I get chatty with my dear husband, Joe, about some exciting tweaks to my beloved podcast. After testing the waters with various formats over the year, I’ve realized that heart-to-heart talks with those who’ve journeyed through life with me offer the richest storytelling. Expect to meet some special folks in future episodes, like my childhood bestie who can shed light on our shared past, and my lovely nieces who’ll offer a fresh perspective on the aunt-niece bond. You’ll also hear my daughter not wanting to sleep and Joe and I talking about the challenge of IKEA bed assembly adventure.
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Transcript
Yeah, this is exciting
Joe:Why?
Lacey:because this is my first time successfully recording in person.
Joe:You do this all the time.
Lacey:I know, but I have never recorded with this setup. It's a new setup for me. Welcome to Sharing the Middle, and I'm not going to say my normal opening because I'm still working on a new opening to match what is this new Sharing the Middle. And I have asked my dear husband, Joe, and fan favorite, you know you're a fan favorite, right?
Joe:A fan favorite. Yes.
Lacey:You're also, it's two,
Joe:Oh.
Lacey:Anyway, fan favorite, my husband, Joe. Hi, Joe.
Joe:Hello.
Lacey:How are you today, Joe?
Joe:I am here.
Lacey:He is, we just put our children to bed, fingers crossed. They stay in bed. we're really taking a
Joe:We put them in bed, we didn't put them to bed because they're still awake.
Lacey:Yeah, we're really taking a gamble on this one,
Joe:It's risky.
Lacey:I haven't told Joe much of anything about this with the exception that I want to tell him and so he can ask me questions and be like an audience conduit, if you will, about my, not, it's not really a big change in direction, but it is a little, we're going to steer in a direction. So sharing the middle is still going to have guests that we do interviews on where they talk about their middle moments, but I've been trying to figure out how to share my story better. Don't tap the microphone.
Joe:did not.
Lacey:Yes, you did. I
Joe:saw you. They don't know that, only you know it. You
Lacey:They know it now.
Joe:I should have just denied it.
Lacey:But probably gaslighting
Joe:gaslighting your wife in the middle of her podcast isn't necessarily the best move to
Lacey:the best move make. Anyway, I've been wanting to figure out how to share my own story and for a while that was in my writing, but writing hasn't really felt good lately. And I also have been struggling with, previously I did many episodes that were just for me and that was a place where I shared what was going on, but it just didn't feel quite right. with the joyful support movement. the wonderful Sarah, my co host on No Shame in the Home Game, and I. joyful support has three steps. One of those steps is sharing your story, putting your story out there. And she, being the genius that she is, was like, yeah, that's sharing the middle is sharing your story. And it got me thinking about, how can I share my story better and in a way that feels good for me. And I think it was more engaging for a listener. And I thought back to some of my favorite episodes from last season, and they were the one with my mom and my sisters, the one with, Becky and Lydia, where we talk about Barbie. And it helped me realize that I learn a lot about my own story in conversation with other people, and that other people hear. themselves in some of those stories. So for example, the thing that I heard the most when I, when people talked about the system, my mom and sisters episode was that they heard their own relationship with their sisters. If they had sisters and had a close relationship. And so it got me thinking, maybe I want to give more insights to that. Is there a child?
Joe:No, but did you not hear the sound change?
Lacey:No.
Joe:There is a child I haven't seen to confirm yet But I heard the volume of the white noise change. So did you hear that door? Yeah. To be fair, she may be going to the bathroom, which, again, she is allowed to do.
Lacey:She is our sneaky kid.
Joe:Yeah.
Lacey:is very much our sneaky kid.
Joe:She's so quiet.
Lacey:She is. So, in a way, that's what I want to do. I want to talk to people in my life to share my story. in conversation with the people who had these experiences with me. Joe and I could talk about our experience parenting. Oh, there's a child.
Joe:Hi, sweet girl. You need to get back in bed.
Lacey:supposed to be in your bed, Missy.
Joe:Yes. Okay.
Lacey:All right, I've already reached out to some folks about different things, and I'm not just going to be like, tell me about me, because that feels weird, but they're going to have some themes. for example, I want to talk to my mom and sisters about sports. and their relationship with sports as women as a way to, underline my lack of interest in sports.
Joe:That's not true.
Lacey:What do you mean that's not true?
Joe:You have an interest in sports.
