things that are looked at

as positive, buying a new house,

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bringing home a new child,

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bringing home

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a dog.

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I didn't want to, I didn't want to,

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Lacey: It's okay.

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Sara: want to ruin it.

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Yes.

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Even going on vacation, all can

bring a certain amount of stress

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along with the usual losing.

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I don't even need to go into.

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I don't need to go into all those.

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They all come with a certain amount of

stress because something's changing.

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And that's when we need

anchors in our lives.

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We need touchstones.

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And Lacey and I, we've

been through our share.

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Everybody has.

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I don't know a single person

who hasn't had some sort of

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ups and downs in their life.

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And to have that touchstone in

that rock that you can come back

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to and just like a safe place.

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you can just say, this is what's going on.

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This is what I need to share, or this is

what's bringing me, or I need help finding

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joy, or I don't know what step to take.

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and I could go on.

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So I'm going to let Lacey say some stuff.

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Lacey: So I like to say that the

idea for Joyful Support really

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came from Sara and I's partnership.

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That is something that is very

part of, important to me, that's

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part of this origin story.

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In that I have, I, you've heard me

talk about the support that I have

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in my life of family and friends.

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You're hearing me talk to

them on Sharing the Middle.

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But as I was going through

my chronic illness, there was

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still this gap of support.

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And I ended up, getting a lot of

that support from Sara in a way

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that I just didn't know was existed.

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My personal relationships are

lovely, you know what I mean?

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And I've been working with a

therapist for a long time, friends.

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But there was something so magical

about Sara and I when we would chat

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and we would talk and it was always

such a magical space for me to be

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able to process what's going on, to

be able to think about next steps.

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What am I doing?

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and also to giggle and have so much fun.

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And that's really where this idea of

joyful support came from is this idea

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that we can give each other support

and have it based and rooted in joy and

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provide that for anybody who needs it.

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Sara: I'm so excited for all the

people that this is going to benefit

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because I know in my life, I could have

used this at so many points in time.

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We, Lacey and I have described

this as, it's that gap between,

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yeah, your family and friends.

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who are there all the time for you.

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Absolutely.

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And then you've got your, if you've

got your therapist or some kind of

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professional that you see once a

week, once every other week, but

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your friends and your family members,

they've got stuff going on too.

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they aren't always able to show up with

the same amount of support every day.

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And so this joyful support

is in between those two.

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And I know from personal

experience, I've had some events.

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have gone on mental health for me, grief

for me, where I really felt like My

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friends were amazing, but I felt inside

like I had this ticking clock of okay,

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after a certain time, like they don't

want to hear me crying about the exact

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same thing, but I still needed to be

able to be like, today's a hard day.

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And yeah, it's been the same

thing for three months, but

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it's still a hard day for me.

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And this is that place to be able

to show up and say whatever's going

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on and know that people are going to

hear you and support you and see you.

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Lacey: Absolutely.

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So we have Joyful Support built into

everything that we're trying to produce

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because the idea is that we want to

give you resources to be able to get

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that Joyful Support, but then to get

enough of it that you can then go out

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in the world and share and have those

joy ripples and do all those things.

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That's why, home management for everyone

or for kids or for neurodiversity.

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It's about having peace

and happiness in your home.

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So you can go out and have more

joy sharing the middle, is about

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sharing your story and understanding

where you're coming from.

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So that you can then take that

information and move forward with joy.

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yeah.

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So one thing that I do want to

point out is so joyful support

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is this movement, right?

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That what Sara and I are talking

about it, but Sara and I also came

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up with a tool to use that is a way

to give and receive joyful support.

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It's three steps of something that you can

do in a moment when you need that support.

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You can do it internally.

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You can do it externally.

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It's a very malleable tool of taking

a step or no, I'm gonna start, of

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sharing your story, finding joy.

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And taking a step that if you

can do all three of those things,

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you're going to start to have that

forward momentum and be able to get

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the joyful support that you need.

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Sara: And even though Lacey

backed up and said it in the other

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you can really do it in any order,

you don't, it, there's no like you

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have to do all three within five

minutes, there's no sort of like

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magic realm, you don't have to turn

around in a circle ten although that

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would be funny if that was part of it.

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Lacey: I would, or like a secret handshake

that gets too much into cults, Sara.

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We're not a cult.

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Sara: we're not a cult.

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but yes, this.

