Small Changes, Big Impact: Alex’s Story Wrap Up

Welcome to no shame in the home game the podcast that cares

about how your home looks not feels.

I'm Lacey your co host who has a lot of feels here with Sarah.

our other co host who I'll let you choose who you are today, Sarah.

today I'm excited because this is two days in a row of me and

Laci getting to see one another on Zoom, so I'm feeling pretty happy

All right.

Two days of lace.

I know we love our chats.

Really one of the best parts of our week.

we're fresh off of recording with our participant, Alex.

We had to switch things around a bit because she's got a lot going on in

her life, which is like the theme of Alex's story is there's a lot going on.

how do you manage all that?

And, What you can do in your home to make that easier.

and it was exciting, spoiler alert, to hear a lot of things started

really working for Alex differently in ways she didn't expect.

Yes, I'm, I was overwhelmed with joy at how that whole experience unfolded.

From where we started to where we ended yesterday, I wouldn't have seen it coming.

I was along, I'm along for the ride, just like all you listeners.

I didn't know what was going to happen until we showed up and

heard what had happened, where she had taken some of my advice.

it was a rollercoaster for me too.

And.

It was fun.

Yeah.

And I think Alex's story, and we say this in the episode, so

maybe I'll edit it out, maybe not.

We'll see how it goes.

But Alex's story, I think, is the great example of the tagline of this podcast.

It's not how your home looks, it's how it feels.

Alex's house, I'm gonna tell you, as a person who's been in her

house many a times, looks amazing.

you know, and we heard her talk about the beginning.

It's very important to her.

She loves her space.

and she also mentioned the beginning, this idea that if it's behind a closed

door, she doesn't care about it.

And it's.

I think you start, we start to hear her care about it, but not how

it looks, how behind those closed doors are functioning for her.

And I think that's a really big win for her, and for us.

she did all the work, but still, and for us.

We're gonna own a little bit of that.

and I was shocked too because Alex is one of the most relaxed

people I've ever met and met with an asterisk because it's all virtual.

But so to actually hear these stress points that were bugging her.

I felt like I in the beginning was just like, Oh, this is we

don't have any traction here because she's just so content.

And then it was like, Oh, we really found something that improved the

quality of her day to day life, which is what we care about here.

Was just so glad that we were able to make an impact on that little

thing that made a big difference.

It goes back to some of our home CEO tenets of start small.

and really it's about a lot of it's about mindset in.

Managing your expectations and mindset because, we'll hear from Alex a little

bit that she came into it with this idea that like we were, Sarah was going to

organize her home and she wasn't sure what her pain points were and all this stuff.

And then once she started to see her home and how it flowed, that mindset.

Enabled her to do even more than we even suggested.

So I think it's really cool.

and on that whole start small thing, I was, I don't know what to call it.

It's not home tingles.

Cause it's not my home.

It's, I was so excited inside to hear her take what I planted the seed with.

And then she was building on it on her own.

And I was like, yes.

And like you said, it was so small.

And then she started to see, Oh, if I do this, if I do this, and I was like, yes.

Oh my gosh.

Like she caught traction., it's like watching somebody learn how to ride

a bike when they finally get it.

To need to post a video of you all here the moment

where we all get very excited.

I have to post that visually because she did like her face lit up and she

was like, let me tell you about this.

It was so funny because She got so excited, and then Sarah got so

excited, and I still didn't quite understand what was going on, and

I just, it was a great moment.

I love the purity because that happiness, it's just

so pure and I just love it.

Yeah.

So good joy.

Good home tingles.

Good everything.

Alright, let's jump in, and we will wrap up Alex's story.

so your first day back at work again.

yeah, a part time again.

They had agreed I could stay on as like a consultant.

so someone went on mat leave for one of the accounts and they

asked if I had some availability.

so I was like, for two months until I have a baby I can help out.

I'll be doing, like, 20 hours a week for a little bit here.

I don't think our listeners know that you're pregnant.

I don't think we've talked about

I'm gonna have a baby.

So that's creeping up.

Actually, tomorrow I'm gonna schedule the induction date.

So I'm excited for that.

Love a scheduled baby.

Two months, so

20 hours a

week,

where are the girls

going?

they will be with my mother in law in the afternoon.

Then Birdie is next, on this next Monday in a week, starts half day daycare,

preschool, preschool, I don't know.

Every week something new is happening.

that

on here at all.

That's the theme of your story, Alex.

I don't know if you figured

that out yet.

We,

I heard from Lacey.

It's they're going

on vacation.

They

got another dog.

They have hand,

foot, and mouth.

They're it

just keeps.

and then now you show up and you're like,

I'm working part

time.

It's Whoa.

Yeah.

And I, my son is also starting a new school on Thursday.

So This

week our evenings are just packed

with, like

supply drop offs, orientation, teacher before school

conferences, all things I hate

so much.

All

the things.

Yeah.

Wow.

I want to hear, I'm a dog person.

I want to

hear about

the new dog.

my God.

I'm obsessed with them.

Which I'm not an obsessive dog person, Lacey knows this, I've

had dogs for many moons now, who I usually talk about in a, you know

what they did today, Jesus Christ,

Meet

was a very special occasion.

for

special.

Coney, our other dog, she's almost 10 now.

I do love her with All my heart, but

we've

never let her on furniture.

