In this first of the in-between season bonus episodes of ‘No Shame in the Home Game,’ bubbling co-hosts Lacey and Sarah delve into the concept of the ‘clothes chair.’ They discuss how it serves as a crucial transition space for half-worn clothes and the importance of resetting this space during laundry day to prevent clutter. They also share personal stories and insights on making household routines, like laundry, more efficient. The conversation includes tips on sorting, folding, and simplifying the process, ensuring that home management is functional, even if it’s a bit messy.
For more No Shame In The Home Game:
Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review!
Transcript
Welcome to No Shame in the Home Game, the podcast that cares how your home feels, not looks. I am your bubbling co host. I just was telling Sarah all these things I'm excited about and I feel like the universe and I are at one and we got this and things are happening. I'm here with Sarah, my ever patient with my bubbling co host. Hi, Sarah.
Sara:Hello, Lacey. So a visual for the audience. Imagine you're putting pot after pot on your stove with water and you just keep turning on the burners. And then all of a sudden you turn around and all of the pots are boiling. That is Lacey today. All of her pots are boiling at the same time and it's like over here, over there, like everything's grabbing your attention. And I think it's wonderful Because this is part of who you are, and I just, all your parts are boiling right now, and I love it.
Lacey:Yeah. I don't want to say I'm in a manic state because I wouldn't, that's a certain level that I'm not, but I am, I'm just like, Oh, this and this. And I just, yeah, even just with like my son's OT appointment later, I sent messages of I think this needs to happen and this, and so I'm a lot today, but I am not charged today. This is our first in between seasons episode, and we're talking with an expert. Named Sarah. Hi, Sarah.
Sara:Hi, Lacey. I am so excited, and I am not embarrassed or ashamed to tell you how excited I am to talk about this topic of your clothes chair. I'm giving everyone permission listening. If you want to laugh out loud, if you want to make fun of me for being a geek about a closed chair, go for it. I am all in, I am president of the closed chair fan club. And here it's so interesting because it's one of those things where I think everybody has one. But people don't talk about it,
Lacey:Can you define a closed chair?
Sara:yes, this is great. So well this is the other thing, and this is why I'm glad we get to have two different points of view, is that I think there's a little bit of a spectrum or open tour interpretation. I see the closed chair as a transition space. for me, I utilize it as clothes that you intend to wear again that don't need to go into the laundry. So they can't go back into your closet because they're not 100 percent clean. They're not ready to go in the dirty hamper because they're not at ew gross, I can't wear it again level. But you know that you might do that activity again. in the next couple of days. So it's like a temporary holding space. This is like when you're at the airport and you're not at your final destination,
Lacey:you're in a layover.
Sara:going to walk around the terminal. You're going to walk around. You're going to go get a snack. You're going to go to the bathroom and get some water. You're going to stretch your legs you have another flight, but you got to kill some time. So the closed chair is that holding spot until your next flight departs. And I've heard some really great terms and I can't remember them. So anybody who wants to comment on social media and tell us what terms you use for your closed chair. I actually have a bench in the bathroom. That is my landing spot. I'm usually, I think I've mentioned before, as much as I work with home management inside the house, I'm actually usually outdoors more than anything. So. Sarah be dirty a lot. So I have to put on nice clothes to go to appointments and go do things, but then I'm often changing to go back outside and be dirty. But that outfit that I wore for an hour, two hours, like it doesn't need to go in the hamper. it's not done. So I put it there as a holding place, but here's the key is laundry day. So in our house, it's a seven day laundry cycle. Laundry day, everything, regardless of status, it gets reset. It's like a full sweep. Airport is closed at midnight. Full sweep. Everything gets cleaned and then the cycle starts again. Because, as I say to my clients, You don't want something that is supposed to be temporary to become permanent. So if there's never a reset, then it might end up being the closed chair becomes more of this is where my clothes live. Oh, I don't put my clothes in a drawer anymore. I now have a closed chair where that's just where everything lives. That's not how I use mine. and I'm not even judging if that's how you use yours. However. Do it with intention. Know yourself that this is, oh yeah, no, I want my clean clothes to live here. That's fine, but just do it, don't mix and match what's clean, what's dirty, what's half dirty. I need a term for half dirty.
