In this episode, I have an inspiring conversation with fitness coach Rebecca Stewart. Rebecca shares her journey with chronic illness, the struggle with a multitude of diagnoses, and navigating rapid weight gain in spite of maintaining an active lifestyle due to her profession. We discuss how the world of fitness and diet culture can lead to a disconnect with our bodies and spark a discussion about body neutrality as an alternative to body positivity. Rebecca gently shares her struggle with her health and subsequent mental health challenges, offering hope and resilience during the ‘middle moments’ of our lives. Much of our conversation centers around Rebecca’s ‘chill mobility’ method, which encourages small simple movements to improve overall health, regardless of physical fitness level. Essentially, the episode underscores the importance of trusting our bodies and embracing change, regardless of where we are on our personal health journey.
About our Guest: Rebecca Stewart
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Transcript
Welcome to sharing the middle where we're covering perfectionist overachievers, and anyone in the middle of a struggle come together to learn, to embrace the messy metals of life. I'm Lacy, your friend in the middle and guide. Who's claimed a theme this week is getting this podcast to you all. know it's been a little sparse around here lately. We're doing some really cool things over at no shame and the home game and the new to come joyful support movement. If you're a new listener or an old one, I've got. illness and children and your girl is doing her best, doing her best. I am really excited to share today's episode with you. I found Rebecca Stewart on Tik TOK last year. Her chill mobility has really helped me think about, my body and. Moving it in ways of what it needs, not necessarily what. Other people tell me to do. I kind of instantly fell in love with Rebecca and she's kind of one of those souls for me that I'm just so drawn to. And you'll, you know, here. That in this episode, I'm so excited for you to hear it. We're coming up on the year anniversary of sharing the middle. And we've got some changes coming in, all those things. So I just wanted to again, say, thanks for being here. I love sharing the metal with you. And let's jump right in. Well, you So much for joining me today, Rebecca. I have been a fan of yours on TikTok for a long time.
Track 1:And so I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna shoot my shot and see if she'd be willing to chat with me, because I love the Chill mobility series. That's what kind of pulled me into your account. but I also just love your kind of philosophy about, fitness, which can be really intimidating for a lot of people and With all this like dike culture and it's a really scary space and I find you to be a very comfortable spot in that very scary space. So thanks for joining me today.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Thank you.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:That is like the biggest compliment I could ever receive. Like it makes me honestly tear up whenever I get a comment that like someone feels like I'm a safe space because that's all I wanna bring to the fitness world, So Thank you. I really appreciate
Track 1:Absolutely. Well, thank you for, being that, because you know, You've got your, post about drink water, and I'm like, oh yeah. Have I drank water? I'm usually pretty good. We have a very hydration, uh, oriented household. Both of my children are the most hydrated children you'll ever meet. My husband, we like, we all have giant water bottles, but every once in a while I'm like, wait, I haven't drank out of my water today. Thank you
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:If you're listening right now, make sure you take sip of water.
Track 1:a sip. You what, I'm gonna take a sip right now. I've got my water right here.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Me too. Let's do it.
Track 1:but why don't you introduce yourself in your own words for the listeners.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:I always struggle with this, I never know what's gonna come out, but, I am a fitness coach, mobility and strength special specialist. and I came into the fitness world in the height of diet culture. My goal is to just create an inclusive and accessible and supportive space for people to be in fitness because so much of the fitness world that a lot of us grew up in is not that or was not that. and I think we're still trying to shift the mindset that exercise can look like a lot of different things and it doesn't have to be like an all out go hard or go home type of workout. Even moving your body for just a little bit can make a big difference. So that's kind of what, what I do in this space, To just try and make the fitness world a little better.
Track 1:and I believe you are so way to go.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:thank you.
Track 1:I have a silly kind of question. I know what mobility is, but would you be able to define that
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Sure. Yeah. So mobility is working through the end range. Motion or mobility? No. Should take that word out there. Let's start over. you can't define a word by using the word. so mobility is. Using your body through the end range of motion you have in your joints and mobility work helps us to increase the range of motion that we have. So it's a little bit different from flexibility in which your, body's just moving typically a little more passively. Mobility is the active range that you have with your body. Does that
Track 1:makes so much sense and I, 'cause that's what I've always been trying to figure out is the difference between mobility and flexibility. 'cause my brain kind of sees them at the same thing. We'll start with our first question. when you first heard the middle, what was your initial reaction?