She, like I've never moved my life around for her in any way.

but Lacey knows I've dreamed my whole life of

a Basset

hound.

And so we did all the research, we found the breeders we liked,

we picked him out of a big litter.

So I, now I'm just like a really crazy dog person with this dog.

So

would just randomly show me pictures of a basset hound

and be like, look at this.

I'm like, Alex, we were talking it was the equivalent of, how I get frustrated with

bird people that it was like that, where she was her own basset hound dog person.

So when she shared and we can advertise this Bigfoot, the

dog has his own Instagram.

And so when she shared, I've become that person, he has an Instagram.

I said, I think it's great that you have found an outlet for

something that you've wanted.

In the 10 years I've known you and you are embracing it and loving it

and sharing that love with the world.

I do.

I

was so excited that there are other Basset Hound people and

that we can, I don't know,

be this

What's the,

of human beings

What's

Bigfoot's IG handle?

it's Bigfoot the Basset Hound, like Bigfoot underscore the underscore

and then Basset Hound, one word.

But I'm not gonna lie,

I'm not crazy about being active on it.

I'm busy,

but

Oh, we'll put it in the show notes

, Alex, I know you have an update.

The last time that we talked to you, it was all about making

your life, easier on the go.

Sarah sent you some products and that kind of stuff, so bring us up

to date on that, how that's been

Yeah, it took me a minute to get myself even organized

probably to read through that email.

I would say it took me like two to three weeks after that

to really sit down with it.

and then even after looking through it, it probably took me another like week to

two to be like, okay, what products do I.

Want to order off this?

What do I already have that might just be in the basement that I can

use without purchasing something new?

our big focus points where, like you said, the coming and going to the car and what

could be brought in and out of the car.

And then, The, like, dining room that tended to house a

lot of my in transit items.

So that's where I focused.

so yeah, I did clean out what, the bottom of the Butler Pantry cabinets,

got rid of the wire bins, um, camera

that conversation, the wire bin?

Was that

looked at

Lee.

I was like, so what is, can I move these?

What is it?

And he was just like, Oh, I forgot that was

there.

So that wasn't a hard convo.

I was like, okay, I'm going to put it just somewhere downstairs to go through it.

we also had a garage sale in this time, so that was really nice too.

We purged some things.

and so I cleaned out that space.

Now, it took me a minute, though, to figure out what needed to go in there.

If it was, yeah,

just diapers, wipes, swimsuit, like,

I will say that space still isn't super organized, but I have two bins

in there and then I keep what, is our diaper bag, or our, big backpack, in

there and then I ordered like wipes

and diapers

specifically that stay in that area and changes of clothes, which is

actually just made being downstairs area easier to on us because we are like a.

three story home.

So there was so many moments where we needed to change their clothes or

a diaper or grab something like bug spray for outside that we then didn't

have to race up flights of stairs where yeah, as like a seven month pregnant

person it's becoming very ideal.

It's less steps.

and so that part was really nice.

And yeah, just being able to like, When I realized I forgot

something in the car to run back

to that

spot instead of going up to the bedrooms, which still don't have a

lot of organization in terms of like diapers, wipes, creams, sunscreen stuff.

but yeah, that'll, that is all pretty much there.

Not like nicely organized, but it's all thrown in there,

which is enough for right now.

And then what I told Lacey was the biggest game changer was the car organization.

I don't know why it's never really occurred to me to even look up car

organization or car storage just we do so much in our car that I think I

thought, like, why organize it or why do that we're throwing so much in and

out that it would just be in the way.

But right we just went on two vacations in which it wasn't in the way and it

became such a Organizational tool.

not just like packing up the car, but anytime we would, and that goes for

here and on vacation, but just drive somewhere outside of our main hub.

It'd be like, oh, we have bug spray in the car.

Oh, we have sunscreen in the car.

It's in the one little bin.

And, we have diaper like.

Just that, oh, shoot, we forgot something moment was like, the

essentials are there, which is

very big.

there have

been many times in our life where one of us is running to a Walmart

when we've already got to where we are to snag some necessity.

so what I ended up getting for the car, I think you had recommended

like three, three tote bags or three.

Easy

to move in and out bags, which I actually didn't get one that

I would say is easy to move.

It's like almost like an accordion.

bag, but it's pretty structured.

You like slide in these pieces.

That makes it more structured and it sits across the back, but it's not very deep.

So it's, we're able to put our third row of seats up and it still just

sits in there and it Velcros down.

So it's not sliding.

and it has two organized compartments, which is where we do.

Yeah.

The diapers, the wipes, the sunscreen, bug spray, the spare clothes.

and then in the other one we have a picnic blanket, some quick toys that we keep.

If we are going to the beach, I have the beach bag that's in the butler's pantry

now, so I don't pack like a bunch of

beach

bag stuff.

Just yeah, like a picnic blanket if we're at the park and some water bottles.

And then the other part has a cooler.

Which I'm loving, because so many times we are out for a long time during the

day and I wanted to bring like cheeses or yogurts and stuff, but it was like,

the car's hot, what are you going to do?

like yesterday we went up to, Laci, we went to Loveland Bike Park and

We're up there for a few hours.

And so we put cooler packs in

the back of

the car and shoved like a ton of snacks and drinks and stuff in that.

So even though that wasn't a recommendation, it was like on Amazon.

I was like, I feel like the cooler would come in handy.

So

I

know.

And that's,

Great.