Lacey:I just want to say you are, hitting on some things that we've already talked about, but I didn't put together as my closed chair. So I don't know if you remember my old house, I would sit and there was a, two storage, bins on top of each other. And that. Became my clothes chair, but here's the problem. It became permanent because I would put clothes that I meant to hang on it. And then I never got around to hanging them And I will say I'm in my new house now. I recently just put in a clothes chair. Like literally it is a chair next to my dresser where I get dressed. And, I'm sitting here giggling to myself because I have slipped back into these have to get hung up and I just haven't done it yet. So I needed to hear, Hey, reset. but this, concept, Joe has always been really good about, he has a pair of pants that he wears to work and they're like his pants for a couple of days. Cause why would that's still nice so I love the idea that it is a little messy, but it's functional and that's okay.
Sara:I like that you just succinctly said it. It's a little messy, but it's functional. And I actually, one of my merchandising pieces that you can buy, it says closed chair, don't care, and it's got a picture of a closed chair and it's got sort of this rock and roll like feel because embrace it. It's a tool. It works. Is it aesthetically ideal? come on. Who cares? who's going to see your closed chair? Are you having a photo shoot later? Okay. Here's who does care your realtor if you are selling your house
Lacey:Hey, It went away. I remember the day that it went away. Even, I think you were there, you were like, Those are good.
Sara:Think I remember saying I missed it because it took on its own personality. It was like a figure in the room So Joe has his own clothes chair. Is that what you're telling me? And then you have
Lacey:Yes. Because in our new house, we have two benches cause we don't get rid of furniture and one of the benches we can't, we're not using anymore. So there's one in front of the bed and then there's one in front of a window and he uses the one in front of the window as his closed chair. And then my stuff's on the other side of the room and I just put a chair there and it is now my closed chair.
Sara:and let's be clear, and this is where I'd love getting into nitty gritty. You were saying you were putting stuff there that actually needs to be hung up. So, does that mean you're only putting clean clothes there, or you're also mixing in half
Lacey:Only cleave. no, that's a lie. I will say I'm usually only doing one at a time. It's an either or of it's either clothes that I need to have hung up or it'll be like my sweater that I wore that day that I'm like, I'm not going to like my cardigan. I'm not going to throw that in the wash. I can get a day or two out of that. I'm realizing now I never intentionally made this decision, but that one, it's either one or the other.
Sara:And again, it goes back to the functionality that works for you. I was actually wearing that shirt that said, Clothes Chair Don't Care. And my husband, he looked at it and he read it and he goes, wait, I don't get it.. Let's talk about this. I said, Closed chairs are a tool that can be used very effectively if managed correctly. Do what works for you. No judgment. And he was like, Oh, I'm like, yeah, no, the end. And this is why I always say there's no one size fits all. It's what's the goal for you. And if the goal for you is, yeah, I don't want to do more laundry than I have to. And sometimes I wear clothes that I can wear again. Great. Then let's use a clothes chair or like with you with the clothes that need to be hung up. Okay. These are clean. They're designated as clean. I don't have the energy to put these away right now. So they are the way station. They're just standing on that train depot waiting for that train to come. And you know it will.
Lacey:Just, there's another category too.
Sara:Bring it on.
Lacey:I tried this on. I didn't want to wear it today, but I haven't hung it back up yet. So it's clean. So currently my clothes chair is that and clothes that need to be hung up.
Sara:Yes. And I will be honest. this is becoming a bit of a true confession. My clothes bench in my bathroom is half worn clothes. Like I don't wash my exercise clothes every day. So that stuff is all in the bathroom. And yes, I also have a chair next to my closet. Same thing. Like a jacket that I wore that just needs to be hung back up is hanging on the chair. I said we have a seven day rotation laundry. So on my day of laundry, Sometimes I'll fold it, but I won't, I'll get too sleepy before the clothes get all the way home. So to get them off the bed, I will put them on the chair. So they also have that. I'm clean. I just need to go home. I'm not home yet.
Lacey:preach. I feel you. Clothes, chair, clothes.
Sara:but it's embrace the tool and just know what the tool is for. Okay. And it's, it's hard if everything goes on the floor.
Lacey:I
Sara:Things that are clean that need to be folded go on the floor and then you start mixing in things that are dirty that absolutely need to be Wandered get on the floor and then you mix in things that you could wear again If all those three categories get mixed up together, you're really creating more laundry for yourself.