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:The middle to me really feels like that space between where you have been and where you want to be. I was a, an athlete growing up, so I've always been the person that's like setting goals and doing all that kind of stuff. but I have found too, 'cause I have multiple chronic illnesses too. I know that you understand that world. sometimes the middle can be not being able to see what the end is, I feel like sometimes with chronic illness, we just live in the middle
Track 1:we do. Which is part of the reason why I started this thing is 'cause I was like, oh, this, there is no cure for what I'm going through. I just have to figure this out and figure out what life looks like here. There's no finish line, or magical drug or treatment, what I mean? That kind of thing. We can jump right into your middle moment. We were talking, gonna talk through.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:I feel like mine's a little bit twofold, but, this most recent chronic illness journey, I'll say, because I've been through a lot of them at this point. I think I have four or five of them. I don't even know. I stopped counting
Track 1:It is like a collector's edition, I have like before my life changing one, I guess I like, I am like, yeah, I got a couple over those, so I get it. Yeah.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah. Yeah. So anyone that's been in that like chronic illness diagnosis stage, some of them are very cut and dry, but some of them are not at all. and that was my most recent experience. I started having these symptoms, as early as like probably December, 2020. and It was really impacting my life and my ability to do my job. And, the way that I was able to move my body, which is huge when I'm like in the fitness world and my body is my job,
Track 1:sure.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:so I was having all these wild symptoms. It took me, ended up taking me. Five doctors to get some form of a diagnosis. but I still that was just back in, in July, early August, so I still feel like I'm in the middle because it's not really an official diagnosis. It's This medication seems to be helping. So we'll continue to write it up and see what happens.
Track 1:I do know. I do know from my own experience, it's interesting to hear you say, well, I have kind of a diagnosis, which is relatable for me, but this idea that like a diagnosis feels like it's an achie, like a goal you're trying to achieve. And even when you get it, you're like, wait, maybe it's not an end point. And it's really hard and confusing to be able to even define anything, even when you get a definition of what's going on.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yes. It almost feels like a diagnosis in the chronic illness world is like the new beginning of the middle, because now you're just like starting over your life with this new context, but it never really is going to end for the most part,
Track 1:I also find diagnosis is about other people, not about you. It's about being able to tell other people what's going on. It's about being able to tell doctors, insurance companies, all that stuff, what's going on. But at the end of the day, it doesn't change what you're going through in a lot of cases because most chronic illnesses I've found Don't have that clear cut answer there aren't like, oh, we treated doing this, and this. It's let's throw all these different things at it and see what happens. it's one of those things that you're like, I have felt, maybe I should say I feel that I've been like reaching for, but the more that I get closer to one, I'm like, oh, this is for everybody else.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah. That's so real. I was talking, I just, started working with a therapist shortly after I got this, like pseudo diagnosis and she was talking to me and she was like, so how does it feel? 'cause she's amazing. She's actually previously a nurse that worked with, complex medical cases. So I feel really blessed to have found her. I feel like she's the perfect fit for me. but she was like, so how does it feel? And I was like, it just, and maybe this is because I have been through so many diagnosis at this point, I was just like, it just feels like another day, like now I just keep moving forward and hopefully we have. More information. Hopefully things are gonna start feeling better, at the end of the day, there's nothing I can do to change the fact that I have it.
Track 1:I also wonder, and we don't have to talk about this if you don't have to, but I know that you have type one diabetes. Which makes everything way more complicated. And I just, I am curious if that prevented you from getting diagnoses. 'cause everyone wanted to attribute everything to you that
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:That's a good question. yeah, I think more so, not as much the diabetes, but I do also have
Track 1:Well preach. Woo woo. Yeah. .That's one of mine too. I'm like, yeah, I got that one. Check mark
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah,
Track 1:I'm like, yeah, I got that one. Check mark
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:because, one of my major symptoms with this most recent diagnosis was, I gained 85 pounds in about a year and a half. and yeah, talk about a huge change. And a lot of doctors just wanted to attribute it to that because they were like, you know that happens with PCOS? And I was like, yeah, but like I just had this gut instinct that something else was going on,
Track 1:as a person with PCOS, it happens, but it doesn't usually happen if you know you have PCOS and you're managing it, And so that has always had always been a marker for me as well, of Hey, something else is going on here because I'm doing the same stuff I was before. I'm taking all the medicines you guys want me to take, da. And it's still happening. So at some point we have to recognize, I don't have control over that, which you, I could get on a soapbox about PCOS and how unsupportive so many doctors are. 'cause they don't understand and it's probably 'cause it's very poorly defined. I don't know. It's fine. But,
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah. Yeah.