Lacey:What sports do I have an
Joe:have an interest in? You have an interest in sport. What? You're into football now.
Lacey:I am not into
Joe:That's not true.
Lacey:Just because.
Joe:it enough.
Lacey:The Travis Kelsey of it all. I wish it didn't exist. I want to be very clear about that. is not a desire. We didn't even watch the Super Bowl.
Joe:So?
Lacey:Anyway, I also wanted to talk to my lifelong friend, Emma, about longevity in friendships and like lifelong friendships, but also about girlhood because I spent a lot of my girlhood with Emma. I want to talk to, this is what I'm really excited about, I asked my two oldest nieces, if they would talk to me, and then I'm going to ask my aunts to do like an aunts and nieces, but have perspective for me as the aunt and then me as the niece. So you can see it's not necessarily just me talking about myself. It is a little bit, but it's not fully that, it's taking these different aspects of my own life and talking about the people that I experience those things with. It's
Joe:Right. It's you talking about yourself and other people talking about you.
Lacey:My hope being that by having multiple perspectives, it's a fuller story and a more relatable story. So what do you think Joe?
Joe:It sounds more engaging.
Lacey:Yeah, I agree.
Joe:Not to say that some of your episodes weren't, but some of them weren't.
Lacey:but some of them weren't.
Joe:not everyone has podcast, podcast level charisma.
Lacey:you say it in the most monotone voice you can,
Joe:I clearly have podcast charisma. If I could say the word podcast, I would have
Lacey:it's oozing, oozing out of
Joe:is. We're going to need a towel.
Lacey:We are currently set up in my, bed book nook that my parents wonderfully put together for me with the most beautiful wallpaper behind me. And this is the first time Joe's even really sat here, and he is so uncomfortable.
Joe:That's not true. I've sat here before. You Also, I would like to point out that I was post surgery when you decided that the bed nook HAD to happen. Hold
Lacey:that was not a knock on
Joe:had an emergency appendectomy and had no options to help with any of this because I was on full restrictions. I wasn't allowed to lift anything over 8 pounds.
Lacey:Gallon of milk
Joe:milk is what he said. That's good.
Lacey:that was not me pointing at you, and dear listener. I hope that's not what you took away. We were having Isaac's first birthday party, and I wanted to get a bunch of house projects done. And then Joe got out of commission, so I recruited my parents
Joe:not by choice.
Lacey:Yeah. we got a lot done though. It was nice. Bob and Carolyn can come in and transform a space,
Joe:But not an Ikea assemblage. It is the true relationship test. If you are trying to decide if the person that you're with is the person for you, then buy some Ikea stuff, put it together, TOGETHER, and see if you last through it. If you last through it, you're probably doing pretty good. If you don't, it was never meant to be. Cause, Ikea.
Lacey:Joe and I have our own version of it.
Joe:Yeah. would love
Lacey:to hear your perspective of it, Joe. Hear the story from your perspective.
Joe:I feel like I've already told this story,
Lacey:Have you? Okay.
Joe:It wasn't, well, kind of was this bed, but also not this bed.
Lacey:It's not this bed, no.
Joe:no. It's this bed. This
Lacey:bed is different. This bed
Joe:The mattress is the same.
Lacey:It is the same mattress. It's also the same
Joe:the same
Lacey:Which the slats were the problem. yes,
Joe:slats were the problem. We picked a bed that didn't come with a that didn't have room for a box spring. It was slats that you put a mattress on top of. And of course we decided to do this while moving in at what time did we start? 11pm?
Lacey:thing, the first step here is that we could not get the box spring up the stairs
Joe:yeah. Yeah. The box spring was for a
Lacey:So we, had to go to the drawing board and go get a bed that could have no box spring. And I think it was after two nights of sleeping on no box spring, you and I were like, this is not good. There's a child again.
Joe:That's all right.
Lacey:Okay. and we did, we had a long day of moving and then went to Ikea, found a bed that we both liked, got the slats, got it home. Got everything upstairs. It was probably like 10pm at that point.
Joe:By the time we started building, it was around 10 or 11.
Lacey:And then ended up So here's the thing about Lacey. I view instructions more as like a starting point and guideline, right? I mean, I, you see how things get together, right? It's like, I see things go in this hole and whatnot, but, that didn't work. That mindset didn't work. We ended up having to unassemble pretty much everything. And then start from the beginning, because we installed one thing backwards in the beginning, if I remember correctly.