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If you've been listening for a while,

Lacey has been through a lot and when

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you are moving and Indy was sick and

there was so much going on and there

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was joyful support was very new.

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We just started talking about it and

I was like, how do I support Lacey?

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And I just said, do you

want to do the steps?

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And that was just, it was concrete.

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Almost starting to cry.

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It was concrete.

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It was tangible.

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I can remember where I was sitting in my

car in the parking lot and I was like,

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I'll just invite her to do the steps.

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And you did, you wrote a story about

when Indie came into your life and

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you were able to recognize joy.

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And here's the thing is the joy

doesn't even have to do with

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what is going on in your life.

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It can be totally separate

and whatever step you take

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doesn't have to be connected.

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The step you take could be honestly

taking a step and going outside and

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looking, I was going to say birds.

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But that becomes a whole thing.

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You can step outside and

just take a deep breath.

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That could be your step.

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the three things are, it is, it just

gives you structure and movement

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to move through whatever it is.

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Cause we often feel like

whatever's happening is just so

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much that it can weigh us down.

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And yeah, this creates the movement.

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And like you said, you

can do this yourself.

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You can do it with others.

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You can share these

steps with other people.

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And we have a whole village where you can

show up and talk about what's going on.

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Share your joy.

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Ask for other people's joy.

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there's a lot of ways

to do joyful support.

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Lacey: There really is.

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I told this to Sara, but I was

having a moment with my son where I

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was really struggling with how to.

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him.

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he was really upset about something

and we had tried a lot of things.

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And so I started to do the steps with him.

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I said, okay, bud.

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let's just take a moment.

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, do you see anything that makes you smile?

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And we talked about that for a

little bit, and then I said, are you

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ready to talk about what happened?

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He said, no.

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And I'm like, that's just fine.

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What do you think we should do next today?

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And so we talked a little bit about that.

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So you can see, I'm asking, I'm prompting

him through the steps that we found joy.

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He wasn't ready to tell the story.

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So we just thought of steps.

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And then we got to a point where

he was ready to tell his story

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and he had those other two steps.

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for a foundation to feel

like he could do that.

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So I.

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Have been using it in

my parenting as well.

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and so it's been really great to just have

that concrete tool, it's a concrete tool.

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And so the idea, like Sara

said, we have the village.

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The idea is that the village is

full of people who have taken

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our free joyful support course.

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So they know the underlying principles

and ideas of the joyful support

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course so that we, everyone in the

community, in this community, can learn.

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Village can show up and understand

what we're looking for from each other.

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And I think that's another

kind of important aspect

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that really differentiates.

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differentiates itself from friendship

and therapy in that, it blends that

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specific relationship with therapy

and that, peer to peer person

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support and fits in the middle.

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It does not replace

either of those things.

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Sara and I are very clear about that.

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And I also want to be clear

that this is very peer support.

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Sara and I While we are self help

enthusiasts, I would say, and both have

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gone to therapy and that kind of stuff.

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I did run it by my therapist

and she said, Oh yeah, that's

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a good model for peer support.

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So that's why I used

the term peer support.

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We're all on the same level.

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There's no one better than anybody else.

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Trust me, Sara and I are

in there doing it too.

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Sara: we are.

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And it is, it is, it

feels so good to share it.

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When we carry something all

by ourselves, it feels bigger.

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you instantly share it and, You are seen,

and this is what I've really noticed in

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social media is sometimes people show up

and with either good news or frustration

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they're having, and oftentimes there's

just people out there who are having a not

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a great day and they'll cut that person

down with whatever's going on, right?

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And that's not what that person needed.

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And so I always think about, wow, in

joyful support, you show up and you're

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going to get what you need because

when you show up in the village.

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To do joyful support.

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It's are you in a position to give

support or do you need support?

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And that's just where it starts.

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And I know sometimes I go on social

media and I don't always walk away

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feeling better than when I got on.

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And the hope is, this joyful support.

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If this is something that

can benefit you in your life.

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Yeah.

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It's to make the good times feel better.

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And the tough times feel not as tough.

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Honestly, it's still going to

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be tough.

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I always talk about how every, nobody

gets through life without eating.

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If I'm going to swear,

heads up, going to swear.

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I always say you can't get through life

without eating shit sandwiches no one

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can eat your shit sandwich for you.

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But it's really great when somebody

can come up beside you and say, Hey,

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I've had that shit sandwich before.