Track 1:And everyone's trying their best. And because PCOS itself is such a bucket of symptoms, so for me, when I was, so I've, I'm a list mine you don't have, but, so I have, Hashimoto's. I have Hashimoto, so I have, which is a thyroid issue. So I take thyroid medicine every day. I have my PCOS and I have anxiety. And so when I started to not feel right, I was constantly attributing it to those things. Not as much the Hashimoto's 'cause I'm like, no, I got this. We, I have a deficient, like the logic of my hormones aren't changing that much. You know what I mean? I'm still taking my medicine every day. It shouldn't have this. but PCOS and anxiety, I, they're real easy to attribute. Everything too. And it took me a while to even recognize that what was going on with me was so different because of those things. And so I'm always just curious
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah.
Track 1:others' experience with that. know, Because when you have one chronic illness, you are more likely to have another chronic illness. same with like autoimmune diseases. If you have one autoimmune disease, you're more likely to have another one. Yet it still feels like an uphill battle to get people to take you seriously about them.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah. Yeah. I feel that because obviously the type one diabetes, that was my first diagnosis back in 2007. and then I was like riding the coattails, didn't have any other issues until, 2020. I was diagnosed with both PCOS and A DHD. and so I had started on some A DHD medication just to see if that I was having big problems with memory and concentration and, like gaps in my memory, not being able to like, remember things that had happened in the past. And first of all, I had told multiple doctors that, and it just seemed to go over their head and I was like, that seems like something that we should talk about.
Track 1:It's a big deal, right?
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:right? But, so I tried a DHD medication and nothing really seems to help. Which was another indication to me that something is going on more so than just like what I'm currently already dealing with,
Track 1:absolutely. And trusting and learning your own body as one of the hardest things that, and I going back to, I blame diet culture for, I don't wanna say I blamed it, but I, so I've always been big, so my entire life I was always the tallest girl in the room. I was always big. I'm big boned. I could lose a hundred pounds and still be big, It could never, that's never gonna change for me. and so my whole life I have been fighting my body to not be big and I've never trusted my body. because of that diet culture, because, seventh, eighth grade, I'm trying diets, So I just, I, it's been radical really for me, the past year of oh. I can actually trust that my body's telling me something. and I imagine for you to go through such a big change in something that's your job, like your physical job had to have been really tough. So I would love to hear more about that kind of part of this medal.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah, I, so I have aligned myself with more with body neutrality, which is just accepting your body the way that it is. And I don't think that you have to love your body. I think that's a really hard step for a lot of people. Just being able to appreciate everything that your body does for you, and the fact that in, in my opinion, weight gain and weight loss are neutral, and weight maintenance is neutral. So there's nothing bad about either one, but it was the quickness with which that gained the weight. That told me that flagged my brain, something is wrong. Like people don't just up and gain. I was gaining like 15, 30 pounds in a month. that's not normal,
Track 1:No. Especially if your job is fitness related, so it's not like you're doing nothing
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yes. Yeah. and if anything, I was more active than I had been pre covid because pre covid, I was working a desk job. I worked at a nonprofit. so I was more active after the pandemic started than I had been before. And I hadn't changed anything about my diet or my, eating habits or, was more active than not. But I would go to doctors and they'd be like, just, try and eat a little bit less. And I'm like, but you never asked me how much I'm eating to begin with that was a really hard part of be, because movement is such a huge part of what I do. Like I would have to modify, I'm also, I had Not competing right now, but had been a competitive power lifter. so I had to modify the way that I was lifting weights because my body had changed so much, and ended up injuring my back a little bit because of that at one point. and just being able to, I, I was so fatigued with everything that was going on with my health. My joints were in pain all the time. My muscles were in pain all the time. So just trying to like .Change weights out, ReRack weights for my clients, and move through my day and be as active as I needed to be. My body was screaming at me that something was wrong,
Track 1:I also just wanna take a minute and say, thank you and kudos in your explanation of how the weight gain. Does not have anything to do with you and your self-image. Like it changed the way you lived your day-to-day life. And I think a lot of times when people are talking about weight gain, they're only thinking about that physical appearance aspect and other people and that kind of stuff. And I think that's something that I've had a hard time figuring out in the bo body positivity space of like where Where are those lines? What, how do we talk about our bodies when there is something wrong and the weight gain is a problem, but it's not because it's a problem in itself. Did that make sense? I,
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:yeah. it's not necessarily just a problem for your appearance, which it can be for some people, and I think it's totally valid too. if people do wanna change their appearance, I'm fine with that. But the way that your body moves through space and the way that. You're able to get up and down from the floor or bend over or something can be drastically impacted by, what, how your body feels.