And that's actually when I sent that list to you, it's just this is a jumping

off point, what's

possible.

And that's the thing with

so many

clients, they

don't even realize what is available.

So I love that you

were like, no, not so much this.

And, but you found something that was

perfect.

And And I love that now I know about something new.

So is the cooler, can

you take that

section out

or is it

embedded?

It's in

there.

you can squish it and it has clips actually if you don't want that

part like sticking out further.

You can,

in the winter, let's

say where we don't really need it as much, I could squish that in and clip

it and put another bag to the side.

but I have a feeling we're going to use that.

A lot just knowing we bring coolers all the time with us separately that to just

have it in the car will be really nice.

So I'm just curious about logistics.

So if you want to

load up that cooler, you

have to carry the ice pack and the

cooler items out to the car, correct?

Yes.

Yeah, they have to be in a freezer previously to use it, but that's not a

big deal

since our kitchen is like right next to the driveway.

I love that it fits when you put that third row up

because that's so essential

that you don't have to take the whole thing out if you want to put

the

third

Yeah.

And I saw lots of great trunk organization where things could

hang and all that, but it was not

reasonable

for the task that we're typically

doing.

We need something,

it's probably like 12 inches

Across and then 30, yeah, 36 or whatever the other way.

that's awesome.

And then

I was thinking about the Butler's

pantry, the bottom half.

first of all, I

love that's becoming helpful

in just your day to day life.

Now you said you're actually

putting the backpack

itself under there too in the butler's pantry.

Yeah, because otherwise

it just sits on

the

chair, out, which isn't a big deal, but when I don't want our backpack

just sitting at our nice dining room table, it's nice Just throw it in there.

That's bonus.

I didn't realize it

would fit in there.

That

is, I thought you could empty it and

then be able to hang it on 1 of the

mudroom

hooks.

So that's great.

And then you were saying, you made the comment about, oh, it's not really that

organized, but that to me, if it's, if you find what you need, Then it's fine.

If you can't find what you

need, that's when

you need an organizational tool.

It's not about how looks.

it's about how it feels.

do you open it up and go, oh, this is what I need.

if you can't see something because it's getting

buried

behind, that's when you need something.

But, Otherwise,

just have something in there, yeah, that you can pull the

whole thing out and just rummage.

Yeah, I mean, it's been great because, I didn't really know what

needed to go in there at first, so it's, I've really been adding to it

over time, I knew like diapers and wipes

but slowly I've been

like, oh,

actually I'm going to put water shoes in there because every now

and again, I've got to run upstairs

for those, so

why even put those in their rooms?

Just keep it

where

it's easy to access.

And yeah, I keep two swimsuits in there for the girls instead

of putting those up in

their closets because there's just...

No

point in climbing an extra floor to get a swimsuit if we

could just keep one down there.

Actually my son has like a bunch of ga like gaming systems

that he would just leave.

I don't like them in his room because I'm pretty sure he'll

just stay up forever playing them.

So they used to just sit on the dining room table too and I didn't

really think about that before.

But then I was like, oh there's enough now Atticus you can

throw your game bag in here.

And so it doesn't have to stare at me.

I love that all those

mystery wires

were taking up

this valuable real

They were in my camera bag and then honestly I just found things in

there like a pair of old candlesticks.

I'm like what are these even?

have

These been

back here for five years.

So it's clearly a very underutilized storage space.

That's what happens.

And something to think about to this is, for you and for the

listeners

is

I love that you said you're adding to it over time.

That is awesome.

And then also keep a mental note of the seasonal

aspect of it.

So

as it gets

cooler in the.

fall, think about whatever

you have down there, if it's some kind of cloth to open tote box or something or

been like even take

out okay, take out all the summer items.

You

don't need the bug spray

and

sunscreen in the swimsuits.

And then just take that whole thing and

just rotate

it on the second or third floor, and then when it becomes warm again,

you can almost just rotate like

the winter

and the

summer so that you're not again taking up valuable real estate in

the butler's pantry for off season

items.

Yeah, now with birdie starting preschool they lunch there and I

have to pack a lunch and I'm so I'm sure like that space just in

the next week is going to get.

Turned around into where her backpack goes with

her spare clothes

and the lunch box and

things like that in there.

you take

the dogs with you?

to if we're going on a hike or something.

Yeah, I take the puppy with us.

I still haven't gotten to where I've taken both dogs to many places.

That feels a little overwhelming.

Our older dog, she's great.

She can go anywhere, but it's mostly

just

But yeah, so I would say the front of her house now, I've had to rethink

the storage there to accommodate harnesses, leashes, dog, bags, toys,

because now I'm a bark box person

and

told

you I'm a whole new woman over here,

Lacey.

so we have mounting toys and treats and, basset hounds are special.

They need.

Their ears and eyes cleaned consistently with like special stuff.

So, if you've,

that's

not your thing, a basset hound is

not the dog for you.

which again, I'm sure Lacey knows I was not a high maintenance dog person

before, but that is who I am now.

I love it for you.

I love it

Yeah.

cleaning out all the, the crap that gets stuck in their ears.

So, now we have that all in the front.

So, I all need to be thinking of.

the best way to get all that stored in the future.

and I

was thinking with the transition into go

stuff, if you were taking

the dogs as having

some kind of to

go bag for the dogs with

Yeah, there

is stuff in, I forgot about that now

that I'm thinking, The trunk does have a leash.

dog bags and a bag of treats in it.