Lacey:just had another realization. Isaac, when he turned five, I told him one of his jobs is I will fold his laundry, but he has to put it away. And, I've been folding it because he has a rug and so I fold it on the rug because it feels like I'm not putting it on the ground. I don't know. It doesn't make sense, but it's my logic. and then what I've been doing is I've been leaving it there. And then guess what doesn't happen? It doesn't get put away. And so what happens is there is that question of like, well, what's clean, what's dirty, what's clean, what's dirty. I'm realizing the top of his dresser that just has stuff on it right now, that needs to be where I park it. And then he has to put it away from there. Sorry, that was a big realization for me.
Sara:this is great. This is when we talk about this because If you can see what everyone's doing behind their door, you'll hear all these great solutions that might work for you. So I ask you, is all your family's laundry mixed together? Or do you do Isaac's laundry separately?
Lacey:what happens is. it's sorted out, but it's generally together. So like, Jo's and I's are together. Each of the kids have their own laundry basket, but theirs often gets combined. it is purely based on the volume of the load that's going in. Whatever, available laundry there is gets taken.
Sara:and is this done on a certain day? Is this time triggered or just when it's full triggered or when mama has energy
Lacey:I, by the way, I'm loving us talking about my laundry process. Okay.
Sara:it too. I'm in my happy
Lacey:Joe is responsible for Take it, so we have hampers in our closet that are like hanging bags. And so the idea is he takes a hanging bag down and then sometimes he'll fill it to the top with kids laundry And then he does the washing, the drying, he puts it back in the hanging bag, it comes back upstairs, then we have another cart for clean laundry that's actually next to my dresser as well. And so then that goes there. So that is my signal to then fold laundry. so we're very, there is a system, but we're loose with it. And I'm really starting to accept that's how we roll and that As long as we have clothes, and we know where things are, and we have a system, stuff happens when it happens. we really are each other's trigger, right? So like, all of the things are full. Joe, we need some laundry. Lacey, there's no more room for bags. We need them folded. Okay, yeah. That's usually what happens.
Sara:so I talk about events happening with prompts. it's a time scheduled prompt or an event prompt. So those are all event prompt, which is great. And if that's working for your family and I like that you already came up with your solution of, okay, I'll just put the clean clothes on top of the dresser. If that starts to become a place of confusion, still mixing dirty and clean, then I would come up with a backstop of Clothes have to be put away before bedtime so in our house, my son does his laundry on Saturday and don't ask me why he does not want to put it away on Saturday. And that's fine. He has until Sunday bed to put it away. So there's a basket of clean laundry and I'm, and this is where a lot of parents will say, it frustrates me, or it triggers, or it upsets me, I have a boundary that basket of clean laundry will sit there, and I know by the end of Sunday it will be put away. So I don't get upset because I know the finish point is coming.
Lacey:What happens if he doesn't put it away? Cause that, we actually, I was trying to do that with Isaac. okay, you have two days to put your laundry away. And I don't want to set up punishments for not putting my laundry. That doesn't teach him what I want it to teach him. So he's also only five. So I'm not super, like, we're still figuring it out. So I'm just curious, what is the consequence in your house?
Sara:Great question. And first I would say at five years old, kids usually don't want to do tasks by themselves. So asking him what would help you put your laundry away. Maybe if you just sit on his bed while he does it, he wants company. Figuring out what, and letting him be part of the solution. I have learned that when you invite someone else to be part of the solution, it's much more likely to happen. So for my son, yeah, I don't call it. a punishment. It is, I just think of it, if this, then that. And that way it's within his control. if the laundry doesn't get put away, then something he would do with his free time, it's no longer free time. that is no longer an option., You had 24 hours to do it. If you still didn't do it in that time, then any time past that 24 hour window, it's okay, then you don't have any free time. no, you're in your room putting your clothes away. And that's one of those things about, I read in one of the parenting books. There was a, Coach said, if you have three interceptions in a game, you will be benched for the rest of the game. And he told the quarterback before the game started very clearly that if this, then that, and there was no emotion. It was just plain and clear. And so with the laundry thing. It's always been very clear and we allow for life to happen. trust me, if something, if there's an extra event or we're out of town, or, I mean, of course, like this is going back to the word of the day, scaffolding, this is just scaffolding that gets to be flexed and it does flex, but yeah, if he's had 24 hours to do it and then it doesn't happen. And there's, there's no extenuating circumstance that it's okay, then you sit in your room and you don't have to put it away, but you're gonna sit in your room and stare at the door until it gets put away, because again, we're setting our kids up for success when they move out of the house, they need these tools to know how to self guide themselves and taking care of their space. so like my clean clothes, like I said, when they get to that chair, because I do my clothes, my laundry on Sunday. So sometimes on Monday it's still there, I like to do, okay, this is another tool. Okay. Have I ever told you about marathon and relay?