Track 1:Sorry. Now my brain is just really going into the physicality of the middle that I haven't really thought about before about that, about sorry, my brain is like literally going in 20 different directions right now, so I apologize for my STI ring. But I, it is so interesting though that our body is always in a state of middle, right? It's always in some kind of process doing something and we are always in the state of middle. 'cause you're born, your body's always doing something and you die. And so it's just interesting to think about the body's experience of the middle. I didn't mean to get like super deep. I promise.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:No, absolutely, because it, our bodies are meant to shift and they do that sometimes to protect us. Sometimes it's in response to stress that we're going through, or sometimes it's in response to change in lifestyle habits. Sometimes it's just in response to like When people get pregnant, they have to, their body has to shift. if you wanna talk about body shifting in one way or the other, that's a huge example of of that. I haven't been through it, but I know you
Track 1:I have twice I would I would not recommend it to people. my children are the greatest gift I've ever had in my life. I love them more than anything. All of that stuff. But pregnancy was very difficult for me. But I think I also just the more that we talk about, I'm like, as women, I think it, it is probably a little different for men where they go through puberty and then they're just. Consistent the rest of their lives. Now there's of course, aging and whatnot, but like women, have a cycle every month they go through puberty and menopause. They have op, the opportunity potentially for pregnancy to change their body. And so I just, I do think that there is something about the physical female body that Is in more fluxx and is more change. And I think that probably traditional medicine has not clued in on that because I, there, there's so many things that it's oh, they didn't know this about women's bodies until 20 years ago. And I'm like, wait, I was in high school and we didn't know about this.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah. 'cause women weren't included in research studies until I don't know the exact date, but it was not that long ago that women started being, have to include it in, in research studies.
Track 1:Yeah, and I bet in the fitness space especially, which is very masculine, male dominated, there's also this element of, you do this to get this outcome. And women's bodies are just so different in a lot of ways when it comes to, I went to their chromosomes. And I just wanna say, I'm using the term women very loosely here. we're talking about chromosomes, which is different than gender. I just wanna be very clear. But, yeah, it's very. Sorry. Now my brain was like, Ugh. And then, for those who are trans, they're in a, okay, I'm, I need to calm down. I know. And so my brain is just really going through how this change and this process, especially thinking about this, where you are and where you're going is inescapable.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah, the body is so complex and a lot of, fitness culture, diet culture on the internet. it's hard because we have to like, put out content generally that's so quick, so people will pay attention to it. But because of that, it turns into all this Polarizing thinking it's either this way or it's this way. And there's so much nuance in the middle that doesn't really get a lot of attention on social media because it's just harder to get that to, quote unquote go viral or get the views or whatever. but yeah, the body is so complex and it can't be boiled down to just, A or B most of the time.
Track 1:I think that's a really, great transition. 'cause I also wanna know about where you came up with chill mobility and how that became what it is. which I think really cool.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Thank you. so yeah, chill mobility for me was just born out of necessity of getting myself to move again. going through this chronic illness piece, it's interesting to look back on now that I feel like I'm starting to get to a more positive side in my, mental and physical state. Things are changing in a positive way now that I've started on some new medication. Looking back, I was in a terrible mental space and physical space to be honest. like last summer, fall, winter, I was, if we wanna get real candid, like questioning whether life was worth it anymore, if I was going to make it to 35 or 40 with the way that my body was so rapidly declining, and my body felt so bad all the time. And I as a, movement is my job.
Track 1:Yeah.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:if I couldn't get myself to do my mobility work, I was like, I need to have some sort of accountability out there that, if I can just The very first chill mobility video I put out there. I sat down with my coffee. I, and I told myself it, it says in the video, I can have an extra cup of coffee this morning if I do my mobility work. and so I just put the camera up, I recorded it and I did a little voiceover. I wasn't expecting anything out of it. I was just like, if I put these videos out, maybe it'll help one person to learn that Five minutes or less of movement can make such a big difference in their life.
Track 1:and I wanna chime in and it's movement that is so accessible. So for me, as a person with a chronic illness who Was basically bed bound. It's wait, I can, I have the capacity for a minute or two to sit up And, like I would move like from my legs to have a better hip mobility. I don't remember which one, but it was just like
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah.