So I keep that in the car.

it can, but

I know this

again, I like,

I was like, I don't know what all to put in it.

So as the days

were going

by, I was like, okay, I'm rushing back in to get,

a leash or a harness or, treats or whatever.

So now they just stay there and it's become quite handy.

And

This

is

idealistic, I know, but going back to

the whole thing of the wires and the candlesticks, it's

just oh, they're in here.

What are they doing here?

On that same

note of that car trunk organizer,

it will need to be

revisited, and think about times when it makes sense,

like the changing of

the seasons

or

they Or, whatever makes sense to you, there's the idealistic, check

it every six months, but whatever life happens, blah, blah, blah.

But

just be noticing of, oh, are there things in here we're not using

anymore and take everything out, throw away

the trash.

Get rid of the things you're not using.

Put back in the essentials.

I forgot about another thing we added

to the car.

The excitement that just came out of you.

I love that.

I love that.

take out the trash.

So when I was looking up car organizers, there was, like, a trash

can that you can keep in your car.

So then I went down the rabbit hole of looking up car trash cans and found

one that like hooks, like we have a, instead of the captain seats, we

have a bench seat for the second row.

So there's like the middle between the girls that doesn't get used.

So there's one that like clips in

there.

And it's been so magical Cause, like I said, they're eating in the car so much.

And

so my car was just like

gummy wrappers and granola bar wrappers and, juice, Capri sun packs.

if

I didn't clean it out, then it was

like,

just piling up.

And now the girls love, it.

Oh, you gotta put it in the trash can.

It's right next to you.

And we empty it every couple days.

I love it.

The trash can's

great.

Laci, can we link on the website, her car organizer, because I want

to see the trashcan one too.

Alex if you can send me links.

Yeah.

I love how excited

that, that excitement that you got.

I

call those home tingles and I know it's

the car, but the car is

the extension of

the home.

I

got to see home

we are in the car a lot.

Trust me.

I think our car is like two and a half, three years old and we've

already put 60, 000 miles on it.

So we're in the car a lot.

I love that you

No, me

and my

husband have talked about this trash

can like to a weird extent of how much we're like, why did we not think of this?

This is so awesome.

if we, finish a can of Coke or whatever, you pass it back and you're

like, Bertie, put it in the trash.

I love that.

Oh my gosh, I love it.

And oh, speaking

of the girls helping.

So when you are, and especially with your daughter

going back

to preschool,

are you getting

more into the

habit of go grab the sunscreen, go find like getting them

involved

So in the house, they, that's still a little bit complicated.

The butler's pantry is actually a little tricky to open, so asking them to go in

there, it's like a, it's old, there's like a hook you have to turn, but the car, she

does know what we have in there, like we were at a friend's birthday party, and I

didn't know they were going to have water balloons, so, right, the kids are soaked

quickly, so then Birdie was like, oh mom,

can I

go to the car and get my dry clothes out?

I was like, yeah, girlfriend, go

get

it.

Oh, that's wow.

That's amazing.

know, which again,

we usually had dry clothes with us, but like buried in a bag somewhere.

So like.

she

knows now what's in the back

of the

car, and so she, and she can click the little button and

open, she can't close it, but

that's okay.

so

yeah, that came in super handy, her knowing where all

the things were and stuff.

And now I'm curious, because this is something, I like to

learn from other people too,

I'm always looking for better solutions.

So

let's say you use the

dry clothes.

So that's

out of the car.

How do you remember to restock

the dry clothes or something that needs to go back

Yeah,

Good call.

because yeah, I did have clothes for birdie.

I'd forgotten to restock the clothes for our younger one and had to borrow some

from, my sister in law who was there and I was like, okay, I got to be like

diligent, more diligent about if I do take something out and use it, putting it back.

That was really the first time that's happened.

that was my first, light bulb, okay, if I use something out of the back,

I do need to remember to restock it.

how do you do your reminders?

Do you do stuff on your phone?

Do you have paper?

Do you like,

like, how do you, or you just

try to cram it

all in your brain?

you have a whiteboard near the

back door that I'll write,

like

reminder

and calendar

things?

Or, Okay, we're

out of toilet paper.

I need something to shout at me before I leave the house that I need toilet paper.

But

I really think with the extra clothes, that's something we got home yesterday.

And I quickly was like, I know there's a load of laundry in the dryer.

I'm just gonna go grab a few items out of there and put them in the back.

Okay.

I think I bought a day planner like a month ago that I

used once.

I always think

I'm going to use the pen and paper planners.

But the

white,

in

theory, But

the whiteboard's great.

If you just, when you're walking in, just put

clothes, dry, dry clothes and car,

Yeah, the whiteboard,

I, I'm not big on the aesthetics of a whiteboard, but.

Honestly, yeah, we use that thing like crazy.

Communication

centers.

I'm pretty big on communication centers and it

can be, if you don't like the whiteboards, you

can use

an integrated

family digital planner.

but everybody is different.

And

for my

family,

having it bold

and visual on the fridge is.

Our path

to

success.

So it's trade it's trading off the visuals works for the

Yeah.

and in the mudroom, it's right next to the bathroom,

which we

are all using at some point during the day.

So it's our thing too.

if Lee or my husband is like, Oh, remember I have that thing.

I'm like, no, it's not on the whiteboard.