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I'm going to tell you if you have

a glass of soda next to you, it

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makes it go down a lot easier.

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Or I'm just going to I'm just going to

be here and I'm going to let you know

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if you put a little bit of mayonnaise.

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Shit sandwich, not a shitty.

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like it's just shit sandwiches.

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They're just such a part of life.

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So yeah, if you just don't

want to feel alone in your shit

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sandwich, and you got a place to go

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if you want that.

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. Lacey: And we know that it can be

very nerve wracking to share these

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things with a bunch of people.

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strangers.

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I would like to think that we're a

little bit above strangers because

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we're all in the village together.

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But, we have created the

ability for people to submit

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their stories anonymously.

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And so that's another way to be

able to get your story out there.

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You can tell people what you want

from them as far as I want support,

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I want advice or something like that.

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And, Ideally, it's a place for you

to get that out and you can do it

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anonymously, and still get that support

that you need if you are a little

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nervous about sharing personal things.

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I think we've all found out Lacey's

just sharing left and right,

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so that's not necessarily me.

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There are things I keep

to myself, I promise.

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Sara: But what's so amazing is, yeah,

there's these things in our life where we

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feel as though if we said them, somehow

we would be excommunicated from a group,

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from a network, from something.

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And when in reality, the truth is

somebody else has gone through that.

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Somebody else can relate.

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And that's what's, I don't want to

brag about how old I am, but that's

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one thing that's cool about being.

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As old as I am, is that I've come to

realize everybody's got something going

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on, whether or not they want to talk

about it or not, whatever you have going

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on, somebody else has gone through.

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it's just, and it feels good to know.

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Explaining this joyful support

to a friend of mine and.

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I was talking about how back in

the day, there used to be, you grew

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up and you lived in the same town.

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You knew all your neighbors,

your family was all there.

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Usually there was one or two churches

in town, so you had your congregation.

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It used to be, for better or worse,

that Things were shared the good

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days and the bad days and you had

that really strong network, right?

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And life is just different now.

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Things have changed.

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And we don't have for the most part, I

feel like I know a lot of people who don't

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have church that they're a part of or that

group that they've been with, and it's

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just, again, that space in between your

friends and your family and a professional

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caregiver or caregiver professional.

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Professional, professional health,

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Lacey: some kind of health,

whether mental or physical.

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Sara: kind of professional, with a degree,

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Lacey: people who know stuff.

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Sara: And my friend, she

was, she's older than I am.

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And she's been around

the block herself too.

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And she just, I was really surprised cause

she is not one to sugarcoat anything.

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And she was just like,

that makes a lot of sense.

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Like she just really got it.

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And I was like, okay, if this is

hidden with her, this is good.

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Cause she's, she's not one

to complain or suffer fools.

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She's had her times too.

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And she knows.

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Sometimes you just need

a little extra support.

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Lacey: Absolutely.

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And we want it to be as

accessible as possible.

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so You can take the Joyful Support course

itself for free, at JoyfulSupportMovement.

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com.

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And that signs you up to be what's

called a Joyful Support friend.

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So you get access to a bunch

of different resources that

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we've been putting up there.

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And then the Joyful Support course, also

the 10 Steps to Meal Planning course.

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And honestly, I love making freebies.

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This is a new thing that I've learned,

Who knows what I'll put up there.

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It is, it's Wild West because I get

excited and I put stuff up there.

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and you have the ability to

comment on our resources and blogs.

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Our hope is that one day, our

members can share their story

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through blogs and that kind of stuff.

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And so that is a way for you

to be a part of the community.

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Obviously our social media.

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Come in and you can and do it there.

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Then there is the Joyful Support Village.

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As Sara mentioned, that's 10 a month.

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And that's that kind of more

closed community to be able

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to share a bit more widely.

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and then you can be an all in

member, which is 150 a year.

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And you get access to the community.

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village and all the courses.

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So home management for everyone,

home management for neurodiversity,

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the home management for kids

that's coming later this year.

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The more I think about it though,

I'm like, that's a hell of a deal.

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Sara: Oh yeah, and you're starting to

list courses, and I'm like, yeah, and I've

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got 10 other courses already queued up

in my brain that I've started outlining

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for different courses.

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So the courses will keep adding, and like

Lacey said, we want this to be accessible.

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So 10 a month doesn't seem

It feels out of reach.

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Send us a message and let us know.

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Because we are looking at ways to

make this accessible to everyone.