Track 1:I could do that. And for me, fitness is still a big question mark because if I, with chronic fatigue syndrome, that could make me go backwards. But I, it also could help me build it up and it's a big old question mark and I'm still trying to figure it out, but knowing it's I can do this one thing for my body today of just, a few minutes of this mobility. And it's different than stretching. which I actually really like that it's different from stretching. 'cause stretching feels very 'cause I'm not flexible. I'm like the least one of the least flexible people you ever meet. My whole family is but my body can move. It can move from here to can move from here to here. And so to be able to do those things that, you know, Hopefully, I need to be better about it, that it could be something you do for the rest of your life to keep you moving. so I just wanted to pause there and say that it's very accessible when we talk about movement. We're talking about the movement you do every day, that when you do this mobility, it makes your. day-to-Day life feel better. 'cause I'm not about you. I'm never like, oh, good stretch. I'm gonna be a better person tomorrow. That doesn't usually happen for me, but with the mobility, I could tell the France that my bus, my muscles and joints are moving differently. yeah.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah. What I like to say is that mobility helps you move with more ease and less pain. And whether it's you do it in the morning before you start the day, so you feel a little bit better, or, if you work a desk job or if you are, bed bound or chair bound. sometimes just a little bit of movement can help those like aches and pains and tightness that you feel and shift it out just enough that things feel a little bit better. And that's my goal with to mobility is just to help people just feel a little bit better. 'cause that can make such a huge impact.
Track 1:It really can. It really can. And I think I didn't understand that until I couldn't do things. And I think, it's sad that a lot of times we don't necessarily appreciate something until you can't do it. when I'm, talking, like I, when I try to help like my mom understand what I'm going through, I'm like, okay, I want you the next time you go to a shower, think about every time you lift your arms up. If that is hard for you to do, can you see where, man showers are just take a lot, or loading the dishwasher. How many times do you bend down to bend back up when you're doing the dishwasher? And it's those little things that can be really hard specifically for me and in what I go through. and so I recognize now oh, when my body does this. It is something. It's not nothing, and I appreciate it.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:I have one, in-person one-on-one client, that I started working with recently and doing some mobility work and strength training, and they. Had a pretty severe shoulder injury and in the shower or like putting on deodorant, couldn't reach around to even touch their other side of their armpit. And now since starting doing mobility work and strengthening that shoulder, they can reach over and do that for the first time in years. And you just think about the impact that has on your life if you can shift even that much to be able to move. to a place that you couldn't before, like that has an impact on your daily life.
Track 1:absolutely. And all the places you can go now. Absolutely. I do usually like to bookend our conversation with, a piece of advice. 'cause I love a good takeaway or tangible. So what piece of advice would you like to maybe either give yourself previously, other people, what would you like to say?
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah, I think, it works in both accounts for the chronic illness and the, fitness mobility space. just that the one thing that I always had to hold onto in the last year was that there's always hope that things can get better. and sometimes you just need to find one thing to hold onto used to imagine my Future self a year ago, I would imagine my future self just saying, wait for me, because think, oh my God, I'm gonna cry. wait for me because things are gonna get better. and if you can have one thing that you can hold onto whatever that is, whether it's reaching out to a friend or knowing that Just moving a little bit every day is gonna make you feel a little bit better. Find one thing to hold onto because that can make all the difference.
Track 1:I really love that. I also, it's very timely for me because we're almost to what I'm calling, like my year anniversary of my I'm like, it's disability really. where my life drastically changed and I didn't know where I would be a year from then. So to think of like me then to see me now of Hey, you're still working through it. All this cool stuff. That's really cool. So thank you. I really appreciate that
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Think it's important too to life is always gonna have its ups and downs, but when you're in the downs, there can, there's only up to go,
Track 1:Absolutely.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:is a cliche thing that everybody says, but there's always hope that things can get better. You never know what could happen tomorrow or a year from now.
Track 1:thank you so much for joining me today. Where can people find you? All of that good stuff.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:yeah. I'm on all the social medias, at Rebecca stewart.co. and I can, I think
Track 1:Yeah, I'll put those all in the show notes.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:perfect. but yeah, you can find me on Instagram and TikTok. I'm much more active on, TikTok, but I'm trying to get into the YouTube space. I have some plans. It hasn't happened yet, but we'll see.
Track 1:It is so much work. That's why like we're recording this video. Will I ever do anything with it? Probably not 'cause it's so much work.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:It's It really is
Track 1:So I, I don't blame you at all. thank you for sharing the middle with me today. I really appreciate it and, for sharing and being vulnerable. Thank you.
squadcaster-bh7c_1_10-24-2023_120436:Yeah. Thank you for doing this because it's, I told you by DM a while back, I was going through a really tough time this summer and listening to one of your episodes, I don't remember who was on it, but it was an episode about grief and that really helped me in that period of time that I was in. so I thank you for starting this and doing what you're doing because it's making a difference.
Track 1:Oh, thank you. I needed to hear that today too.