When I first started The Mddl and created its content, it consumed me. I ate, drank, and breathed it.
But now, I don’t want to do that anymore.
I still love The Mddl and all that it has done and become for me. It has shifted for me. I look at it like my job that I happily do every week. It gives me a space to create consistently in a box, make connections, and someday make money.
Look, I’m Fickle
I’m fickle with my creativity. I was able to suppress this for a while and used the different areas of my life to fulfill this – starting a new job, moving, getting married, having a baby, etc. It worked for a long time.
Then I was bedridden and couldn’t do those things. So the need to create exploded out of me (and birthed The Mddl). During that time, I learned about what it means to be a Manifestor in Human Design. My energy is designed to create something and move on, not necessarily stick with it for periods of time.
Recently, I started to have that itch again. My creativity was stifled and uninspired. Then I thought… what if I just let that creativity fly? What if I leaned into it in a constructive way?
Leaning into It
Creating helps me survive the messy middles of life, so I’m creating a space (see look at me, meta-creating) where I can just let that creative energy flow. It’s a no-holds-barred area where whatever my little creation fixation for that week will be highlighted.
You’ve already seen me do this a little bit with my crocheting. I was even able to use it to relate back to The Mddl. But I don’t want that to have to be the case. Honestly, who knows what it will be for the week? Knitting, crocheting, baking, gardening, a new app or technology may fall into this. It may be a random blog where I need to talk about Vanderpump Rules for the week and get my thoughts out. It doesn’t have to be anything but whatever it is. Most importantly though, it doesn’t have to be a lasting project I stick with forever.
Guess what? If it’s nothing, I’m going to tell you that too. Wild, right?!
Creation Fixation is Born
Every week as part of the weekly newsletter, you’re going to see what my creation fixation for the week is. It’s the thing that my brain can’t quite let go of – whether it’s a problem to solve (this usually is at the core of it), a project I am doing, or whatever it ends up being. Maybe it’s related to The Mddl or not.
I hope you can see how there is beauty in this for me in so many ways. It’s giving myself a tool to be who I am without judgment or shame. And as usual, I’m letting you in on that ride.