It doesn't count until it's on the whiteboard.

Yes.

If my

event was on the whiteboard prior to you telling me you had another

event, sorry, it trumps it.

You're done.

Yes.

I

love that.

Laci, how

do you communicate with

Joe?

Not well.

That's that's actually.

I, the, because Joe and I do the same thing

is he'll

be like, Oh, remember, I have D& and D this

And

I'm like, Nope, didn't know that.

And he's I told you, and I'm like, maybe you did, maybe you

didn't, but I did not know.

So I think we probably need a more concrete thing.

I'm such a digital person, because I, the visual is good for me, but the

digital is what I will make happen.

Like it's easy for me to do.

So we're going to have to figure that out.

yeah, I mean, especially with

all the kids going back to school, I know Isaac's probably still daycare this

Yeah.

He's gonna, he's going to stick with daycare in his preschool.

change.

But with, yeah, we have five events this week that I was like, if I

don't get these written down in somewhere, we will not make it.

It will not.

we

will schedule something.

I won't be able to.

Yeah.

It's taken us a while to get there though.

We used to be like, oh, you just text each other when you have

something and hopefully they

Remember.

have a shared calendar, a Google calendar.

I use, But Joe doesn't, so we need, we still need to find

the Lacey and Joe come together

That, And that's what's interesting is finding one

that works, if it's just the adults

or if

you're trying to integrate older children.

I have a friend, family of four, two adults, two children, they all have

Apple devices and so they have

a shared Apple

calendar, and even the tasks that the kids are supposed to be doing,

And they

can all

see in

real time and that works for them.

But

I would

love that.

That's my dream.

See, to me, I'm like, it sounds

like nothing's

getting done.

that day.

For

some reason,

if things are digital.

it's like

a real, pie in the sky.

Wouldn't it

be nice if that happened?

see, And I can't

have digital

either.

if it's

digital, it barely, I,

not the real world to me.

It's in this abstract AI world.

I don't live in the AI world.

Yeah.

But Lacey for you.

Yeah.

Maybe

it's finding that kind of hybrid

of what.

Joe.

What I need

to do,

because remember, we did a really The thing that I'm always going to go back

to is

our grocery list and like being able to yell out to our ALXEA of what

needs to go on there is the height of home management for my So I

need

to figure out a similar thing of that, where it's you just got to

shout it out and then it's somewhere.

So here's my recommendation for that.

I worked with the, those, have you seen those, digital planning boards?

I have, actively campaigned for one and, Joe comes from a place of no,

a lot of times to start

with.

so here's good, better, best.

Here's like the entry level is if you have an older tablet.

At the bare minimum that can be connected to your virtual

home assistant,

find

that can, so you could actually see what is on the grocery list,

have that app on there,

have a

virtual planner that communicates with the virtual assistant, and then that way

you can just push it, take, it's like

somewhere that's, The communications that are that's the equivalent

of the whiteboard and everyone

can just look

at it.

And as

the kids

get older, they can actually look

and see Oh, that's when

is.

So it's like the family calendar.

Wait, that, that now I'm wondering Alex, for your white board,

is there a calendar aspect?

Yeah.

The majority of it's

a calendar.

And then there's like the right hand side that has to do list labeled

on it.

So

is it,

is it a wipe for the month?

So you

have to wipe it at the end of the month and redo, so if you have to

write down something that's happening in three months, where do you put

that

information?

Oh,

Um,

about not real.

I'm like three months from now.

It

also lives in an

AI

on, hold on.

You said at

the top

that

you're scheduling your induction

date.

is

that gonna go on planner?

This is special one.

I'm really pushing to schedule it as early

as possible

so I can get it on Halloween.

The baby can

have a Halloween birthday.

So if

I can it'll be the

easiest thing to remember

I love

this.

This is I love this deep dive into just how you schedule things,

how Lacey

Yeah, Anything

that's after a month lives in my head.

Oh,

And we just hope it's gonna.

hold on a

second.

I do,

I really rely on the rest of the world to remind

me of

things,

right?

a sec.

You

schedule a vet

appointment.

Sorry, I can't.

So you schedule a vet

appointment for this dog who is essentially a family member.

The Basset Hound.

don't write

down that appointment anyway.

So

when I'm in the moment, I'll put it on my Google calendar, but

that

doesn't mean much.

I've missed many appointments in my life, for the record.

now

for the

job

we've been, I don't,

We might have missed one

so far,

but then we're able to reschedule.

but like right now his next appointment is we need to schedule something

for him to get like neutered.

but we haven't done that yet.

So I'll put it in my Google calendar and then hope that my

phone shouts at me at some point.

So

you are the person

that automatic reminders were made for.

Like when I get a text a

Yes, but it needs to

be like

multiple.

Like you can't just tell me the week of this is happening in

a few

days.

I

need week of,

day before, day of.

I'm

in awe.

I'm in awe.

You are about to have four

children, two dogs,

and you're going

back

to work part time and

you rely

on the

world

reminding you

of all your

appointments.

Don't

you ever double book things?

all

the time.

Yeah, Alex is so she brings out the best

when it

that.

Yeah, I really, when, yeah, we've definitely double booked.

Or had things very close together that it's okay, you got to take her

to her doctor's appointment, I'm going to run birdie to the dentist,

and then, one of us has to go to the school thing at four, who wants to

do, very day of, what's the day going

to look like?

