Non-Linear Progress MiniEp

Welcome to sharing the middle where recovering perfectionist overachievers. And anyone in the middle of a struggle come together to learn, to embrace the messy middles of life. I'm Lacy your friend in the middle of guide whose claim to fame this week is launching her second podcast. No shaman own game. Go check it out. The first episode is. The episode before this one in the middle of feed as well. So like share, subscribe, rate, review, follow all of the things. Today we have a mini episode, which means that we're going to read an essay from the middle, do a little advice from the middle and then jump into some Lacey loves. So let's make it happen, friends. This week's essay from the middle. It's called ending of a comfortable middle. At the beginning of the middle, I skirted around talking about my symptoms and potential diagnoses. I never wanted to have to go back and say, just kidding. I'm fine. This was all just me being dramatic. I was going to doctors weekly new diagnosis. I was thrown out left and right as possibilities. Only to be eliminated about a week or two later with another normal test result. It was overwhelming, confusing and just. Far too much. I scheduled out a few more difficult to get into appointments. Realize they were months away. And decided to take a break. I needed a break from the constant recapping of what was going on. I needed a break from the disappointing news. I just needed a break. Did you know, breaks can actually work. I started the break with the sheer determination of not seeming lazy, which looking back at it now is so unhelpful, come on, man. I set up intense trackers of my symptoms and moods. I would conduct many experiments on what I ate certain things, or when I took certain medicines and truly see fashion, I lost the interest pretty quickly. When there didn't appear to be concrete answers. Over time. I started to actually tune into my body. I started to understand my energy envelopes better and how to pace myself. I started to think in less terms of absolutes and definitive answers. Like gut instinct and feelings. I learned that if I listened to an honored my body, Not forcing it all the time to bend to my will. It would give me more, this probably sounds flighty and confusing. And the reality is, I don't know how to explain it. I would love to be able to give you a detailed list or instructions on what I mean, but I can't. I need to stop trying to impose a system of logic on my body. Instead. I have to come to a place of letting it be. And just listening to it. I have not reached answers. It is still something that I'm learning about day to day, but I have fallen into a healthy and respectful rhythm. Why is my body? Labels are powerful. As I write, I'm realizing that this middle has given me the space to not label. This may be way I have been struggling to write over the past few weeks. I would rather not narrate or over analyze my current state. by attempting to label or give something a name, we're putting it into a box. We are defining it. Just give me great and sometimes very helpful. For example, by allowing myself the label of disabled I've created space in my world for the help and accommodations that have made my life easier to live. I'm grateful for this label. The process of getting a diagnosis is just the process of getting a label. That label will enable me to talk to other people a bit easier about what is going on. And may even enable me to get more help in the future. Here are the drawbacks though. One, my body is going through what it is going through with, or without that label. Too. The label is still made up. I've learned more than ever. That diagnosis is a very human process. And it's not as scientific proof as we tend to see it. It is in three. It is someone else's label for me. And with that comes expectations. And baggage. I fear that label will impede on this little Oasis of comfort and power. I have curated in this, in between time. Not wanting to see the end. As they say all good things must come to an end. those far off doctor's appointments are actually approaching now. And. Frankly, I'm uneasy. Typically when I discussed the middle, I'm referring to this place. I find discontent and frustration. Yeah, here. As a place I've found comfort and solace. I've learned to find true acceptance and found peace in the process. It is what I've been striving for when it comes to the phrase. Embracing the messy middles of life. I'm still going to go to my appointments and try to figure out how to bring this new piece into my diagnosis. Stay tuned. Instead of advice from the middle of today in the traditional sense where I read a listener letter, I'm going to give unsolicited advice today. And it's something that I learned yesterday. So today's July 5th and yesterday it was July 4th. And I. Was only able to go to one of our July 4th. Celebrations. And the one that I went to. Was the right one. For me because. I knew I would have the accommodations I needed. To be successful. I was lucky that my dear friend Alex lives on a parade route. So my kids and husband and I could all go together. And they could go outside and watch the parade. And I go watch the parade from inside. And also be a secondary person for when. One of them got too hot needed to come inside. I'm going to give some unsolicited advice. Two. Anyone who feels. Like they're a burden or too much. Or anybody who wants to support someone who, you know, feels that way. I am so thankful that I. Have that friend. I've Alex who you've all heard from before. To be able to. Understand where I'm coming from. Say, Hey. If you do need to go lay down in a quiet space. This is a space you can go to. And I share all that because I was afraid to go. I was afraid. But I still went. And I am proud of myself for going. And I've been