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Because we believe in it so much

that we want that joy ripple.

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And again, if one person feels one

percent happier, or more joyful, they

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go out into the world with that 1

percent and then they rip all it out.

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So that's what our goal is.

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And we also have a weekly newsletter

that if you become a friend or a village

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member or all in, you'll get the weekly

newsletter, which has a little dose

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of the sharing, the joy and the step.

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yeah, it's all, I'm actually part of

this and when I get to email my inbox

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and I get I get a little bump of joy.

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I'm like, Ooh,

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Lacey: I don't because I hit the send

button, but I appreciate that you I always

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have fear when I hit the send button,

because there's nothing like sending

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something to a bunch of people and being

worried that you mess something up.

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Sara: but we're human.

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We all mess things up.

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just, we're human.

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Lacey: getting better.

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I'm getting better.

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Yeah.

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Sara: that's the thing.

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I always, for those who are my age

and remember hair club for men.

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Lacey and I, we're not just the founders,

we're members too, we're case you

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didn't know, we're not AI, we are human

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Lacey: We are.

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The mess and all.

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Yum.

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Sara: And if you are so jazzed up

right now and you're like, I want

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all this joy, go check out the merch.

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You can put some joy ripple out

into the world and just walk

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around being a walking joy ripple.

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Lacey: That is another place where

I have random spurts of creativity

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and just add stuff to the store.

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So things are just out there, on my whim.

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So you can have the joy of that.

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If you are a villager in All In, you

do also get merch discounts as well.

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and Sara and I hope to grow as far

as having monthly meetings, weekly

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meetings too, to have a little

bit more of that personal touch.

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really there's a lot that we want to do,

but we can't do it without your support.

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Now I feel like I'm an NPR being

like, this is brought to you.

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But that's, that's why there is some

costs involved and we can't just do

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it completely for free because we got

stuff to pay for and all that stuff.

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Sara: But we ultimately, yes, we have

to pay for things because that's life.

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And ultimately both just

feel dedicated to joy.

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Lacey is creating a shirt for me,

which is the ambassador of joy.

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Which I just think is the coolest.

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Like I want a I kind of I don't

know like a name tag or like a

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plaque like something on my desk

It's just like I am the ambassador.

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not the

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because more than one.

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I am a ambassador

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Lacey: Joy Ambassador shirt.

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I'm working on that.

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Sara: I'm and bass.

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how cool like

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Lacey: Yeah.

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Sara: bad day and still

be a joy ambassador.

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That's what's so amazing We're

not look, we're, that's, oh yeah,

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asterisk, asterisk all the way.

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This is not over the top positivity.

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This is yes and.

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this thing happened and

I'm also feeling joy,

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Lacey: Absolutely.

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and I, to bring it back to what I

mentioned that this started from

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Sara and I's partnership, she had

said to me sometimes that giving

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me support gave her joy as well.

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And so I love this idea that the more

we do the steps, the more that we're

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building upon one another and creating

that safety net of joy and ability to move

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forward so that we can help each other.

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Yeah,

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Sara: going to give out an amen,

but this is not a religious thing.

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What's like a non religious amen?

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Lacey: I,

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Sara: Huzzah!

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Anyway, is Joe into renaissance stuff?

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Lacey: Yes and no.

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So there, for a period of time,

Joe did, it's called, the Society

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for S Something Anachronism.

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Basically where he would dress

up with other people, and

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in period attire and fight.

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So it's not quite LARPing

because you're not role playing.

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It's like going, and it can be that,

but for him, it was like going and

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having a workout, fighting it in armor.

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our friend got him into it and then we had

kids and he couldn't really do it anymore.

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Sara: I love how so many sentences with

people end with, and then we had kids.

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Lacey: yes and no.

466

Sara: I just didn't know if huzzah

was gonna rattle anything in Joe's

467

Lacey: Oh, I sincerely

hope it makes them smile.

468

I

469

could see

470

Sara: you, will you give out a

huzzah when Joe comes home from

471

work today and then text me and

let me know what his response is?

472

Actually shout out to

all of our listeners.

473

Give out a random huzzah.

474

Lacey: Huzzah!

475

Sara: Grocery store, stoplight,

classroom full of kids.

476

Just see what the response is.

477

Lacey: I truly do not

know what it would be.

478

I do not know.

479

I do not know.

480

Cause, there's a certain person

that I could see doing that in

481

public, and it's not typically what

I would think of as our listeners.