But do you see how not stressed about it she is?

Isn't that

Yeah.

I know,

I

wish I could,

I wish I could purchase, I don't know, a dropper

full of this, you're, I love it, you

have

the light, you

love your life.

everything's

breezy.

you're not, this is just,

I'm in awe, this is, I, again, I want a podcast all about your

I'm

so

in awe of this.

What's your

self

care?

me and my husband are really

good

at

alternating

when we need it.

So we don't have a, we both need to be a part of dinner and bedtime and.

Usually I've been like, Hey, I'm going to go see a movie on

Wednesday and then I'm going to go to dinner with a friend on Thursday.

What two nights would you like to go do your own thing?

even though that means one of us is going to be like

doing

all the stuff

in the evening.

We know that it's.

worth it to give each other the time that they need after that.

I will say Alex is one of my pillars of motherhood as far as

examples go because the entire time I've known Alex, she's been a mother.

but she has never fallen into the trap of shoulds of motherhood.

She Very much is her own

person, and I just, I've learned a lot about keeping your own identity

while being a mother from her.

and I honestly, I think having Atticus so young really was something that probably,

I don't want to say forced you to do that, that you chose to do that, that

made it more part of your life as you went

on.

Yeah,

I think I.

I remember very vividly having thoughts of I want Atticus to see me doing these kind

of things.

I want him to remember that I, yeah, spent time with him.

I've always spent quality time with him, but that I didn't put anything on hold

for him or not do anything because of him.

so when I went off to graduate school for

the second

time.

Like, I went three hours away, and he stayed with his dad during

that time, and I would race back on weekends to see him, but

I

was like, this is happening, and I'll figure out some

crazy way to do it, but I can,

it'll

be fine.

Yeah, she is so good at making herself a priority, and it's really cool.

Yeah, and

again, having our own separate nights has always been, if I can sense

tension in my relationship or that my husband's worn out or that I'm worn

out, it's very much do we need to do?

Let's make it happen.

Clearly we're getting spent.

do you need to go away?

I've always told them like, go on a trip.

Please go somewhere

if

you need to.

Never feel like it's going to be too much on me because I always

want us to have that sort of Hey,

if you need to recharge, do not feel guilty.

We should always have

that option.

have you learned anything over these, about thinking about

your home more strategically?

What would your, big takeaway be, or what has changed for you?

I think such a

big

thought or aha moment that's come from our conversations over the last few months

at this point has been that it's so easy to focus on the looks or the aesthetics.

and think that fixing that is going to help you function more easily, right?

if everything's just

clean,

or if I can just get the arts and crafts rooms organized, then we'll use it.

Or, so I would say, if me and Sarah didn't have such

in depth

convos on the other podcast and you Lacey, I probably would have been focusing on

areas that weren't even functionally causing the obstacles during the

day.

It was

more like, oh, wouldn't it be nicer if that was

a cuter

space or that, had better storage or something, but it might have been an

area that we weren't even like using.

And I thought if we could make it look or store things better, maybe we'd

use it where you all really showed

me like, what are you already using?

Where are you already walking?

Where are you already setting stuff down?

Like where are the pain points that are currently on your journey that we can.

Start

to take away.

so I think that has been

the big

aha is the car wouldn't have even come to my mind.

I think if I had just,

I don't

know, looked at a worksheet maybe and or listen to something and thought,

Oh, what's an area that I could.

make easier.

I think I would have thought about our bedroom or, the kids rooms rather

than we're transitioning so much.

How do we honestly decrease so much time and effort in my day?

And

so really looks wise, not much

has changed

in my house, Like you walk around the house and you maybe see one

less backpack or Atticus's game system instead of sitting on

the bench moved away, but if

you could

see us.

Like

through the day and time,

you

know how much time has been saved and emotional,

like

toil saved from going up and down stairs and things like that.

I think you'd see a pretty significant difference.

I

also, and I know this is for Sarah too, the excitement you had over the

can

and the fact that you guys talk about it.

I'm like that, I think that's one of the coolest things that you like learn to

identify an issue and then figured it out and it's working so well and you're so

excited about it.

I think that's cool.

Yeah, it's really, because we talked so much about Oh, I hate

sitting down for meals places.

So my kids are eating in the car all the time.

And.

I didn't even think of it as a pain point.

I was trying to think of these bigger things, but like cleaning out trash

from the bottom of my car is more work than cleaning up their rooms

or, making beds or whatever, because.

The small little pieces of whatever, that the trash can was just such like a,

my goodness.

There's so much stuff on the floor of our

car,

which was also needed to happen in many ways with the new puppy

because he's sitting on, like I said, we bring him a lot of places.

He sits on the floor and I quickly was like, okay, he's chewing

on all their sucker sticks,

their wrappers, their

whatever.

I love, I'm like, I'm just

so happy.

I

love that.

you saw

that clarity of, you distilled

that

better

than I could

have.

And I love that you saw it and

you recognized

it.

And yes, repeatedly I've, one of the things that's come up, when

trying

to explain my work

participants, Sarah has

said, it's I'm a detective sometimes.

So like you said, it wasn't the

obvious things.

Like we had to keep digging and digging and you even dug.

Further.

I never even suggested a trash can.

So I love that, that you got into the process

and going back

to the

very

beginning, people

Often think my work is being a home organizer.