Lacey:No, but I have an idea.
Sara:I like to break up tasks into thinking of them as marathon or relay. So let's say all the clothes are clean. Marathon is, you dump them all out, you sort them into categories, you fold them, you immediately hang them up, put them in their cubby, wherever they go, and you do it all at once. I'm a very relay person. So like the clean laundry will get dumped on the bed, and then maybe, I don't know, the next time I walk by, it could be an hour, it could be two hours, I might put them into different categories, sort them. And then, if I have momentum. I'll pair the socks. I'll fold the pants. I'll do the things. And then sometimes I just leave it all
Lacey:You sort and then fold?
Sara:Yes.
Lacey:while folding. Sorry. Now you're, you're blowing my mind right now.
Sara:Okay. And here is why I'm glad you asked. I am never saying there's one
Lacey:Oh
Sara:things. You do what works for you. I have found for myself, I always talk about the decision tree. A or B, A or B. I find it easier for myself to sort into categories all at once. If I sort and fold, I'm going into two different parts of my brain. I'm picking up a sock. I'm looking for the other sock. I'm folding the socks. Okay, now I'm picking up shorts. Okay, now I'm folding shorts. If I just go shorts, socks, top, if I'm just sorting into categories, I do that so fast. Then if you have five t shirts, And I fold my t shirts like my gym shirts. Then I'm just folding all the five shirts the same at the same time. So I'm not going between how do I fold my pants? How do I fold my socks? How do I fold my I'm doing like, I always say to people all the time, like with like,
Lacey:You are blowing my mind. Because I, so remember I have this bag full of clothes that could be anybody's, could be any type of thing. And I sit down and in my mind, I have to fold, sort and fold. And it could be millions of categories. But now I'm realizing, oh, what if I just sorted to start it with? Even if I just sorted it back into bags,
Sara:you could. I would not go back into bags. To me, that's taking a step
Lacey:Okay, but I but as you're saying this I'm like, yeah, I not only am I categorizing by what it is I'm categorizing by whose it is and
Sara:I guess you could do it into a bag or a basket if it's going into a different room. So if you're like, oh, this is all Iris's stuff, then it would go in a different basket because then you'd have to transport it. I'm going to blow your mind even once up further. We do our laundry by person. Everyone has their laundry day. I am not mixing people's socks together. I'm not trying to figure out whose sock is this. I'm not. And then sheets are done on one day. Towels will do that in one day. I do not, you know, that whole thing of like, you're folding a towel, you're pulling off a sock. Like I don't do that.
Lacey:All of our stuff is different enough that it is a very quick decision on whose it is. So that isn't hard for me. I will say when I do folding and I get something that's like a random towel or sheet, I do just set that to the side. now that we're talking about it, I do a little bit of this already, but I do wonder if it would make it. Especially for the kids clothes, because I either take it to their room and fold it if it's all theirs, or I fold it in our bed, and then I take the piles to their room.
Sara:The other thing that you could do is, so I like that the bags, because you have two floors of laundry, so you're carrying the bag between floors, but if all the laundry up on the second floor, it's just, is this going to Isaac's room or Isaac's room? Iris's room, you could have designated baskets. So they're wider and shallower. You could fold it all on your bed and just put it into each basket. And then the key is, is that basket is only for clean. And then that clean basket goes on top of the dresser or whatever. But if it's like white or some distinct color, that's not the hamper, then you could sit in your bed and do it all in one place. This is my jam. again, Going back to your home as an organization, you are streamlining repetitive processes. Is that the, is that the plural of process? have no idea. Processes?
Lacey:it is.
