I am a person who gets excited by change.
Maybe it is the fact that it offers new possibilities or I just seem to be blessed with a positive outlook. Being on the precipice of change is a different story. I want to be able to take action, talk about what is happening openly, and make the change work for me.
I’ve been on the precipice of a huge life change just waiting for months now. Finally, I can talk about it.
The logistics and specifics are the least interesting to me, so let’s get them out of the way quickly. My husband got a new job about an hour away from our home, so we are picking up and moving closer to it.
Looking out of the precipice
This has been in the works since April.
There was no action I could take and few places for me to talk about what is happening. BUT, I have been thinking about how the change will work for me.
I love our home, our community, and the city of Cincinnati. I also am not the woman I was when we bought this home. We’ve added dogs, kids, and my disability needs to this home. It is doing its best, but we have not figured out all the ways to make it work.
It is so serendipitous that during this same time, we started No Shame In The Home Game. I’ve learned so much from Sara and our participants about making a home function for your family’s needs. The possibility of starting anew, in a home that can meet and serve those needs without a huge amount of retrofitting, is so exciting to me.
The Making of Change
For months, I’ve been thinking, dreaming, and waiting. Now we can start taking action, and I am so excited – and nervous.
This process takes energy and lots of physicality. These are things I don’t have. We also don’t have the funds to completely pay for everything to be done for us, so somehow we will need to figure out how to get it done with the time, energy, and resources we do have.
We do have a wonderful support system and family who I know will want to help. As I’ve talked about before, asking for help is hard. Accepting help is hard. I also know people often want to help, but then don’t show up. Rightfully so! They have their own lives, commitments, priorities, and boundaries. This makes help a bit of an unreliable resource, which as someone relying on it, is anxiety-inducing for me.
Sharing about this is difficult. Support is complicated with a mix of feelings, logistics, baggage, and expectations all rolled up.
The Next Steps
Being realistic about myself and my abilities, I should be honest that I may be taking some breaks from all things Mddl. I have no idea what that means or looks like because even though I am on the precipice, I am still just looking at the whole and not getting into it as much as I would like.
I can tell you that I will be honest, authentic, and share whatever I can. This is a big, messy middle I’m about to wade through, and I am going to be testing what I have learned along the way.