482

So I would love to see

what that looks like.

483

Sara: Random and delightful.

484

That's all we do here, people.

485

Lacey: I get, you can find all

this at joyfulsupportmovement.

486

com along with a bunch of other stuff.

487

Cause basically I just go in there

and make stuff and I have fun with it.

488

we, Sara and I, to our core, believe

that this will change ideally the world,

489

but individuals lives for the better.

490

And so we sincerely hope that you join

us because, there's so much possibility.

491

When it comes to joy and spreading joy.

492

And it's like a snowball

going down a hill.

493

It'll keep going along and

catching more and getting bigger.

494

And, just can't wait.

495

I'm trying to enjoy the process,

but I also just can't wait.

496

Sara: If you want to be

part of our joy snowball,

497

please please go to JoyfulSupportMovement.

498

com Or if you just want to see

how extremely silly we are IRL

499

Check us out on social media.

500

You'll get to you'll get a

you'll get to know and trust how

501

beyond joyfully ridiculous And

502

real We're

503

Lacey: Sara, we didn't even mention

one of the biggest things you'll

504

get, which is bonus podcast content.

505

If you join the

506

Sara: which we we have

building up someplace.

507

There's a lot.

508

Lacey: it exists.

509

It'll get edited and put

into a feed at some point.

510

But, we will make it happen.

511

This is one of those things that

when we get an editor to help us,

512

they'll be able to help us with that.

513

Sara: to that day when I get

to listen to all the bonus.

514

Cause I'm, cause now that I'm editing,

I'm always like cut for bonus.

515

And they're all delightful stories.

516

I'll do a little teaser.

517

What was it called?

518

funeral.

519

we do a whole thing of

Lacey's ideal service.

520

Lacey: we get much deeper into it.

521

Much deeper into it.

522

Sara: Deeper than you can imagine.

523

Lacey: know.

524

thank sharing the middle, no

shame in the home game listeners.

525

just also a quick thank you from me.

526

I was telling this to Sara,

we've had over a thousand unique

527

listeners of both of these podcasts.

528

And to say that out loud is bonkers.

529

And in the greatest way possible,

from the bottom of my heart I

530

was always a podcast listener.

531

I love podcasts and I always had

this little thing in the back

532

of my mind of could I do that?

533

and I have been, and I

love so much doing it.

534

So thanks.

535

Sara: and thank you, Lacey.

536

I thank you to you.

537

Like you made this happen.

538

I would have never done this without you.

539

I have, I've actually, I always

knew I would do a podcast, but

540

didn't know how it would happen.

541

Lacey: And then there was me.

542

Sara: and then the universe went,

Hey, you know who you should meet?

543

The hair, H A R E of

Ohio, the hair of Ohio.

544

Lacey: This week, Sara learned that

I listened to her voice memos at 1.

545

5 speed.

546

Sara: And I said, not

547

surprised because I'm a slow talker

when I am thinking, yeah, I'm a slow

548

But I have to tell you I have to do

more voice memos because I'm actually

549

getting some kind of like thumb carpal

tunnel thing from using my thumb to my

550

Lacey: It's fine.

551

See you need.

552

Cool.

553

I listen to them at 1.

554

5 speed.

555

I get through them.

556

Sara: If the listener hasn't

guessed I'm the tortoise.

557

Lacey: My hair ness has already gotten

me in trouble today, so I'm trying to

558

I asked for permission and it was yes,

but then Joe forgot a few details.

559

So then I was like, I don't

know what you want me to do now.

560

I already took care of it.

561

Oh, Sara, do you want to do,

honestly, I feel like this whole

562

podcast is just us giving gratitude.

563

So I don't feel a need to do a moment of

564

Sara: Yeah, I think we'll wait because

yeah, for your middle listeners, they

565

aren't used to just doing gratitude

and they will be like, that's a

566

little over the top gratitude on top

of gratitude on top of gratitude.

567

Lacey: Yeah, that's a

little much, but so am

568

Sara: it was, yeah, no, I

think we'll, I think we'll skip

569

that for our regular episodes.

570

And yes, this was like a whole

celebration of just joy, which now my

571

day is, this is the bright spot of my

572

day.

573

Lacey: know.

574

I have to go take a nap

now, but just usual.

575

Sara: Bar for the course.

576

Lacey: Well, thank you, Sara.

577

Sara: Thank you, Lacey.