having a lot of. Thoughts about how. I'm nervous about a lot of things now. I drove for the first time on Saturday morning. And then crashed. Later that day into the next day. Not great. Crashed. Like health wise, not with my car. Not, I didn't crash in the car. I need to be clear. I share all of this, just to say that. It was scary. It wasn't driving was fine. I went and picked up our Kroger order or grocery order. It was fine. But I did have this moment. On Saturday and Sunday where I was like, maybe I need to stop trying so hard. Maybe I just need to accept. That I can't drive anymore, then I can't go places. And then I was able. To pick myself up. And try again. By going to Alex's for this 4th of July parade. And it worked. It's just so important to remember. That progress is not linear. That if you want something. Even it's scary. It's worth it to keep trying. Hopefully that made any semblance of sense I'm having a bit of a morning here. I spilled my coffee. Certain things are just not functioning the way that they should be. But, you know what. It's okay. It is O K. And I'm going to keep pushing forward. And I hope you do too. Welcome to Lacey loves. As usual, this is my most unplanned segment. Which means that I have a tendency to ramble. And you're just going to get unfiltered Lacey. Welcome. The water's fine. Next week is Amazon prime day and I'm an Amazon influencer and be D no big deal here. but I have talked to him here about how much I love home automation and I use Amazon products for that. I also just do a lot of shopping on Amazon because they deliver for free to my house, which. I know it's a big, scary. Corporation. But that is accessibility for me. So I'm going to go through. And put together some link lists of different things that we have really use from an Amazon. both of my children have an Amazon fire tablet. I'll be honest, the interface. Isn't that great when you're used to apple products, but once you get past that, You can just control so much of what is on there. Basically at this point on Iris's we just have her. Able to watch baby shark over and over again. She also watches Peppa pig, and somehow constantly has changing the. Language to different languages and Joe, and I don't understand how she keeps doing it, but she does, but that's fine. She thinks it's cool. really it's just a baby shark machine and that's all we need right now. Isaac. Plays games. So he's, he has a little gamer. you can have like screen time that you limit on it to shut off at a certain time. So no matter your parenting philosophy. you can customize it, which is really nice. And there's just so many different things on there for kids. that is one recommendation that I am going to make. The other thing is home automation with. I'm not going to say her name, but ALX CA. So all the different, echoes, whether it's dots. We use that heavily in our house. Turning on and off lights, we can lock doors. The biggest thing for us though. There is something beeping. And I don't know what it is. It is on my side of the bed. I'm pretty sure. And I don't know when it happens. It just started yesterday. And that's just an aside. Okay. Sorry. It beeped. And now I don't know what to do with myself. I will find the beeping. What was I talking about? Oh, okay. We also do our, grocery lists. Like we can yell out. Hey, add this to the grocery list and then it syncs with an app on our phone. And honestly, that has been a huge thing for Joe and I to keep track of grocery lists. The list that we use is called any list. We do pay for a subscription every year. But it's totally worth it to be able to do that. And then once you have a grocery list, you can export it directly into some online order pickups. So we live near a Kroger and we export it into the online. Pickup for Kroger. if technology can make my life like. A, percent easier I can and will use it. And that's what that is for us. Trying to think what else. That I am like. Heavily. th that you can really only get on Amazon. Cause then there are a lot of things that I just get on Amazon. Because, like I said, the convenience, so my little desk, or really my entire podcasting set up lots of organizational materials. All of that is coming from Amazon. I'll be putting together some lists and stuff. Okay. Aye. Is it my watch. Hold on. I think it might be my watch. Okay. Let's try it out. maybe my watches. Sound turned down. Or maybe. I'm hearing things, which I will never real out. Okay. I will say it started after my mom and sister were here. They are wonderful and came to help me. Clear out. Some things donate, things that have been needed to be terminated for a while. I wonder if something came into this room and I didn't realize it. This is. Riveting stuff. I know. All right. The other thing is I'm really excited that I'm partnering with happy curves. I'm getting more of their products in the coming week. And so I'll be talking a little bit more about them. Probably on my next podcast. Oh, along with ads that you'll probably hear because. That's cool. All right. I think that's enough. Ramblin Lacey. The other thing that I do want to say is that no shame in the home game has premiered. As I mentioned the beginning. I was talking to Sarah and I just talked about how I'm protective of this first episode that we released. Because it's so joyful. It's just me and Sarah talking. We will be meeting with participants. over the next few weeks and you'll hear their stories told. Over time. But. I just really love this episode with me and Sarah, or we're talking about our experiences. And how we got to know shaman the home game and what it is and our vision. So it's joyful. There's laughter it's great. And there's Indy. If you can hear him. Coming up to join me. I hope you have a fantastic week. And we'll see you soon. Here in the middle.