Joe:Yeah, and it messed everything else up.
Lacey:But, we're still married. we weren't even married then. That was
Joe:Two crazy kids buying a house together. Building a bed till 1am.
Lacey:And we still elected to get married.
Joe:I don't think we even put sheets on it that night. I
Lacey:We may not
Joe:got the mattress on and then just like flop down and passed out.
Lacey:Did I cry? I don't think I cried.
Joe:don't know. You did when you realized you did when you realized what we had done wrong.
Lacey:And I knew it was my fault, yeah. Yeah.
Joe:you, you did at that point. Yeah. It was, but it was super late.
Lacey:and we didn't have a choice. We need to get done.
Joe:Yeah. Yeah, the problem was though, with it being backwards, you couldn't put the two bed frames next to each other. And so we couldn't just slap the mattress on and be like, all right, we'll fix it in the morning. Cause it, it made the whole thing like lopsided. So it just, it didn't work. and to be fair, I, there was concern about breaking the way the wood would have been like layered on top of each other. So we, we had to fix it before we could lay in it. I do remember briefly having. Discussion about just leaving the mattress on the floor and being like fuck it Fuck it. Let's do it live
Lacey:or whatever
Joe:it just go to bed and finish in the morning
Lacey:But we didn't. We persevered. We
Joe:We did and we finished around 1 a. m. And then sweaty hot and gross just flopped on top of that mattress and went to bed
Lacey:there was a child that just called out, Dad.
Joe:It's okay
Lacey:Okay.
Joe:The issue is that she can hear me talking, so she
Lacey:we shut the door all the way or is that dangerous?
Joe:cause then she can get up and do whatever she wants. At least this way I can hear her move around.
Lacey:hear her move around. She's the sneaky
Joe:Yeah. This house, uh, that moved
Lacey:this house, that we've moved into does not have a basement
Joe:a basement, and so I'm glad. I got
Lacey:Popping up again.
Joe:Poppin up again. Iris, you need go back to your
Lacey:Yeah, she's not
Joe:Yeah, she's not tired at all.
Lacey:her back. Come
Joe:Alright, I'm gonna go put her back.
undefined:Mhm. Mhm.
Lacey:sincerely bet that there are other people out there who can relate with their own Ikea story.
Joe:Yes.
Lacey:And I would like to hear them. Honestly, no. I would like to hear if Ikea stopped you from being in a relationship with someone. Actually, yes,
Joe:Actually, yes. I would like to
Lacey:I would really love to hear
Joe:that.
Lacey:That would be
Joe:That's the tea I'm here for.
Lacey:Joe loves tea. Joe is gossipy.
Joe:That's not true.
Lacey:you love some gossip.
Joe:I, I,
Lacey:hot goss.
Joe:I enjoy gossip, but I am not gossipy. There's a difference.
Lacey:there are times where I can tell you're like, tell me what happened over there. Who said what?
Joe:I want to know, but I'm not gossipy. I don't re share it.
Lacey:Yeah.
Joe:So I feel like there's a difference.
Lacey:You're right. we won't get into gossip and how not all gossip is bad and dah, dah. That kind of stuff. bro, do you have any questions for me about my, journey with sharing the middle and sharing my story through conversation?
Joe:no.
Lacey:Okay. Real,
Joe:was not told I had to prepare
Lacey:I didn't tell you what it was 'cause I thought you might. Have questions, or thoughts, or
Joe:You didn't ask for thoughts, you asked for questions.
Lacey:have thoughts?
Joe:I have lots of thoughts, but this isn't necessarily the forum for most of them.
Lacey:them. Do you have thoughts about what I brought up? This is,
Joe:I feel like I already said it. I think this is the. Updated format sounds more engaging than what some of the episodes have been. not all of them, because there were some really good episodes, and not just the ones you pointed out. But, I do think that this, to me, sounds more engaging, it's more personal.
Lacey:any ideas come up for you of people and conversations I can have?
Joe:Did any ideas come up for me about conversations you can have? You mean you, you want me to start an, Like an offshoot podcast where I talk about you?
Lacey:No! no, I Okay, first of all, you suck. Second of all, I'm just saying, is there anyone that you're like, Hey, I would love for you to talk to this person about this. I think that would be interesting.