And I was like, if that's needed, I don't know.

like you said, the Butler's

pantry isn't

necessarily organized, but it's more useful.

And it's like,

awesome.

Yeah.

It doesn't

matter.

Cause

you shut

the doors.

it really matter.

as long as you can find what you need.

took like

things that were in five or six

different places

throughout our home and has been able to just Put them in a very convenient

place that again, I can close the doors and I'm not worried if it's like a

hodgepodge of items that someone else would be like, what's happening there?

It's I just reach in and grab what I need and I don't have to go up any steps.

For you, we never needed your house to look different.

you never needed your house your house is beautiful.

You do an amazing job of making it look

beautiful.

So not to toot our own horn with our tagline, but we really don't

care about how your house looks.

It's about how it

feels.

And it sounds like it feels better.

Yeah, it certainly does.

And especially the

car for us is an extension of the home, where I know for

some people that would be like,

not as big a deal for them.

We do spend so much time there and it is such a big

point of bringing things in and out that having those two

hubs, the back of the car.

And then that area, As you said, again, if I had organized it, I

probably would have thought the

front door,

cause there's, a little more space that's not utilized.

We don't hang out.

Near the front door.

So I'd be like, Oh, man, I should put some stuff there.

And you're like, that's not the path that you take,

You're not

going to change, walking to the car out the front door, going through the

tube gate, you're not going to do that.

You're just going to end up not using whatever's there.

so I think that piece was really helpful too, is work with the habits that

you already

have.

If your habit is going out that, that door or putting your stuff

in that

space already, work with that habit.

Don't

try

to overhaul your whole patterns of life.

On that note that you just said about the habits, it's yeah, and

like now you're

more

and more, you already came to the conclusion

of Oh, don't walk the swimming suits back

up to

the room,

Just to bring them back down.

Don't walk

this up oh, just leave it here.

And so I love that

you

are seeing

that

too.

what's my habit?

Oh, just leave

it here.

So I love that it's already

like spooling

on itself.

So I'm ecstatic about

Even with the car trash can, right.

We've tried so many times, okay, we're just not going to give the kids

snacks in

the car.

That is not

happening.

Let's all admit the kids are eaten in the car.

So how can we make them eating in the car, less of a headache for us afterwards?

again, we'll see how it continues to function as our life changes.

But I do have to skedaddle

though.

absolutely.

Thank

you for sharing, Alex.

Thanks for chatting

with me, ladies.

This has been great.

And yeah, game changer for the intense.

uh, chaotic life that I

live.

you, Alex.

Thank you for sharing your life with us.

All right.

Bye everyone.

I am happy and sad that we're at the end of Alex's journey

because I enjoyed Alex so much.

I want to be friends with her now, even though I've never met her in real life.

I just want to know more.

I can't wait to find out what she names her baby and if it gets

born on her desirable due date.

I want, I'm going to start following her dog on Instagram.

Like I.

I really admire Alex and I learned so much from her.

So thank you Laci for bringing her into this experience.

I, Alex officiated my husband and I's wedding.

Like when we were talking about who would be that, he looked at me

and he was like, what about Alex?

Which I think is just the funniest thing that he's the one that suggested her.

Cause, When Alex takes you on as her person, one of her

people, she takes you on.

So apparently we were at a graduate school event, get to know you.

And Alex was like, look, something I said or did, she was like, that

girl's going to be my friend.

And I am so thankful because she did.

And then she did the same thing with Joe.

Like the minute she met Joe, she was like, I want to.

I want to be around you.

And they have their own special little relationship too.

Like they took a good working class together and then would go try

different restaurants afterwards.

Like it's just, I, cannot sing her praises enough and how much

of a light she's been in my life.

So yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, I don't know.

Do I, does she only get to pick you or can I pick her?

is it a one way track only?

You can pick her too, I

even live in the same state, but no, she has, I really, I've

been walking around going like, how would Alex view this situation?

something happened to me this morning.

That was a stress bomb.

And I was like, huh, what would Alex think or say or

I also just love, so I feel the same way about participant

Sarah, of like, how do I make her be my friend, without being creepy?

And I've gotten to spend, we've sent like Instagram messages back and forth now.

And then I also just think about it and I'm like, who knew that, Six

months ago, I, one of the people I would talk to the most every day

would be this woman in New York.

And now I'm trying to make her friend my friend, and then vice versa.

I just, I think when you, I think it's just, it validates my thought that there

are just certain people in the world that you are a little bit more drawn to, and

if you lean into that, it's really joyful.

yeah.

I'm gonna continue to lean into it.

thank goodness for the power of zoom and the internet

to let us find our people, no matter how near or how far we are.

Spread and scattered and anyone listening who feels like they resonated

with our humor or our approaches.

Yeah,

Join us.

be one of us people who if you feel just yes, that's my type of humor.

Yeah, come laugh with us because we just want to laugh all day.

We do.

We do.

I don't want to steal your thunder, Sarah, but I've been thinking about

what my piece of gratitude is, and this is my piece of gratitude.

I'm so grateful for the internet.

And it wasn't, it's not to connect to people.

I guess in some ways it could be to connect to people this afternoon.

I've been having a little bit of a rough day energy wise and just making

a meal sounded so overwhelming.

We're also at the end of our grocery store, latest haul.

So we, there's not a like clear, easy stuff to make.

And a long time ago, Joe got me these ramen bowls.

