In my Communication degree, one of the first lessons I learned was that we give meaning to words. We usually associate two types of meanings with words: denotation, which is the literal dictionary definition, and connotation, which is the additional meanings we assign to words. These additional meanings can be thought of as the emotional baggage attached to a word. Whenever that word is used or applied, we associate all of its baggage with the context.
Take the word “moist” as an example. For some, hearing “This cake is so moist” might trigger a negative reaction, even affecting the enjoyment of the cake. Despite the dictionary definition of moist being a desirable trait in a cake, the connotative baggage can outweigh the denotation. It may not seem logical, but human behavior often defies logic.
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So, how does this relate to home management?
Go Do Your Chores
What’s your reaction when I tell you to do your chores? Does it inspire enthusiasm? Probably not. Chances are, it brings back memories of a Saturday morning when you had to complete your chores before you were allowed to play with your friends.
You might even recall a dreaded chore chart dictating your tasks. Personally, being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it triggers a negative response. The mere thought of “doing chores” deflates my motivation.
Now, what if I invited you on a quest to prepare the house for battle (with “battle” referring to a typical day in a house with small children)? That sounds more appealing than doing chores, doesn’t it?
It’s Merely Semantics (and That’s the Point)
We’re intelligent. We understand that changing the terminology is a subtle manipulation. But it can work, even on my 3 and 5 year olds (a topic we’ll delve into in Home Management for Kids). Small changes in language can make a big difference.
Referring to end-of-day tasks as a reset or closing duties (a term I got from KC Davis’s book How to Keep House While Drowning) feels more manageable than cleaning the house. Similarly, calling a room the “Library” can make it feel more special than just a room off the living room.
Such small shifts can change how we perceive tasks, which is essentially the theme of No Shame In The Home Game.
A Tool, Not a Standard
Just as we wouldn’t use a hammer to open a window, we shouldn’t use this tool to shame ourselves. While I love the idea of a library, I also recognize that I’m just one person, and a real library has staff to maintain it. We shouldn’t set the same standards for ourselves.
The key is to make adjustments that work for you, not for me, Martha Stewart, or your perfect sister. Because words mean something different to each of us. And as the expert on yourself, you have the power to make these shifts.