Joe:I want the tea, so I want to know, I want to know about stuff. So yes, that, if you could do that, I don't know who would want to listen to it.
Lacey:it. my dear friend, Zach, who I did his podcast a couple years ago, I want to have him on because I think I am the best version of myself with Zach. And I want to talk about why that is and how that is and explore. part of it, and I don't want to spoil it, but Zach thinks I'm interesting, and because Zach thinks I'm interesting, it makes me more interesting.
Joe:that makes sense.
Lacey:will say, it is a very, self indulgent conversation, though, and this this is the dance that I'm trying to figure out and do, because. I don't know. It feels weird talking about myself, but I know that through sharing my experiences, other people's experiences get validated, get, felt, seen, and heard, and it makes it easier for them to share theirs. and ultimately, sharing our stories is a way to unburden us from some of the heaviness. It's a way to find connection and that kind of stuff. I need to keep reminding myself that I will say, so one of the things that I've done, is I've invested in, some portable equipment so I can do these interviews in person. I probably need to get at least one or two more microphones. But,
Joe:yeah. Or just have people, Do the, we are the world, where you're just like five people to a microphone.
Lacey:I think four people on a podcast is max is what I've learned,
Joe:okay. Too chaotic.
Lacey:chaotic with more, but I do love. The image in my head of like my mom and my friend Alex sharing a microphone like with headphones on and singing into it together. That was a joyful image that I just had in my head.
Joe:And they both are holding like a
Lacey:Oh,
Joe:like a few fingers to an ear so that they can. Yeah.
Lacey:Yeah. Yeah.
Joe:Which
Lacey:in reality, it would be my mom standing there and Alex singing, probably the loudest. And my mom just being all,
Joe:Yes,
Lacey:Absolutely. anyway, My old microphone was causing some issues, so it was a necessary upgrade, but it was one that I did, thoughtfully, so that I can do more of these in person, because there is some magic in person, especially with people you know. Did have kind of another thing I wanted to ask you about. Not the, not about the format stuff, but Sharing the Middle has been around for over a year now. And I feel like I have learned a lot and changed a lot over the year.
Joe:I would hope so. that leads
Lacey:to my question
Joe:better than regressing.
Lacey:of, have you noticed anything different in my relationship with the middle?
Joe:yeah, obviously. You're changing the format, for one.
Lacey:what I
Joe:obviously you've been through it, you've taken the time to think about. what you wanted to get from it, and how it made you feel, and your interaction with it, other people's interaction with it, and you've been slowly making changes, and trying to get it to where you want it. I think even the new format that you come up with is gonna end up being changed eventually.
Lacey:Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And that's something that I, would have had a really hard time with in the past because I would have been like, but I said, I'm going to do this and I'm going to do it this way. And so I just need to keep pushing until this is the thing that works. I can't give up, which is not helpful to me or listeners or anyone. So I think even you just saying that. And explaining that it's a process. Kudos to me, because I don't think I would have done that three years ago.
Joe:Why not?
Lacey:I don't know. Because I was so achievement based, check mark, accomplished, did that.
Joe:Yes, but you still made sure it was purposeful.
Lacey:Yeah. I will say, I do have a tendency to take a hard turn.
Joe:You don't say.
Lacey:And I think this not being a hard turn is a positive. It's an evolution instead of just a straight, let's just do something different.
Joe:I think that means that your original idea wasn't that far off then.
Lacey:Oh no, it wasn't. And honestly, so I worked with the lovely ladies from Mom Tage to help me come up with format. And it's really interesting how some of the changes that I am making are things that we talked about as possibilities, but I hadn't quite understood what that meant. and. Now I can fully embody it because I don't think I would have been able to describe this to somebody previously.
Joe:I think that's fair.
Lacey:Yeah. All right. thank you for joining me, Broseph. you have any, wise words? Just straight up compliments to gas your wife up? anything like that you want to leave us all with?
Joe:I'm sure I probably have wise words, but Again, I wasn't told to prepare anything.
Lacey:I did not ask you to prepare. I'm a little disappointed that there weren't wife gassing up things that could just flow out. But it's fine.
Joe:your bangs are fantastic.
Lacey:cut bangs today. Yeah. And they look great. I did a good job. Thanks, Joe.
Joe:I can think about is Ricky Martin now.