So I can just take the bowl out.

put in hot water, and then I've got a bowl of ramen.

I don't have to do anything else.

And I was like, you know what?

This is the day for this.

I got, pumped in my head about it.

He even got special ones that he knew I would like.

the one I had today was a kimchi bowl that had kimchi in it.

I'm like, all right.

I make it.

It is so spicy.

And I'm a big old wimp when it comes to spice, so I'm like, It's okay.

No, I'm still gonna make this work.

Because I don't want to waste it.

I'm still gonna make it work.

So I googled, how can I make things less spicy?

How can I make my ramen less spicy?

And, I read through a list and I added several things.

It still was too spicy for me to fully eat, but I ate all the noodles.

And had a meal.

And so I just had this moment where I was like, I am so grateful for this

random person who made a page, a post about how to make ramen less spicy.

And I could use literally all, I used three of the four tips

to make it a little less spicy.

Do you want to know the tips?

I was going to say, don't keep me in suspense.

How do you make something less spicy?

So one was sugar.

I'm going to add sugar.

That's a tip.

Which I had already added some hoisin sauce, which has

a pretty high sugar content.

So I was like, got that one done.

Another one is to add some acidity, because the acidity will

fight the spiciness, apparently.

So I added some lime juice and then it suggested milk because there's a

lot of, ramens that are creamy and I just didn't even, I've heard of

milk and spiciness, but I never just thought oh, add some milk to this and

it'll just make it a little creamier.

And so I did all three of these things.

The last one was cheese.

And that was just one I couldn't quite figure out in my brain of the type of

cheeses that we have and what would go with it and that kind of stuff.

So I stuck with the first three.

But yeah, just.

The internet's so cool.

It's Man Roads again.

Essentially, you're about to, I could go on for 20 more minutes about

how I made home automations today.

So stay tuned for Laci and Joe's final episode, which happens to be next week.

But still, I got a little excited.

So mine is broad as well.

I'm thankful for music, which I know, but it's not just music.

I'm thankful for music.

And music teachers

Oh.

and to tie that in, I'm thankful for my willingness to try something new.

So I had drumming class this morning and I've been doing African drumming and this

is my second course and I'm like, Oh my gosh, I was just so thankful because for

45 minutes, I don't think I just, I just.

Zone.

I don't even zone out.

You're so focused.

I'm so focused.

you can't, we actually talk about how you can't think too much or too little, it's

almost like driving, like oversteering or like completely not paying attention.

You really can't think because then it won't work.

And It's very relaxing for me.

It's like 45 minutes of like almost meditation.

Like I don't almost remember the past 45 minutes in a weird way.

but the music, my music teacher is amazing.

So I was thankful for her and thankful for music and thankful for the opportunity.

And yeah, I signed

questions.

I have so many questions.

I knew you were going to say that.

I was like, do I just say music and stop there?

I was like, no, but it's specifically African drumming.

And I was like, as soon as I say that, Lace is going to have questions.

I am.

I know.

I know.

As soon as you said it.

like the moment with Alex, I lit up like a Christmas tree.

I was like, did not expect this.

Tell me more.

I need to know more goodness gracious.

What led you to African drumming?

What just led you in drumming in general?

I just, I want to know.

So quickly, my background with music.

I took a brass instrument and a stringed instrument.

In elementary and middle school, and so I was exposed to music, but

neither one of them really tickled my fancy, so nothing more to music

and I can't I'm not a singing person.

I'm not even I'm a really good dancer.

I was gonna say I'm not coordinated, but I'm actually a really good dancer.

So that's where I am with music.

And then when we moved to our community, eight years ago, there's this main

street with all the storefronts.

And I walked by and there's a music studio and there was African drums.

And I remember walking by that.

I had no idea what it was.

I'd never seen it before, no experience.

And I just looked at it and was like, That's what I want to do one

day, but that was eight years ago.

And then she actually became my son's piano teacher and.

And I always, one day, one day, I'll do that.

One day I'll do that.

And then, last year she was running a special with, because

you can buy, you need to buy the drum and then take the lessons.

And she did this special and I just jumped.

It was actually during our, this connects back to our human design

and you, I'm splenic authority.

I'm supposed to make decisions with my gut.

And I'm also supposed to do activities that don't require Yeah.

Thinking.

So I was like, yes.

So last winter was my first time with African drumming and I just love it.

Love that so much.

thank you.

I'm grateful for you sharing that.

I just, I don't know.

I love, first of all, I love when somebody's into something enough

that they can explain it to me.

We've talked about this before.

I also now have created a, drumming community that has mild drama.

I'm also the person that, my husband and I went to the orchestra once, and I,

made up a love story in my head about, I think it was a cellist and a violinist,

because they were, like, across from each other, and both good looking, so I'm like,

those two are in love, let's create that,

This is great

oh my gosh, I love, you just never know where this conversation's gonna go and

I know.

I know.

And we're just, we're saving all of these up.

I've just been saving them all up so that we can just have a whole trove of

bonus content for folks, in a No Shame in the Home Games subscription and

community that I am working on setting up.

Next week we have our final participant episode of the season.

Yes, and.

I am

Yeah.

sad happy.

I'm sad happy.

isn't there a really good German word for that?

That I feel like,

If anyone knows that German word for sad happy,

yeah.

let us know.

And thank you Lacey for everything.

Thank you, Sarah.