Sara:You're streamlining these things that you do all the time so that you can conserve your energy for the one offs. Or for the, things that you want to be doing or for things that come up that were unexpected. So make laundry, meal planning, cleaning, mail as routine, as least mental strain as possible. Have all of these things be so just automated, no brainer, that It is just you don't even think about it.
Lacey:so can I just tell you what my takeaway is going to be? I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to see if we can get a colored hanger thing, like we already have one color for Isaac and one color for Iris. And then I can sort and pull their clothes out and put them in the appropriate bag. Cause sometimes things get messed up in the move from one room to another. And then I get frustrated cause I'm like, man, I took the time to fold that. So, I wouldn't fold them yet. I would put them in there unfolded and then take it back to their room, get it out, and then they would have to put it away. I would put Iris's away because she still can't even reach half of the things for her. but what that also does is then I have an empty bag because each of my kids have a hamper or a basket, and then sometimes Joe will just take that, but then they don't have that basket. there in their room again. So then that's where dirty clothes end up more on the floor. So what that does is when that gets put away, it has created that bag for Joe to be able to use, to bring their stuff back up or as their stuff comes. So
Sara:Yeah.
Lacey:I am seeing it. It's happening. I love it so much.
Sara:It's just, it's a house factory. You're doing this stuff over and over and it's just make that process. and efficient. All back to the closed chair, which is the closed chair can be part of this process. if it's clean and you haven't gotten it all the way there, if it's not all the way dirty and you want to just have it in a holding place, just making sure it's designated clearly and that things maybe don't start to live there unless that's your intention, which is also fine. But I would say if things start living there, Then you get to ask yourself, is the putting away process, is there something that is hindering this? Is there something that could be easier in the process?
Lacey:So in my old house, I could. I could. tell you right away in my old house, it was a very narrow, long closet, so it was very difficult for me to get in and put things away easily. That was my barrier every time. right now, I think it's because I need to start getting rid of some of my hanging clothes that just live there that I haven't worn in a while. Cause I don't just, for some reason, the ones that I do wear, I'm like, well, I'm going to wear this one tomorrow anyway. You know what I mean? So like I, I think I need to refresh so that it fits. Like it's not, I don't know, it's not dead. I don't know what else to say. let me just say it starts off in that I do all that folding. I have set aside the clothes to be hung up. And at that point for me, I'm exhausted, right? Cause that was a lot for me, a lot of armament and that kind of stuff. but then the thing that prevents it from happening later on is I'm like, I'll probably just wear that dress soon anyway, so I won't hang it up.
Sara:Well, and that is interesting. I love this statistic, which I can't trace back its origin, but it is something to the effect of you wear 20 percent of your closet, 80 percent of the time. So that 20 percent that you laundered that is the that is 80 percent of what you wear So what's really interesting is if everything's in the laundry and I know there's seasons and I know there's special activities but if You do your laundry and that's all removed for your closet and your dressers. Look at what's left and When is the last time I wore this? What am I keeping this for? And I know that's boring and that's, that's under the header of processing, which I've said before, processing is super boring. But if you're realizing your drawers don't close easily because they're jam packed, it's time to process. If you realize you're, you know, when you go to try to hang something up and you're like shoving, And you're using all your body weight to get that hanger in there. It's time to process. And the thing of but I don't want to like not have enough clothes. You wear 20 percent of your closet. We can only wear one, one of everything at a time. And even if you did laundry every 14 days, you still only need 14. of each item. So it's just something interesting to think about.
Lacey:I want to know everyone's mental math about when, how something can be worn again. Because I think everyone has their own idea of this, and you definitely have one, and I know I have one. So I want to talk about that. And two, I want to give you all an update on my clothes chair and laundry system journey. I'm going to make it happen and we're going to come back and revisit this. We'll have a part two. laundry part two. can we do real quick gratitude? Real quick.
Sara:Yeah.
Lacey:Okay. I am grateful for therapy. I had a really big, breakthrough in therapy this week and I just feel like a new person. I am very content and happy and not in a like ignoring things way. Like I feel at peace with a lot of the things in my life and I'm just so thankful for that.
Sara:Thankful. Love it. I am thankful for air conditioning. It's very hot. I'm so thankful we have air conditioning. The
Lacey:Me too. too. Thank you, Sarah.
Sara:Thank you, Lacey.